The Changing Sands
by everyday0203
Summary: just my imagination running wild on a scenario that could have happened but didn't after gaara was defeated by naruto...GaaraSakura of course.
1. Chapter 1

**So…first fanfic ever. Just decided to do this for fun. **

**Oh, and I equal a poor overworked and over-caffeinated college student…clearly I don't own Naruto.**

Green and blue eyes.

That's all I could see as my siblings carried me back to our home in Suna.

Green and blue eyes glowing with the fire of determination. They seemed to haunt every crevice of my mind, forcing Shukaku into the deepest darkest corner to cower until my mind was once again free for him to torment.

Imagining the fearsome Shukaku cowering with his tail tucked between his legs almost made me smile…almost. I had already freaked both Temari and Kankuro out by apologizing to them both so I figured I would suppress the smile to save their sanity.

But it was still amusing to me…the almighty Shukaku, beaten by a small nobody of a boy.

Shukaku was beaten, I was saved.

This Naruto kid helped me to see "the light" if you will, helped me to see how my past actions were all wrong. Well, _some_ of them were wrong, but some of the people I have killed had it coming in worse ways than I could give it to them.

I keep replaying the fight over and over in my head, but the moment that I remember the most, the moment that's the most vivid, is highlighted with green eyes and pink hair. Never would I have imagined that girl jumping in front of me to save that Uchiha boy. When I first met her when my siblings and I first entered into this town, I immediately dismissed her as some little girl that dreamed of being a ninja but just didn't have the makings and the guts to follow through with it.

Boy was I wrong.

Not even my father, the Kazekage of Suna, would stand up to me like that. Sure, he had found ways to punish me, but never would he stand up to me when I was losing control.

But that girl…

That stupid little girl who dragged all of the memories that I had so lovingly repressed back out of their graves… she stood up to me.

That's probably why her eyes are still haunting me.

And that Naruto kid… the way his eyes changed as our battle progressed… no wonder they're still following me around.

But I can't think about those two now.

Right now I have to concentrate on the problem at hand: what the hell I'm going to tell the heads of Suna when we get back.

The mission failed because I couldn't keep control, but whether or not I would be punished for it was the question. I knew that everyone else would be punished of course, because of my failure everyone that was assigned to this mission would suffer. Temari, Kankuro, the other ninjas… all of them would suffer.

Shukaku loved that idea.

They would all bleed because of me. Just the thought of all that blood causes my heart to flutter.

But for some reason, it just didn't feel right to me anymore. For once in my life I _didn't_ want them to bleed because of me.

I can only hope this new found feeling doesn't last too long, because I don't know if I can handle it.

Feeling my siblings slow down their pace, I scanned our surroundings. The tree line is beginning to thin, so that means we're getting closer to the desert. Apparently we weren't going to stick around to face the repercussions from Konohoa.

Smart move, but we're still going from out of the frying pan and into the fire. They knew full well what awaited them in Suna, they knew of our country's policies on failed S missions: twenty lashes.

It might sound barbaric and prehistoric…but it works.

Even I wasn't immune to such a punishment. Our father had a special building built where no sand could get in; and where there's no sand, there's nothing to protect me; so the whip and whatever else my father could choose to punish me with pierces my skin just like everybody else's. He always use to threaten to take me to that room, and I always just looked at him, daring him to try it. Sure, once he got me into that room I would be at his mercy… but of course, he had to _get_ me into that room, and both he and I knew that that wasn't going to happen.

Hearing my sibling's quarreling voices, I was snapped out of my memories…

"We have to go back to Suna, Kankuro! Gaara needs medical attention."

"But Temari, the mission might not be a complete failure yet… we have to go back and see what we can do!"

"This mission was a failure before it was even carried out, Kankuro, and you know it! I don't know what father and the elders were thinking when they made up this plan but…"

Sick of hearing them fight over what to do, I decided to bring reality crashing down into their lives once again.

"That wasn't our father."

That shut them up. But I should have thought my action through more because now they expected an explanation out of me… and I wasn't in the talking mood.

Sighing, I elaborated, "he was different. The way he moved and talked…that wasn't our father."

"Then who was it?!" Kankuro shouted.

You know, for an older brother, he wasn't very smart.

"How am I supposed to know who that was?" I almost shouted back, "all I know is that it wasn't our father."

"Gaara's right," Temari added, "he was different somehow…he was stiffer in his movements…"

Finally, quiet descended upon us as my siblings thought everything over.

"What are we going to do?" mumbled Kankuro.

The question hung into the air. We all knew that no matter where we went serious repercussions followed.

"Well, we can't sit around here all day…" Temari muttered.

"…Let's go home," I decided for us.

ÃÃÃÃ

Halfway through the desert I regained enough chakra to support myself on our trek home. I could tell that Temari and Kankuro were exhausted, but I didn't want to stop yet. I wanted to get as much distance between Konohoa and us that I could before the sun got too hot and forced us to stop. Besides…I needed time to think and sort things out in my head.

Walking ahead of my siblings, I closed my eyes and focused my attention inward. As my body continued to walk, my awareness stroked every corner and crevice of my mind looking for Shukaku. As much as I hate to admit it, I needed and depended on that wretched demon. If it weren't for him, I would have been dead long ago.

Growing up, Shukaku hid himself from me. I always knew that I was different from everyone else, and the way that others reacted to me only proved this; but I would never had guessed just how different I really was.

It wasn't until my uncle tried to kill me under my father's orders that Shukaku let himself known to me.

He saved me from my uncle's spineless attack.

He gave me strength when all I wanted to do was quit and die along with my uncle.

He promised me revenge on all who ever wronged me.

He kept me company when I was shunned from all of Suna.

He told me of my mother…

Yes, Shukaku was my friend…but he is also the being that threatens my very existence by overwhelming me with his power and taking over my body.

Sighing, I reached out with my mind, _Shukaku, where are you?_

_**I'm here boy…**_

That's all I needed to hear.

Opening my eyes once more I focused on the limitless sea of sand in front of me, knowing that our home laid somewhere ahead of us and that Shukaku would talk to me once again when he was ready.

At mid-day, the heat became overbearing, so we were forced to stop.

My siblings set up their tents to shield them from the sun and I watched as they slowly drifted into a light sleep. I knew they wouldn't sleep deeply like they sometimes did because they were still worried about me losing control…if they only knew how much control I had right now, they would have the deepest sleep they ever had.

I sat myself in the shade of Temari's tent since I usually used my sand as protection from the sun, but with my chakra levels being as low as they were, I didn't want to push things.

Closing my eyes, I listened to Temari's breath slip evenly in and out. I used to do this all of the time when I was little. I used to hear my siblings breath change as they slipped into sleep and would become jealous over their ability to sleep and dream and to take a break from the world around them. Sometimes I used to mimic their breathing patterns and would pretend that I was sleeping with them, occasionally it made me feel normal, but that effect soon lost its appeal.

I was different.

There was no point in acting like I wasn't.

_**We lost!!!!**_ a high pitched shriek came from deep within me causing me to visibly flinch at the volume.

I kept my inner dialogue on mute, I knew it would only provoke him further if I interrupted his rant.

_**I can't believe we lost to that nine tailed boy! How could we be so weak!? **_

I could feel the demon thrashing around inside of me, throwing a tantrum that would be equivalent to a six year old not getting his way.

I just sat quietly in the shade of the tent, letting him wreak havoc on my insides…he would calm down eventually.

After a few minutes of constant screaming, Shukaku calmed down. _**I guess the battle was a little unfair…I mean, we did fight and defeat that Uchiha kid. That counts for something. If we didn't have that battle before the battle with the orange kid, we would have won…**_

I smirked at this. Leave it to Shukaku to make himself feel better about losing.

Done licking his ego's wounds, the demon turned his attention onto me.

_**Boy. I cannot protect you from the fury of the village if they bring you to that room…**_

_I know,_ I replied opening my eyes. I took in the surrounding desert and the mountains of sand.

_**They could kill you…if they bring that damned teakettle in there and start the chants…**_

_I KNOW,_ I said a little louder. Shudders ran up my spine as a picture of the kettle flashed in my mind. I felt Shukaku shudder as well, he hated that thing more than I did.

Once my father dragged me to that room when I was caught off-guard and locked me in there for a few days. Eventually Temari noticed by absence and let me out. She found me in a corner of the room shaking violently and staring at nothing but that damned teakettle…

Forcing the memory from my mind, I stood up suddenly and startled my siblings by saying, "Let's move."

They jumped slightly at my voice but followed my order without complaint.

They were in no hurry to get home, but they knew we were just sitting ducks in the open desert.

Walking slightly in front of them, I kept my eyes trained on green eyes hovering above the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

**I just checked the mail… I still don't own Naruto.**

**sigh**

When the gates of Suna finally came into sight, I felt Shukaku and myself immediately take up an offensive pose. My shoulders and hands tightened and I set my eyes to a piercing glare; if anyone made the wrong move, they were dead.

I could sense the guards' uneasiness as we walked through the gates. One of them hesitated on letting us in. I looked at him and he cowered somewhere out of my sight. His weakness nauseated me.

_**Do him a favor and put him out of his misery…**_ purred Shukaku. **_Such weakness won't be missed in this world._**

Sometimes Shukaku is very persuasive… when we were passed the gates and I knew my siblings had their eyes on other things, a tendril of sand quickly covered the man's mouth and then the rest of his body. The man screamed bloody hell into the sand at first, but the screams quickly died off as the sand filled his mouth, throat, and lungs. Once I knew he was dead, I retracted the sand… no one would know that I killed him. It just looks as if the man was suffocated…anyone could have done it.

Suna's streets seemed to clear and I could sense trouble all around us. Shukaku's battle cry filled my head and I grasped at it, digging my fingernails into my skull. Temari moved to put her hand on my shoulder but I stopped her of that action immediately. "Don't think that everything is fixed between us girl…" I said. I watched as her eyes went from confused to understanding as all of the horrors she did to me as a child flashed into her mind. It wasn't so much the things she did, but more so the things she _didn't _do. All the times where she could have hugged me, comforted me, included me in her games…but didn't. The day after Yashumaru tried to kill me she came to my room and screamed at me, tried to hit me, and called me a monster. Still new to the whole "love only yourself" mindset, I tried to explain to her what had happened; but she wouldn't hear any of it.

I remember Shukaku screaming at me to kill her, but I couldn't. She reminded me too much of all the pictures I had seen of mother, and was in fact the only mother-figure I had in my life.

I could not kill her.

But ever since that day, I have been distant from her.

Movement broke me out of my reverie. Someone was sneaking around us, trying to get a flank position without us knowing about it.

Such cowardice in this village…it makes my guts churn.

Just fight me face to face.

Your death is still eminent.

I stopped walking and turned to face the cowardly attacker. My siblings tried to ask me what was going on but my sand forcefully pushed them back. I didn't want them near me, they were in the way.

"Come out." I demanded, staring at a water barrel.

"Gaara…" Kankuro yawned, "it's just a water barrel…"

I narrowed my eyes and a tendril of sand slapped him in the cheek. That shut him up, I will not allow comic relief at such a time.

Slowly and unsurely a ninja came out from behind the barrel.

My eyes widened…a woman.

In all of my history, I have never killed one from the female sex…not counting my mother of course.

Perhaps she knew this and was using her sex to her advantage.

_**Kill her!**_

Shukaku demanded. I grasped my head as his screams echoed off of my skull.

_No…_my small voice answered. _I can't…_

_**She will have no problem killing you! So you must kill her FIRST!**_

His anger radiated from my body. Shukaku's anger at the attacker, at how she was planning to attack us, at me for disobeying him pulsed through my veins and forced them to bulge. I could feel my eyes press against their sockets as he stormed inside of me. I knew that if I killed this girl, her death would not be pleasant and quick.

_**Kill her! KILL HER! KILL HER!**_

I dropped to my knees and groaned in agony as his rage got worse. My skull felt like it was about to burst in two. He gave me no choice…SHE gave me no choice. I easily got mad at the girl.

"COWARD!" I yelled as I reached out my arm and my sand snaked up her legs.

She gasped as the sand rubbed against her skin, wearing away the cells that composed her body.

Suddenly, green eyes flashed into my mind again. I folded in on myself and shook. They were watching me. They were ever watching eyes, like Shukaku's…they were judging me. They were frowning on me and my current action.

"Leave me alone…" I muttered. But they wouldn't go away. My shaking became more violent and it seemed all of Suna was poking their heads out of their hiding places, watching me, judging me too.

_**KILL THEM ALL!!!!**_

I leaned back and let out an inhuman roar.

All of Suna shook. They knew that sound…it didn't belong to me, it belonged to Shukaku.

I was losing control.

I felt my skin bulge as Shukaku's form threatened to become me again. I grit my teeth as they grew longer and sharper, drool came out from the side of my mouth. I could feel as my eyes began to change again, those tiny yellow irises swimming around in the blackness.

"GAARA!" Temari cried from somewhere behind me. I ignored her, she was not important.

My gaze went to the terrified woman in front of me that was frozen in place by my sand. I snarled and growled at her as Shukaku gained more and more control. The fear in her eyes is what I lived for…what I dreamed of. The pain and suffering reflected in them and for once she knew what I had felt when the village abandoned me and treated me like a monster.

They made me, they cannot abandon their creation and not expect it to turn on them!

That was the reason for all of my killings.

Not just for revenge, but also to help them understand what I have lived through these past six years.

Pain.

Misery.

Loneliness.

That was my reality.

And it was now this woman's as well.

A half laugh half snarl came from deep within me and I could feel everyone around me shudder.

Yes. This is what I live for.

"Now let me exist!" I yelled as the sand tightened around the woman and she screamed.

But suddenly my vision of the woman was blocked and all I saw was Temari's white clothing. I was so shocked by this sudden action that my sand dropped the victim it was holding. But like a cat plays with a mouse before it eats it, the woman was too injured and too exhausted from my "playing" to run away. She just laid there in pure agony as every bone in her legs and hips had been crushed. I focused on her whimpers to keep myself from killing my own sister.

I awaited her verbal onslaught, but surprisingly it wasn't directed at me, but at the half-crushed woman before me.

"How _dare_ you attack us in such a manner!" Temari yelled at the woman. "How can you call yourself a shinobi of Suna and yet attack with such cowardice?! You should be ashamed of yourself…you deserve what Gaara has done to you. May you be an example for all of the other cowards that live within this village. Let it be known that your cowardice will be rewarded by pain and misery…"

Spoken like a true Kazekage's daughter.

During Temari's discourse, I slowly began to regain control. I pushed Shukaku back and regained my own form.

When Temari looked back at me, she was smirking. And it could have been my imagination or my insanity…but she winked at me as well.

"Come on brothers." she said as she started walking again.

Kankuro gave the injured woman one more look and then gave her the worst insult you can give someone in Suna: he spit on the ground. After doing so, he followed after Temari.

I simply turned around and started walking behind them when I heard a soft whisper plead, "please…kill me. Finish me off…put me out of this hell."

I stopped at this. Keeping my back to her I didn't even give her the respect of looking at her when I responded, "you don't deserve death."

And when I heard her whimper and sob again, I spit as well and continued after my siblings.

That woman's career as a shinobi was over. Our medical ninjas were far too dim-witted to fix such massive damage. Her new career would be begging on the streets for money or food or water so that she could survive.

I felt as Shukaku laughed gleefully in my mind.

He was happy.

Therefore, I was happy.

I could still see the green eyes though…

It looked like they were smiling at me.

ÃÃÃÃÃÃ

Temari led us to the hospital. At the entrance she instructed Kankuro to keep watch for any more trouble aimed at us, then she told me that she was going to take me to get some medicine to help my shoulder.

"But shouldn't we tell the elders that we've returned?" protested Kankuro.

"I'd rather get Gaara's shoulder looked after first," Temari replied. "Then we'll worry about the elders."

"They already know we're here." I said, breaking up another potential argument. "They knew as soon as we entered the gates."

Temari and Kankuro exchanged glances then looked at me.

"Come on Gaara." Temari said as she walked into the hospital doors.

I looked at Kankuro and then followed her inside.

I never understood hospitals. The stench of death, sickness, blood, and infection all mixed together and covered up with an even more repugnant smelling disinfectant or sanitizer of some sort. The mixture of blood and bleach never sat well with my nostrils.

Apparently they had switched from bleach to some kind of lemon smelling stuff though, because the stench of lemons filled the air and caused my guts to tighten.

The hospital hallways were empty. All of the medics probably heard our little battle on the street and ran for their lives. As they should have…

They may be incompetent as healers, but they sure weren't stupid.

"Looks like I'll have to heal you myself…" Temari said.

I didn't respond. She already stated the obvious, there was no reason to further dumb our conversation down by reaffirming the obvious.

She turned into an exam room and searched through the cupboards for medicine of some sort. My shoulder wasn't really bothering me…in fact, I welcomed the sensation it was bringing to my body. I never really experienced physical pain before, except for when I engraved "love" onto my forehead. It was entirely new to me, and I rather enjoyed it. But I didn't want to tell Temari that. She seemed intent on fixing it. I think she was just using it as an excuse to keep her mind off of what was about to come.

"Here it is!" Temari said to no one in particular. She produced a small bottle filled with a strong smelling clear liquid. I sniffed it and immediately retracted my nose, giving my sister a glare that caused her to rethink using the fowl smelling medicine on me.

"It's just rubbing alcohol Gaara." she said. "It'll clean it so it won't get infected. It's the best I can do since I don't know any healing jutsu and there aren't any medic ninjas around…it'll sting a lot, but it will help."

That's all she had to say: it will sting. Stinging meant pain, physical pain. I would do anything to make my body take away the pain the constantly burdens my heart.

I nodded at Temari giving her permission to use the medicine. I took my shirt off and sat perfectly still as Temari poured the cold unforgiving liquid onto my shoulder. The sensation it caused was one I've never experienced before…

It stung yet soothed.

Was cold and yet hot.

It cleaned and yet made my broken skin puff up and become red.

I didn't want it to stop…

Temari then took a clean white bandage and bound the wound tightly so that my movement would not cause it to break open again.

"All done." she said, stepping back to admire her first work as a "medic". "This medic stuff isn't so hard… maybe my true calling is to become a medic!"

I just stared at my sister. The last profession I saw my ruthless sister in was a profession that called for finesse and caring.

"What?" she asked as I looked at her skeptically "you can't see me as a medic? You could help me in the hospital… you could be my assistant."

My eyes widened at her statement. Was she joking with me?! There was no way that she was being serious… I am a killer, a monster. I destroy lives, not save them.

My suspicions of her jesting were confirmed when she bumped into me with her shoulder in a playful manner and laughed.

I was thoroughly confused now.

She never joked with me before. Why was she doing it now?

Not knowing how to react to this new treatment, I stared at my hands and decided to just ignore her and her bizarre statements.

While I was staring at my palms, I heard her sigh heavily. I felt her sit down besides me on the table. She was playing with her fingers in her lap, a nervous habit of hers…I was making her nervous.

"Gaara…" she started, "I know that there's a lot of things that have happened in the past that I cannot fix. But I want you to know that no matter what happens, you are my brother. You will always be my brother, and I will do everything I can to protect you. Mother she…"

Something wet hit the table and I looked over and noticed that Temari was crying. I have never seen my sister cry before…but then again, I've never heard my sister talk about our mother before either.

Wiping her eyes, she continued, "right before you were born, mother picked me up and sang me the lullaby that she used to sing to Kankuro and I all the time. When she was done, she told me that it was going to be my job to protect you and watch over you and act as a mother to you since she wouldn't be around to do that…I guess she knew that she wasn't going to live through the birth. I was so young, I didn't know what she was talking about…but I agreed anyways. I feel as though I've dishonored our mother since I've been everything but caring and supportive to you. I know it's probably too late…but if you could maybe trust me a little bit I won't make you regret it. I swear. I…I just want us to be a family. We're going to need each other if we're going to survive the coming punishment…maybe if we…"

I stopped her there by placing my hand on her shoulder. It was the first time I had touched my sister in a non-fighting way in six years. I felt her stiffen underneath my palm, I could tell she was weighing her options on whether or not I was going to hurt her.

I really didn't know what to say to her. What could I say to her? I couldn't tell her that all was forgiven, because it wasn't. I couldn't tell her that I could trust her now, because I couldn't.

"Tell me more about our mother." I said.

At this, Temari smiled slightly and leaned back against the wall that the table was against.

"Well…" she started, "she was a very strong shinobi…"

I leaned back as well and closed my eyes as I listened intently to her words. I kept a picture of our mother in my mind as Temari told me stories of the games she used to play with our mother when she was growing up. Temari told me how her voice used to sound, and how she used to smell. How her clothes use to flow off of her in the most graceful way, and how her beauty used to capture everyone's attention without her even trying. Temari told me that our mother used to soothe both her and Kankuro when they would have bad dreams by singing the same lullaby to them. She then told me that she used to sing to me when I was growing inside of her.

"She loved you Gaara. I know that's hard for you to believe…but she did. It was only near the end of her pregnancy and her life that her love became twisted with revenge and she began to change…I blame it on father."

I opened my eyes at that. She had just unknowingly put a crack in my entire basis of belief.

"Her love for me used to be pure?" I asked quietly.

Temari looked at me and smiled slightly. "Of course it was."

She opened her mouth to say something more but she was interrupted by footsteps coming down the hall quickly.

We both looked at the door, I could sense my sister becoming more and more nervous as the footsteps got closer.

"Here they are." an elderly voice said. It was one of the elders…they were looking for us.

The other elders gathered around outside of the room. I could see Kankuro among the group, his hands were bound behind his back.

"It's begun…" Temari shuddered.

I only stared at the elders with my most menacing glare I could conjure. Shukaku hissed deep within me.

It has begun indeed…


	3. Chapter 3

**My most humble thanks to ALL that have read and reviewed this story. Your reviews and support have been a tremendous help to me and I thank each and every one of you… **

**blows kisses to all**

**But if you're sucking up to me because you have the misconception that I own Naruto…stop, because sadly it does not belong to me.**

**:-P**

**Again, thank you.**

One elder aggressively reached for Temari.

His mistake.

My sand shot out immediately and wrapped around his hand. The man let out a surprised yelp and tried to pull away, but I was holding on to him with a vice-grip.

"We will go quietly." I said, speaking to everyone, including my siblings who I knew would put up some sort of a fight. "There is no need to force us. Now untie Kankuro."

A staring contest then commenced.

They didn't trust us, and we didn't trust them. Eventually they gave in though, they knew that they couldn't take me by force and if I was now protecting my siblings, they wouldn't be able to take them either.

"Bakas…" Kankuro mumbled as he rubbed the indents left over from the rope being tied too tight. He then moved to stand next to Temari and me. Temari immediately asked him if he was alright. With a nod he answered her question and they both looked at the old men standing in front of us once again.

"What do you want?" asked Temari.

Sometimes I wish my siblings didn't talk…it was obvious what they wanted. They wanted us, they wanted our blood. They knew the mission had failed and because of that failure all of Suna would feel the consequences. And they needed to punish those responsible or else feel the fall-out from the regular citizens.

"You need to come with us." is all the leader of the pack said. And with that, he turned and started to walk out of the room.

Without hesitation I followed after him. My siblings, on the other hand, needed some encouragement…so I sent some sand behind them to hiss and nip at their heels to get them moving. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place: either go with the elders and feel the pain of the whip, or stay in the room and face the wrath of my sand. They chose the lesser of the evils as I could hear their footsteps fall in line with mine.

They led us to the main Kazekage's building. Upon entering, I could immediately tell that something was wrong. The stench of fear and indecision hung in the air, thick like fog, and people were running every which way. Some of the people running by noticed me and panicked for a second, I could tell they were trying to decide on whether or not to continue their current path of movement or turn and run the other way.

I didn't even spare them a glance…imbeciles, all of them.

We were no less pushed into a room that was obviously set up to deal with the punishments of the ninjas associated with the failed mission.

Inside the room, a few ninjas were already there. They were sitting on the floor in one of the back corners of the room. Apparently we weren't the only ones who had known to get the hell out of Konohoa.

Among them was our teacher, Baki.

"Baki!" Temari exclaimed and ran at the startled man, Kankuro right on her heels. They both stopped dead in front of him and stared at him with worried glances. I could smell his blood from the door, he was injured.

"What…what happened out there?" Temari asked him.

Baki sighed deeply and leaned back against the wall that he was sitting up against.

"When you guys left the arena with Gaara, we carried out the mission as planned. Only…" he took another deep breath and let it out all at once along with his explanation. "Not all of the people in the audience were asleep and they fought us. Many of the citizens in the city defended as well. That was something we weren't counting on. Our only chance would have been when Gaara showed up but…"

He stopped there and looked at me. I only spared him a sideways glare.

"We tried…" Temari said. Baki stopped looking at me and brought his full attention back onto her.

"Gaara changed into Shukaku fully. He even fell asleep so that Shukaku was under full control but… a boy defeated him. And afterwards he was too weak to do any more fighting, so we decided to retreat back to Suna."

Baki's eyes widened, "He was defeated?! By who?!"

Before my siblings could answer, I said, "Uzumaki Naruto".

Baki let out a short laugh of disbelief, "the most powerful shinobi in the world can't even scratch you, and a runt like that loudmouthed kid beat you?"

Before another word could be uttered from his lips, my sand covered his mouth and his throat, squeezing the breath out of him. I calmly walked over to him and leaned down into his face. I looked him right in the eyes. I could see fear there, exactly what I wanted.

"He has the nine-tails sealed within him." I said monotonously "he's just like me."

I added a little more pressure to the sand that was holding Baki before I released it. I had to let him know I was still ruthless. If he thought I had changed in even the smallest way, he would try to walk all over me.

The other ninjas in the room stared at us quietly. Once our little confrontation was over, they put their attention back to the conversation they were having.

I took up a spot leaning against the wall, waiting for the elders to return. My siblings sat besides Baki, waiting as well.

"What do you think they'll do to us?" Temari asked quietly.

"You know the punishment." replied Baki.

"I know but…but what if they decide to make it worse?" Temari muttered.

"They won't. Other S missions have been failed before, this is nothing new…"

Suddenly the doors burst open and all of the elders came streaming in. They took their positions behind the long desk in the front of the room and stared daggers at us.

"You..." the head elder bellowed.

I could feel my sister shake slightly at the sound of his voice.

"You all were in the S-ranked mission to infiltrate and destroy Konohoa. This is not all of the shinobi that were sent on this mission, but you are the only ones that have returned so far. We are unsure of how many were killed, but those that were killed should give thanks, for they are not about to experience the pain of which we are about to give you."

He paused there and brought his full attention onto Temari, Kankuro, and myself.

"Your father is dead." he stated simply.

Temari and Kankuro gasped in surprise.

"Wh…What?!" shouted Temari.

"How did this, no, how COULD this have happened?!" Kankuro shouted as well.

I didn't even flinch at the news. His death would explain why everyone was running around in a panicked state. Without the Kazekage, this village's leaders were like chickens with their heads cut off.

I looked up at the head elder who had given us the news and was surprised to see that he had his full attention now focused on me. His eyes darkened and he kept his attention on me when he told us how they found our father.

"He was found by a few guards outside of Suna in the surrounding desert. He was at the bottom of a pit…slain. He was out there for a few days judging from the condition of the body…"

Knowing full well what the desert and its creatures will do to a body after a few days, I couldn't help but smile. After all the injustice he had inflicted, he finally got what he deserved…something you don't see very often.

"You find this amusing Gaara?" the elder asked me, apparently he noticed my smile.

I didn't respond with words. I just looked at him and continued to smile, that was all the reply he needed.

"You have no remorse or regrets for your father, our Kazekage?" he was baiting me. I knew it, but this wasn't going to stop me from speaking my mind.

"My only remorse or regret is the fact that I didn't see him shriveled in the bottom of that pit as the bugs ate at his flesh."

Silence.

Silence filled the room. No one talked, no one _dared_ to talk.

"Maybe you were the one that killed him." the elder accused. So _that's_ what they were setting me up for.

"If I had killed him, there would be no remains left for you to find once I was through with him. I wish I was responsible, for that man had death coming to him by my hand for many years…but sadly I am not responsible. Perhaps the one responsible is the man that posed as our father during the Chuunin exams."

That shut them up.

"Is this true?!" the elder asked the remaining shinobi in the room. "Was there a man posing as Kazekage-sama at the exams?!"

Everyone nodded. The elders stared at each other in disbelief. Apparently this little detail had slipped by them.

Coming out of their shock, the head elder spoke once again, "This still does not mean that you will be spared from punishment. Each of you will be given twenty lashes…"

The man kept talking but my vision was suddenly overtaken by that girl's green eyes again. They were staring at me, urging me to do something. Only I didn't know what they wanted me to do.

Were these green eyes that conscience thing that people sometimes talked about?

And if so, since when did I have one?!

Trying not to bring unwanted attention to myself, I squeezed my eyes shut, willing those eyes to disappear. But the more the elder talked about everyone's punishment, the more vivid and urgent they became. Finally, I had had enough.

"Stop!" I yelled. My voice echoed off of the walls and everyone gasped in surprise.

I now had everyone's attention… only I didn't know what to do with it.

Calmly looking at the elder I said, "I'm the main reason why the mission failed. Spare everyone else their punishment, and punish me only."

My siblings' mouths, along with Baki's fell open in shock. The other ninjas in the room stared at me expecting this to be some kind of a joke but silently wishing that I was serious.

The elder all but smiled at this, "You would take on the burden of everyone else's failure?"

I nodded.

"Since when does the monster of Suna care about what happens to its people?"

My sister moved to say something to the man, but I silenced her by sticking my arm out.

"Since when do Suna's elders not wish to punish me for all of the things I've done?"

A smile now graced the elder's lips. I could see his mind working and thinking of ways that he could punish me.

"Very well. Gaara will be the sole person punished for this failure. But since he is taking on everyone's punishment, a more severe one will be given."

"Gaara don't do this." Temari pleaded, reaching for my arm. She grabbed my sleeve but I didn't move, I didn't even look at her. I just kept my eyes trained on the man who was all but laughing at me.

"Instead of a regular whip usually used in this situation, the bladed cat o' nine tailed whip will be used. If at any time during your punishment you lose control and assume the form of Shukaku, you will be bound to the room and we will begin the chants to remove Shukaku from your body. Gaara, now knowing your punishment, do you accept it? And will you go willingly to the sand-less room without so much as a struggle?"

I knew that whip. I've seen it once before. It's a whip that has nine ends instead of one, and on each end a razor blade is attached in order to inflict massive damage to the person it was being used on.

_A nine-tailed whip, _I mused, _how fitting._

Without flinching I replied with a sturdy, "Yes."

"Done!" the elder said, pounding his fist on the table. "Guards, prep Gaara. I will await for you in the room."

"NO!" Temari shouted rushing towards the elders.

"Please, punish me too. Don't let Gaara take on my punishment. Use the regular whip on him, don't make him suffer through such torture!"

Kankuro rushed at them as well. "Same with me! Punish me! Keep that cursed whip in the box that it was shut away in many years ago!"

The elders hesitated. They had never seen my siblings act in such a way towards me. This was truly a day for new things. But I still did not wish them to be punished…

"Temari. Kankuro." I spoke. "Leave it alone. This was a decision I've made for myself."

_**Stupid boy! **_Shukaku yelled at me. **_What are you thinking?! You know that those plotting elders have something up their sleeves that they did not tell you!!! What are you doing?!_**

_Relax Shukaku. I wanted this._

_**Why?!**_

_Because, it made her eyes smile…_

I could feel as Shukaku moved around inside me with intolerance and irritation.

_**Boy…you are insane.**_

I smirked at this.

_Yes, I am…_

Temari had tears flowing down her face once again. Baki had now joined my siblings to question me about my decision.

"Gaara…" Temari sobbed. Kankuro put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I could see the mixed feelings he had in his eyes about the current situation.

I looked at each of them, and then at Baki.

Baki only nodded at me, it was the closest thing I had ever gotten to a kind gesture from him.

Temari moved to hug me, my eyes widened in surprise. She wanted to touch me, she wanted to _hug _me… but before she could wrap her arms around me, I was suddenly seized by the guards. They forcefully folded my arms behind my back, all but breaking them. It took all of my will power to stop my sand from attacking them.

I watched as Temari moved to come after me, but she was retrained by Kankuro and Baki.

Her protests followed my down the hall as I was led away to the one thing I feared in all the world…that room.

During the walk there, I remained silent. I stared at the ground and refused to look at anyone. I reflected on a few things, but the thing I thought about the most was that girl in Konohoa.

_I wonder what she's doing right now…_

Shukaku hissed with agitation. _**You've grown weak boy… stop thinking about that girl and start worrying about surviving this coming punishment.**_

_You heard the elder, right? You cannot take control, otherwise I'm dead and you're back inside that teakettle._

More hissing vibrated my insides. _**I know…stupid, stupid boy!!! Why did you agree to become a martyr for a village that hates you, for a village that will ALWAYS hate you?!**_

_I already told you, I didn't do it for them… I did it for…_

_**I know, I know…that girl. That stupid girl! She has made you weak already and there isn't anything between you yet!!!**_

_Yet? _I asked him in amusement.

_**Don't be amused boy… there won't be a chance for there to be anything between you two if you die. You know these elders have had it out for you ever since you were born…each year of your existence was like a slap in their faces, a thorn in their side that got pushed in deeper and deeper…**_

Shukaku stopped talking when a shadow loomed over us.

We had arrived.

The guards removed my gourd and threw it against the ground. They then stripped me of my shirt and forcefully pushed me into the building and closed the door behind me.

ÃÃÃÃÃÃ

Inside the elders were waiting along with a man who would be giving me my punishment.

Two men forcefully grabbed my arms and shackled them tightly against a stone pillar that sat in the middle of the room. I lifted my head and took in my surroundings.

The room was full of people. The elders, the man holding the whip, along with others who held scrolls that contained the reverse of the possession technique. And finally, directly in front of me and demanding all of my attention was the tea kettle.

"Begin." an elder spoke.

I heard the whip whistle in the air and felt the sting as the blades cut deeply into my back.

"One" and elder counted.

I felt as warm liquid seeped from the newly made cuts on my back.

I didn't even flinch. I just kept my eyes trained on the tea kettle, concentrating on keeping Shukaku controlled inside of me so that the kettle wouldn't be used.

My body was slick with sweat and blood when finally the elder counted "Twenty".

My legs were shaking, but I refused to collapse or show any sort of emotion to amuse those around me.

I would not be broken by them.

Suddenly my back cried out in pain once again.

"Twenty one". the elder counted.

"What?!" I hissed "the punishment is twenty lashes!"

"On the contrary, Gaara. YOU'RE punishment is twenty lashes. So is Temari's, and Kankuro's, and Baki's, and the other handful of ninjas that have returned and that YOU have accepted their punishments for. So according to my calculations, that is a total of 160 lashes."

"You tricked me!" I hissed. Shukaku pressed against my skin once again begging to be let free to slaughter them all.

_NO! _I yelled. _I will be killed._

_**You'll be killed anyways by the time they are through with you!!!**_

I stared daggers at the elder who was now coming closer to me.

I regretted agreeing not to lash out at anyone when he whispered into my ear, "you're lucky I don't punish you for ALL of the shinobi assigned to this mission. I tried to get the others to agree, but they felt that they weren't justified to partake in such an action since they have not returned to the village yet…"

Leaning in closer, the man whispered venomously into my ear, "You know that girl you just crushed in the streets? That was my daughter. You have shamed her and all of our family by your actions, and now you must pay."

I glared at the man and responded with an evil smile gracing my face, "Cowardice must run in the family then, old man." With that said, I summoned all of the moisture that I had left in my dry mouth and throat and spat in the man's face.

Backing away wiping his face, the man called out, "Twenty Two!"

Over and over again the whip raped the skin on my back. Standing was now becoming difficult as my blood surrounded me. I tried to not freak out at seeing it like during my battle with the Uchiha; because I knew that any noise I made would only make everyone in the room happy.

My body began to shake uncontrollably and I fell to my knees. I leaned my head against the pillar that was holding my wrists in place.

Closing my eyes, I was surprised to see her eyes again. They had not abandoned me.

They were still there. They looked sympathetic and sad…they, felt sorry for me…

It looked like they were about to cry.

Confused at such a look, I walked towards them.

Blackness was all around me, I seemed to be walking on air. The echoes of the elder's voice counting "One Hundred! One Hundred and One!" surrounded me, but I didn't pay them any heed.

I just kept walking towards those eyes.

As I got closer, I noticed that it just wasn't her eyes, but the whole girl was there…and she was reaching for me.

I reached my arm out for her as well.

Then…she smiled at me.

I quickened my pace and was all but running at her, but suddenly I was falling.

She disappeared and I was left alone in the darkness and the cold.

I hit something solid. It felt like a stone floor with some kind of warm liquid covering it. But this warm liquid was quickly losing its heat and soon turned cold as I continued to lie there.

I heard something bang close. A door maybe?

I no longer heard counting…was my punishment over?

I didn't sense anyone around me.

I was in pain.

I was cold.

And I was alone once again.

I don't know how long I remained there. But the silence was soon interrupted by Temari's voice in the distance.

"Gaara!"

She was calling for me.

Soon Kankuro's voice joined hers.

They hadn't abandoned me. They were coming for me.

Their footsteps got closer and closer, and then they stopped and I heard Temari gasp.

"Oh my God Kankuro…there's…there's nothing left of his back…"

"What have they done to him…" Kankuro whispered angrily.

I felt as someone wrapped some sort of cloth around me and as strong arms lifted me up gently off of the freezing floor, holding my broken body against their form.

"We need to get him help…" was the last thing I heard before the darkness engulfed me completely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay I sped time up a lil' bit… to make things more convenient for me I made it so Tsunade is already Hokage and Sakura is now training to be a medic, they're still the same ages they were when the Chuunin exams were "finished", I just moved these events up is all.**

**And I had this amazing dream last night where I owned Naruto. But sadly it was just that…a dream.**

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* * *

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I felt like I was floating in a sea of nothingness.

The darkness surrounding me was blinding and the silence that engulfed me was so deafening I had to feel for my ears to make sure I still had them.

_Shukaku?!_ I called out into the emptiness.

Yellow irises suddenly appeared and a loud, _**What do you want boy?**_ echoed into infinity.

_What's going on?_

_**You passed out. You should be dead, but somehow you're still alive…**_

_I passed out?! _panic made its way up my spine. I know what happens when I lose consciousness, Shukaku takes over and begins to erode my psyche even more then he already has.

_What are you doing?! Are you killing everyone?! What's going on out there?!_

_**Relax boy! Your body is far too weak and destroyed for me to do anything with it. Believe me, I've already tried.**_

I took some comfort in that knowledge, at least he wasn't destroying my mind or the whole village. Then it hit me, my body was too destroyed for him to do anything…

_How bad is it?_ I asked him quietly.

I didn't get an answer, that meant it was bad.

_**Your siblings and Baki are running to Konohoa right now.**_

_WHAT?! Are they insane?! We'll be killed there!!!_

_**They were talking about a lady named Tsunade, they said that she could maybe heal you…They're almost there. There's forest all around us.**_

_**ÃÃÃÃÃÃ**_

The darkness faded and I heard voices all around me. A woman with a powerful voice was barking out orders to others that I assumed to be medics since they were told to fetch clean water, bandages, antiseptics, needles, and wire.

I was moving, but yet I wasn't walking and I was no longer being carried by anyone… I could only imagine the punishments that awaited Termari, Kankuro, and Baki as they stepped into Konohoa's gates. But somehow they had convinced them to look at me.

I was lying on something soft, a bed maybe? And I was being wheeled down a hall in what I imagined to be Konohoa's hospital since I could smell that horrible hospital smell all around me.

I didn't want to be here.

I wanted to run, to be free from everyone and everything. I wanted it to be just me and the demon inside of me living in the vastness of the desert, scratching out a living in the sand.

I forced my body and mind into full awareness. I tested my fingers and toes to see if they would move…they did.

I then tested my arms and legs by bending them slightly at the joints, they were a little stiff from the long period of inactivity, but they were still useable.

I moved to sit up, and that's when my body protested my actions.

A screaming pain shot through me as every nerve seemed to be set on fire. It was agonizing.

My eyes bulged and I heard someone screaming, it took a moment for me to realize that _I _was the one screaming.

"Gaara, you need to lay still." an older blonde woman said to me, forcing my shoulders back onto the bed.

I moved to fight her off, but my body was just too weak to even consider the movement for such an action.

I refused to be beaten though. I kept trying to sit up, gritting my teeth against the pain. I had to get out of there. The nurses would probably kill me in a hospital room by poisoning my food or medicine or maybe by smothering me in my weakened state

That was such a dishonorable way to die. I refused to die in such a way. I was meant to die fighting, by the hand of someone who was stronger then me and who deserved to kill me. Not by some petty and cowardly doctor who felt that snuffing my existence would somehow repair Konohoa in some way.

The blonde lady was now holding me down with extreme force; the pressure that she was applying to my shoulders was unbelievable. I was half expecting them to break.

"Sakura! Get the restraints!" I heard her order. Looking back down at me she sighed, "You've given me no other choice…" and with that she formed some sort of seal and hit me right in the middle of my forehead.

The darkness slowly crept up on me again, like a lion on its prey.

The last thing I remember is someone with a touch that sent electricity through my body gently slipping leather bands around my wrists and ankles…

When I once again regained consciousness, I tested my arms and legs again and found that this time I could not move them because I was tied to the bed. Laughing inwardly at their feeble attempt to keep me here, I called for my sand to break the bands…but nothing happened.

Again I called and again nothing happened.

_My gourd_, I thought, _shit. My idiot siblings must have left it in Suna…_

I knew that my body was weakened and that I was extremely low on chakra. The only chance I had to control any kind of sand right now was the sand that I carried around with me since it was already infused with chakra.

Swearing at my siblings once again for their incompetence, I closed my eyes and studied the current predicament that I was in:

Any kind of physical movement was nonexistent. And since I didn't have any sand I couldn't fight, kill, scare, or…defend.

I was a sitting duck for any attacker that saw fit to challenge or kill me.

_Dammit! How could they have been so stupid!?_

_**Maybe they did it on purpose…**_cooed Shukaku. _**After all, they do hate you. Did you really think that by apologizing to them after your fight and taking on their punishment would make them change their minds about you? Silly, stupid boy…they haven't changed. No one changes…they all want you dead and out of their lives…**_

_No…they're different now. Maybe before all of this happened they did but…Temari she…she tried to hug me. _

Pulling up the memory of Temari crying and reaching to embrace me brought a bombardment of confused emotions flooding over me. I could feel as my face crinkled in absolute confusion.

These feelings were soon extinguished by a more agonizing feeling, the wounds on my back. Out of nowhere my back spasmed and pain reverberated throughout my whole body.

I fought back the urge to scream, but one came out anyways.

The darkness was closing in on me again, and there were those damned green eyes again.

This was all their fault! They were the reason why I was in so much pain! They persuaded me to take all of the punishment…I wanted them to go away. I didn't want them to haunt me anymore…I wanted to…erase their existence.

"Go away…" I moaned at them, straining my arms in their restraints so that I could swat them away.

"Leave me alone…or I'll kill you!" I yelled this time, this was all too much for me to handle.

"Gaara, please lie still. You're only making it worse…here, this will help with the pain."

Suddenly a small warm hand was placed onto my chest and I could feel as this person's healing chakra pumped through my system and calmed my spasms.

The darkness immediately receded and I saw that the eyes that I was seeing weren't just my imagination, they were really there…the _girl_ was really there. And she had just helped me…

I stared at her because I couldn't believe she was there and that she had just _helped_ me…after all I had done to her. I had almost _killed _her and she was _helping _me?!

I grabbed my head as Shukaku roared and my emotions ran rampant through my mind…what was happening to me? No…what was happening to the _world_?!

Why was everyone being nice to me all of a sudden?!

This can't be right…it was a trick.

All of it.

All of it was just some ploy to get me to relax so that they could finally kill me.

That had to be it.

There was just no way that any of this was genuine…

I stared at the girl suspiciously as she said, "I can untie you if you promise to behave and not move around. Too much movement will cause your back to start bleeding again and it took Tsunade almost all of her chakra to just get it to stop bleeding. She had to give you stitches as well since she has to rest and recover until she can begin healing your cuts. So…do you promise to not move if I untie you?"

My stare at her got darker and darker…she was treating me like a child. I half expected her to threaten to ground me if I moved too much.

My not responding must have meant a yes to her because she nodded her head and started to untie my restraints.

Suddenly the room's door flew open and in walked the blonde woman I had seen earlier.

"Sakura! What are you doing?!" she demanded, walking over to my bed with a wide stride.

"Tsunade-sama," the girl bowed but never stopped untying the restraints, "Gaara-san is awake and he promised me that he would not move if I untied him. I thought he may be more comfortable if I…"

"He promised did he." the blonde lady that I now knew was Tsunade leaned over me and scanned my face. I could tell she hated me. And I couldn't really blame her. I had threatened to destroy her village, and if it hadn't had been for Uzumaki, I would have.

"Gaara." the woman started, "your sibling brought you here a few hours ago."

"Did you kill them?" I half-asked half-stated to the woman.

"No. But I did arrest them temporarily until I get to the bottom of this. Which is why, since you're awake, I'm going to ask you a few questions."

I held back a sigh. I wasn't in the talking mood right now, but this lady had not killed my siblings or myself on sight, so it was the least I could do to return the favor.

"Ask." I said.

Tsunade moved a chair over to the side of my bed, keeping a safe distance and sat down. The girl, Sakura, moved to leave the room but Tsunade stopped her, "Sakura, stay here. You need to hear this as well."

"Wh…why?" she stuttered. So she _was_ afraid of me after all, and all of the previous braveness had merely been an act…

"Why? Because, that way I have a backup in case I forget some information."

It was a horrible excuse. I silently wondered what her real motives were for keeping the girl in the room.

"Now…" Tsunade said, turning her full attention onto me once again, "from the beginning, what happened?"

I minced my words as much as I possibly could. I told her how Suna has a punishment for failed S missions, and that I was the reason why the mission failed so I took full responsibility. I then told her what my punishment was and ended it there.

I didn't tell her about my sudden attack of conscience, or what that conscience was, or that I was tricked into a more severe punishment…she didn't need to know.

The basics would be sufficient.

When I finished, Tsunade sat in her chair and absorbed my words. Nodding her head she said, "That will suffice. I will treat you, but know this: I am not at all pleased with Suna right now for obvious reasons so you had best walk lightly around me. The only reason why I don't turn you away is because it is against the code of honor that I took as a medic nin in that I will treat _all_ who need my help, and "all" includes you."

I stared at this lady.

Not only was she lecturing me, but she was also _threatening_ me.

Me.

Sabaku no Gaara, threatened by this woman.

I held back the maniacal laughter that was building up inside of my throat.

Tsunade left the room, leaving the pink haired one alone with me. Her hands were folded together and she was staring at the ground.

Then, she suddenly looked up at me and just stared with her eyes showing a whole array of emotions.

She was scared.

She was tired.

She was fighting the instinct to run after Tsunade.

And there was another emotion there that I couldn't quite place…was it…sympathy?

Did this girl feel _sorry_ for me?

Feeling sorry for someone meant that that person was weak. I was NOT weak.

I growled at her threatingly and snapped, "What are you looking at?!"

The girl jumped slightly as the harshness of my voice. My body may have been broken, but that does not mean I couldn't kill you. All they had to do was wait until my chakra was a little higher and then they would all…

My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps, _her_ footsteps.

She was coming towards me.

Her chin was set and her jaw was clenched. She gripped her hands tightly into fists and she was taking confident strides to my bed.

"Don't come near me…" I threatened "or I'll…"

"You'll what?" she said half-smiling "kill me? Been there…"

I didn't know how to respond to that. It was true, she HAD been held by my sand before and she was still alive…why couldn't I kill this girl?! It was clear that she had to die or I would become totally and completely insane…but still, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

But she was still advancing. I had to stop her.

"Do you like pain girl?" I asked "because if you take another step forward, it's what you'll experience…"

That stopped her. She stopped moving forward but she kept her gaze on me at all times.

"It's obvious that _you_ like pain." she said "otherwise you would have never agreed to such an outrageous punishment…"

Again I didn't know what to say. It was clear that this girl was extremely intelligent. I had to find a way to outwit her before she got too close to me. Her current spot was already making me uncomfortable, she was making my skin itch.

"Take another step and I _will_ kill you." I said never breaking contact with my eyes.

Looking me straight in the eyes, she lifted one of her eyebrows and took another step forward.

This girl was testing me, NO ONE tests me. All who test me and doubt my existence will…no…_must_ die.

I sat up then extending my palm to the girl and I watched as her face showed regret for her last action. But my back prevented me from doing anything; I felt as the stitches stretched in my skin and screamed for me to lie back down. A few of them popped open and I could feel as the blood began to come out again.

Before I knew it, she was by my bed pushing me down.

"Now look at what you've done." she reprimanded. "I have to re-stitch these now… roll over."

I just stared at her, my sweat was starting to come out of my pours again. I could feel the salty liquid ooze out.

"Do it, or I won't be gentle." she threatened again.

I may be physically weak right now, and I may not have enough chakra to do anything, but one thing I _did_ have was my stubbornness.

I looked away from her and crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to move.

I heard her give an exasperated sigh and then I felt her hands under my back.

To say that her hands there "hurt" would be a great understatement.

I forced myself not to cry out, but my body was shaking violently as she forcefully rolled me over onto my stomach.

"Now that wouldn't have had to happen if you weren't so damn stubborn!" she said.

I tried to control my shaking, but my body seemed to have a mind of its own. I thought it strange that Shukaku hadn't made an appearance yet…but then again my chakra levels were so low he was probably trying to refresh them.

My shaking must have caused her to feel pity for me once again because she was trying to calm me by running her fingers through my hair. But this didn't help in any way, it just made things worse. My shaking grew more violent and I squeezed my eyes shut.

When she saw this, she stopped her actions immediately and as a result, my shaking subsided.

"Are you afraid of me?" she asked quietly.

I couldn't help but let out a short laugh at this, "I'm not afraid of you." I stated simply.

"Then why do you shake when I try to soothe you?" she asked innocently.

"Why are you trying to soothe me?" I bit back "shouldn't you be stitching me up?"

That shut her up.

I heard her sigh once again and then I heard her open a drawer and pull something out.

I felt her fingers work the needle and string on my re-opened wounds. She was very gentle, despite all of her threats before hand.

Silence engulfed us as she worked, and my shaking stopped altogether. I stared out the window at the half-moon that had risen.

Before long, she was done.

"All done." she stated as she stood up. Again she rubbed her fingers against my scalp and I flinched away from her touch.

I could feel the confusion radiating off of her. Someone should inform this stupid girl that you don't touch me.

"What did they do to you?" she whispered to no one in particular. I hope she didn't expect me to answer that…because that question was way too broad for me to even begin answering.

When I didn't show any sign of responding, she gently secured a large bandage over my back and then moved to help me roll over once again.

"Wrap your arm around my shoulders and use me to roll yourself over."

Stupid, stupid girl.

I just looked at her like she was crazy.

Stubbornly I pushed myself up and rolled myself over.

She sighed once again and said under her breath, "Or you could be stubborn and do it yourself, whatever works for you."

I wanted her to leave. I didn't want her around me anymore. Her willingness to help me was bizarre to me. And change is one thing I do NOT handle well.

I watched as she collected the materials that she used and disposed of them.

She then walked out of the room closing and locking the door behind her.

I was alone once again.

I took comfort in this as I started out the window at the night sky, reflecting on all of the things that had occurred throughout the day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the reviews again! You guys are amazing…**

**And maybe I'll own Naruto…in my next life.**

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Fever seemed inevitable in my weakened state.

Within two days of my being in Konohoa, my body had been through enough torment to last a lifetime. From constant back spasms, to painful healing procedures performed by Tsunade, and now the constant changing from boiling hot to freezing cold that my body was going through was enough to drive me even crazier.

My social activities were limited to Tsunade, it seems I had scared that Sakura girl off after that night. _Serves her right_, I thought but I couldn't help but notice a strange tugging at my heart at her ever occurring absence.

_Stop it Shukaku,_ I stated firmly to the demon,_ I'm in enough pain, do not make things worse by messing with my insides._

_**That's not me boy…I'm in here trying to keep us alive.**_

_Then what's going on? What's this feeling?_

Silence greeted me.  
Figuring it was yet another side-effect of this healing thing that I was experiencing, I figured it would go away.

The clock's hand clicked to a new hour and I stared at it. It was only 11:00 PM, I still had an hour before Tsunade came in to look me over and change the bandages on my back.

Suddenly a wave of overwhelming heat rushed over my body. It was stronger then any desert heat that I've ever experienced. Immediately sweat broke out all over my body and the sheets underneath me soon became damp and no longer comfortable to lie in.

The only thing I could do was lie there and wait it out.

I jammed by eyes shut and clenched my jaw, judging from my recent past experience with fevers, my body would soon cool off to the point where I was freezing. So that's what I waited for.

But it never came, only another wave of heat overcame me and it was suddenly too much for me to handle.

I had to move.

I had to get out of that bed and cool off, otherwise I was going to roast from the inside out.

Bending my knees carefully, I winced as my joints creaked into action. I pulled myself up carefully using my arms to control my movements so that I didn't aggravate my back at all. I carefully swung my legs over the side of the bed and stepped down onto the concrete floor.

The coldness of the floor jolted my senses and it took a lot of control for me not to just lie down right there.  
I had to get to a window.  
I needed a cold night breeze. I knew from being here before that Konohoa's nights weren't anywhere near the nights in Suna as far as breeze and temperature went, but anything at that point would do to cool me off.

I slowly walked to the door to my room, again I cursed my idiotic siblings for leaving my gourd behind because the use of my third eye would be very helpful right now.

Instead, I had to take my chances and hope that no one was walking the hallways at this time of night.

Slowly opening the door, I found the hallways empty.

Turning right down the hallway, I walked in search of a window. I soon became agitated when I could not find one that provided me with the cooling breeze that I so desperately needed.

I could feel my body getting hotter and hotter. Cooling off was no longer a want, but a_ need_.

My search became more and more desperate, I was becoming frantic…in other words, I was losing control again.

I heard Shukaku laughing at me as he taunted, _**If I would have known that all it would take to have control was to give you a fever, I would have let those germs in a long time ago. It's too bad you're too weak for me to do anything though…at least I can still torment you mentally…**_

Suddenly my back spasmed again and the pain mixed in with Shukaku's maniacal laughter was too much for me to take at once, and I feel to my knees in the middle of the hallway.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, pulling at my hair. My back arched against my will and I forced back a scream.

The sweat rolled off of my body and made the floor slippery, making it impossible for me to crawl away.

Shukaku's laughter kept getting louder and louder, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I began pounding my head against the floor, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!" I yelled it over and over again, willing him to stop.

"GAARA!" I foreign voice spoke over the laughter that filled my head. "GAARA STOP IT!"

But the voice wasn't completely foreign…it wasn't Shukaku's, but I had heard it before.

Green eyes flashed briefly in front of me.

That's who the voice belonged to, that girl!

I tried crawling away from her, but I wasn't going anywhere, the floor and my skin were much to slick for any sort of friction needed for forward motion.

I felt her hands touch my arm.

"Oh my god, you're burning up…" I heard her state to herself.

Focusing on her touch, Shukaku's laughter died down to a soft chuckle. She was making him go away…

"I'll go get Tsunade." I heard her tell me.

She was leaving me. She was going to go away and Shukaku was going to attack me mentally again.

I grabbed at her red dress and caught a handful of fabric.

"Don't go." I choked out.

Her green eyes focused on me and something flashed across them, was it pity again?

I didn't care though…not then. She could pity me with every fiber in her body for all I cared, just as long as she didn't leave me alone with my demon at that moment.

"Alright, alright, relax," she said cupping the sides of my head. I winced away from her hands and she soon stopped trying to calm me and focused on the damages I had done to myself.

"Your head is bleeding…" she said taking the bottom of her outfit and wiping my forehead.

I just stared at her. I couldn't figure this girl out. She was just too…nice. Kindness just oozed from her being and it made me feel lightheaded and sick.

"Let's get you back to your room. I'll fix you up in there."

She bent over, offering herself as a crutch once again for me to lean on.

I knew there was no way that I was going to make it back to my room using my own power, so I reluctantly wrapped my arm around her shoulders and felt as both of our strengths lifted me off of the floor. Her arm was surprisingly strong and supportive as we made our way down the long hallway. The feel of her under my arm caused me to shake again…fortunately she just thought it was my fever and not the fact that I was so unused to such physical closeness.

With a lot of effort, I was once again back into the bed that I had so desperately wanted escape from but now found myself longing for.

"First things first," I heard her say "let's take care of this temperature." I felt as she pumped soothing cold chakra through my body and I stopped sweating almost immediately, leaving a thick layer of sticky salt all over my body.

"Okay, now for this head-wound you have here…why on earth were you slamming your head against the floor anyways?"

I continued to look at her, I didn't want to answer her question.

She should know why I was doing that…stupid girl.

I looked away from her and stared at the blank wall besides me.

"You don't talk much, do you?" she asked as her hand was placed on my forehead. I could feel my swollen and broken skin slowly heal.

I shifted my eyes so that I was looking at her once again.

"I don't engage in meaningless and brainless conversations." I stated coldly.

I felt the healing stop for a second as she looked at me. Her eyes went from soft to a more animalistic look, and I knew that this girl had a whole side to her that she rarely showed…but that I brought out.

And I liked it.

"I am not brainless and I am _NOT_ meaningless!" she yelled.

I had struck a nerve.

I smirked at her then, "That is yet to be proven."

Then she did something I never expected her to do…she slapped me.

The smack echoed in the room and my cheek stung slightly from the contact.

"You don't know _anything _about me or what I've been through!" she was becoming emotional now…it was annoying.

"Likewise" I responded, and she went silent immediately.

She re-placed her hand onto my forehead and continued to heal me.

"You're right." she said quietly, "we don't know anything about each other…so let's make a promise. Let's promise to try to understand each other so that we get along a little bit better, eh?"

This girl was unbelievable.

She pitied me.

She hated me.

She feared me.

She had just yelled at and slapped me.

And now she was trying to make a promise with me?!

It was official, this girl was crazier than me.

I snorted shortly at her offer, "I don't make promises."

"Well, why not?" she offered.

"Because people never keep them." I responded shortly.

"I know what you mean…" she whispered softly as her eyes grew distant.

I swore to Shukaku that if she started crying I would strangle her with my bare hands if I needed to.

But instead of tears, she looked at me with a wide smile and said, "How about this then: if I break my promise you can…um…hmmm…" I could see her trying to think of something that I would want from her.

She was wearing on my patience…

I was in the middle of rolling my eyes when I heard, "I know! If I don't keep my promise, you can kill me."

That caught my attention.

This girl was smart after-all…she had offered the one and only thing of hers that I wanted: her life.

I smirked evilly at her and she half-smiled at me, "but _you_ have to promise to stop ignoring my questions and giving me more than one-word answers."

I'm not sure if I liked this little promise…

"Or?" I prompted.

"or you have to…apologize to all the families and people you've hurt over the years."

The line that forms my mouth deepened to a drastic frown.

That task alone would take an eternity to accomplish…and that's besides the fact that I don't apologize to anyone.

"No." I said.

"My life's at stake here," she stated, "so you have to think of something drastic as well."

She was playing games with me.

To say I didn't appreciate it was an understatement.

"If I lose, I will leave and go out into the desert and no one will ever see me again."

I could see her thinking about it…little did she know that this "consequence" was only an incentive for me to _break _my promise.

"Deal" she said, and she stuck her hand out…apparently she wanted me to shake it.

I just looked at it.

Sighing again, I had a feeling I was going to hear her sigh a lot around me, she said, "First question: why don't you like to be touched?"

My eyes flashed dangerously at her. But this time, she didn't wince away. She kept her ground and waited patiently for my answer.

"Start with something smaller," I stated.

Biting her bottom lip as she thought of something to ask me, I shifted in my bed.

_What did I get myself into?_ I thought.

"How about this then," she cut of my train of thought, "why were you out of your bed?"

I could see that all of her questions were going to need a long explanation.

Trying to keep my patience with this prying girl, I went into my answer.

She stayed by me all night, calming my back spasms and cooling or warming my body up whenever my fever got out of control.

She helped the time pass by, and the long nights that usually plagued me while everyone else slept seemed a little less monotonous.

I decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to have this bizarre pink-haired girl around…at least until she broke her promise and I got to kill her of course.

After a few days, my fever was gone and my back no longer had any stitches in it, it was just red and swollen; it still hurt a lot and movement was still limited since the thin layer of newly formed tissue couldn't stretch like it should.

Life became a routine for me.

1:00 AM to 4:00 AM: Sakura would visit with me and keep me company at night

9:00 AM: breakfast

12:00 PM: Tsunade comes in to heal my back

1:00 PM: lunch

5:00 PM: dinner

12:00 AM: Tsunade returns to change the bandage on my back and to see if any of her healing had any effect. She often cursed under her breath at how slow the healing was taking.

"This is ridiculous, you should be healed by now…aren't you a demon container like Naruto? Shouldn't your healing be accelerated? That _plus_ my healing added, you should be out of here by now."

I looked away at her puzzling extremely annoyed. Normally I would be healed by now…or at least I thought. The only time I've ever been injured prior to this was when the Uchiha injured me, and that wound was almost healed by the time that Temari took care of it in the hospital. But I also knew that Shukaku wasn't helping me this time. He told me that if I was stupid enough to take on such a punishment then I deserved to suffer it without his aid.

"Shukaku is not helping heal me." I was surprised that I had just said that to the woman. In fact, I found myself answering a lot of people's questions lately…it started happening after Sakura started talking to me and visiting me every night. I didn't like this new habit that I had picked up. Apparently her loquaciousness was contagious…

"Well that would explain it then…but I don't know how much longer I can keep this healing up. I've been exhausted every day since I concentrate most of my energy onto you…" she sighed then and squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "If the village begins to suffer, then I will have to stop healing you."

"Understood." I said, I was actually surprised that she hadn't stop healing me already.

I kept glancing at the clock… I had to get this woman out of the room before Sakura came in. I didn't want Tsunade to know that every night Sakura visited me because she might get the wrong idea. She might think that we were somehow romantically involved instead of me waiting for her to slip up so that I could kill her.

I heard the clock's hand click to a new hour and I almost visibly winced, Sakura was always on time. Never had she been late, and true to her form, as soon as the clock clicked to 1:00 AM, I heard the door open and her step inside.

"Oh, Tsunade…" I heard her say a little surprised, "what are you still doing here? Is everything okay?"

I looked up at the blonde woman who wore an expression of both surprise and also a small smirk graced her lips.

I knew she was planning something, and I knew I wasn't going to like it at all…

"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Tsunade asked in a sweet voice, much too innocent for the look that she had on her face.

"Well…" Sakura started, "I visit Gaara every night since he doesn't sleep and all, and I figured he would like some company to help pass the time."

This time I visibly winced. How can one girl go from being intelligent to being the dumbest person in the world?

"Is that so…" I heard Tsunade respond. I could actually see the wheels in her head plotting against me. "Well this is convenient since I was just telling Gaara that I could no longer heal him."

I looked at the lady who was now lying to her student…she never said that she was going to stop healing me, just that if the village started to suffer she would…what was she doing…

"And I thought that I was the only one that Gaara would let heal because, well, the boy has serious trust issues…"

I hissed at her. What was it with Konohoa and playing games? I had a strong urge to kill the woman…no one insults me, especially right to my face.

"But now that I know that he lets you near him, I'll have you take over the healing for me."

So that's what she was planning. That sneaky old bitch…

"You…you want _me_ to heal him?" I heard Sakura stutter in surprise.

"That's what I said," Tsunade stated matter-of-factly. "It will be a good case for you to learn on. I will be here to help guide you through the first healing, but from then on, you're on your own."

The woman left no room for discussion. She promptly left the room leaving one stunned Sakura and one extremely pissed off me.

How _dare_ she just hand me off like I was just this object. I understood that I was unwanted, but now she handed me to this amateur who didn't know anything and now I was probably going to be crippled for the rest of my life due to her lack of experience.

_Shukaku…help!_ I yelled. I was only greeted by laughter.

_**It serves you right boy. I told you not to let her near you and forget all about her. But you wouldn't. And now you have to deal with the problem you created for yourself.**_

I scowled openly. I didn't like the way things were happening, I wasn't in control of the situation and that could only mean that it will lead to hurt and betrayal…just like when I wasn't in control of Yashumaru…

"If you don't want me to heal you, you just have to say so…" I heard a voice say.

I looked over to my right and noticed that Sakura was now standing next to my bed, apparently she thought the scowl that I had was just for her.

Instead of relaxing my face and putting the girl at ease, I turned on her.

"Why are you doing this?! Why can't you just leave me alone like everyone else!? This is all your fault! I should just leave now so that you don't mess my back up more than it already is and take my chances on self-healing!"

That wild look returned to her eyes and I knew that she wasn't going down without a fight…this excited me…fighting is what I live for.

"This is NOT my fault. If you hadn't had taken on all the punishment for your country then you wouldn't be lying there like a dead dog! And if you want to leave, go right ahead! The door is right there, no one is keeping you here! And I won't leave you alone because…"

She stopped suddenly and stared at the ground.

I kept staring at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence. _…because you're a killer, …because you can't be trusted, …because you're a monster_

That's what I was expecting her to say, but she couldn't get it out for some reason.

She looked at me again, but her eyes weren't wild anymore, they were sad and pitiful.

"because you're so lonely."

She had finished her sentence, and for once I didn't have a come-back to throw at her. If she had chosen to say anything else, I could easily counter her attack, but that statement…I had nothing.

I looked away from her then, "I am not lonely."

I heard her shuffle closer to the bed and sit down on the edge of it. Her closeness was making me nervous.

"I read your file," she whispered and my head snapped back to face her "Tsunade put me in charge of your medical history…and when she dropped your file into my hands, it was the thickest file I had ever seen. I only now finished reading it. It told me everything, how the demon was sealed inside of you, how your mother died, how your father turned you into some big experiment and isolated you, and then all the records of what you did every minute of everyday up to age six…what activities you did, what you ate, what training you were put through, what you played with…it was obvious that you were shunned by everyone. But then, the records just stop. On January 19th, the day that you turned six, they just stop, and then there's nothing else on you…why?"

Damn this girl. I never knew that I had a medical file…although I wasn't surprised by that fact either.

She was waiting for an answer…that stupid promise we had made each other came back to mind.

I wondered if now was the right time to break my promise and disappear forever. But when I looked at the expression she had on her face, I felt that I had to answer. This girl now knew almost everything about me and why I'm the way I am today…besides, maybe if I told her the truth about why the records stopped she would become disgusted and leave me alone for good…

"They stop there because the man who was taking those records was killed." I baited her.

"Who was he? And how did he die?" she took the bait; hook, line, and sinker.

"He was my uncle, and I killed him by crushing him with my sand and blessing Suna with a shower of his blood."

My plan didn't work, in fact, it had backfired on me. She wasn't running away in fear or disgust, she was scooting closer to me on the bed AND she was asking more questions.

"Why did you kill him."

I was infuriated at her, why didn't she run like everyone else?! I just wanted her to leave me alone…

"I killed him because my father ordered him to have me assassinated, and my uncle had always hated me, so he eagerly accepted the order. When his attempt failed, I killed him."

"But…the records show that he took care of you. He took you for walks and fed you and interacted with you, he gave you everything a child could ask for…how can someone who does that hate the person he's doing it for?"

"Because I killed his sister. My mother unwillingly gave her life up and I became a curse for the village and for my family. He may have done all those things for me, but he never once touched me or comforted me…but he told me he loved me. Only I found out what "love" really meant the night I killed him."

"So that's why…" Sakura said slouching. "That's why you don't trust people and why you don't like to be touched…because everyone you know has betrayed you and no one has ever reached out to help you…"

I looked away from her. This conversation was going nowhere, I shouldn't have answered her stupid little questions.

"no one has ever reached out to you…until now."

I froze.

What did she mean by that?

Before I could stop her, I felt her arms snake around my neck as she gently pulled me into a hug.

I couldn't move. My body was frozen and my eyes were wide. What was this girl thinking?!

I tried to push her off of me, but she only grabbed on tighter. "It's okay," she whispered into my ears and her breath brushed against the side of my face and my body started shaking again.

"Let go." I said quietly. I didn't need this, I had been through enough punishment, I didn't need this girl playing stupid little touching games with me.

When she didn't loosen her grip, I stated more firmly, "Let GO."

Still no response. This girl was stubborn.

The shaking only increased as my impatience mixed in with the shock of feeling someone holding me.

"I said LET GO!" and this time I used all of the chakra that I had slowly been recovering to take the dirt out of the plant pot that was in the corner of the room and used it to pull her away from me.

I pushed her off of the bed and was hoping to drop her onto the ground to get my message across, but the girl was quick and she landed gracefully on her feet.

I stared at her dangerously, I was breathing heavily… that took more effort then I thought it would.

"Never…do that again." I said as threatingly as I could. The dirt hit the ground, I didn't have the strength to put it back. "or…"

She chuckled slightly at this, "or you'll kill me, I know, I know."

She thought this was amusing!

Apparently death threats no longer worked on her…so I switched tactics. "No, but I'll make you _wish_ you were dead."

That one caught her attention. She was no longer smirking at me. Now I was the one smirking at her.

"You're impossible." she said, crossing her arms. "Why can't you just trust me?"

"I only trust myself." I stated simply.

A smile crossed her face when she said, "You say you don't need anyone, but that night when I found you in the hallway you didn't want me to leave you…why is that?"

She had trapped me. I couldn't tell her the truth, because it would only give her more incentive to stick around. I had to make something up and quick…

She walked closer to the bed and leaned in and whispered into my ear, "See? You are lonely".

And with that, she smiled at me and walked out of the room.

I cursed under my breath. This girl was going to be the death of me. Apparently she had taken on fixing my "issues" as part of the healing of my back.

"Baka…" I hissed at her as I stared at my open palms.

_**Remember boy…don't trust anyone. I'm the only one whom you can trust… **_

_I know…what are we going to do about our new "situation"?_

_**We'll let her get close to us, then we'll attack her when her guard is down and crush her completely. We'll rip her soul to pieces and she'll be so emotionally broken that she will only remain because her body is still alive, but she will be dead inside.**_

I smirked at this.

Shukaku had a way of always cheering me up.

I stared out the window once again as Shukaku filled my head with promises of torture and pain for the pink-haired witch that thought she could fix me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks and thanks and THANKS for everyone's reviews and support!  
to Kunoichi no Gaara and BlackKanki: thanks for pointing that stuff out... i would have never noticed unless you guys said something about it...oops, heh heh, i'll try not to let that happen in the future. If there's anything else, please let me know. **

**:-)**

**still don't own Naruto... **

* * *

Time seemed to skip from 4 AM immediately to noon.

I tried to think of a way to get away from Tsunade and Sakura…but I was cornered.

I hissed at the two woman when they entered the room and I watched as Sakura visibly became agitated with me and that evil Tsunade woman just smirked at me. She was planning something, and I had to find out what it was so that I could stop it from happening.

"Now Gaara, relax. Everything is going to go just as it always has, only Sakura will be the sole person in charge of you…"

I hissed again.

Maybe if I kept this up, Tsunade would forget about everything and just decide to let me leave.

But instead I heard a calm yet agitated voice say, "Tsunade-sama, could you excuse us for a minute?"

I glared hard at the girl. I swore by the time I left this hospital, she would crumble at my feet.

Tsunade looked at Sakura, then she looked at me and smirked once again, the she exited the room closing the door firmly behind her.

My eyes returned to the girl as she stomped her way over to my bed.

"What is your problem?" she started "why are you acting like this?"

I looked at her with mild amusement, this girl likes a good verbal war…

"My problem is obvious." I stated shortly crossing my arms over my chest.

"Oh yeah? And what's that? You're a stubborn ass who feels sorry for himself, so he pushes everyone who tries to help him away?"

Wrong thing to say.

The dirt that was replaced into the pot after I first used it slithered out and snuck up on the girl from behind.

"I do NOT pity myself." I stated shortly as the dirt wrapped around her arms. "I wonder how well you'll be able to heal me when you're hands are crushed?" I smirked at her.

But surprisingly, she didn't show any fear. Not a single glimpse of fear showed through anywhere...not even her eyes.

"There you go again. Making empty threats at someone who is trying to help you and trying to be your friend. Are you intimidated by me? Is that why you always threaten to kill or maim me?"

DEFINITELY the wrong thing to say.

My eyes narrowed at the girl and I growled loudly.

"What? You don't have an answer? Does that mean I'm right and you're just too afraid to admit it?"

Anger and rage overwhelmed my body and surprising both the girl and myself, I jumped out of the bed and before she knew what had happened, my hand was around her throat and I lifted her off of the ground. My back screamed in protest as the new skin stretched to its limits.

"First:" I stated, "I am NOT afraid or intimidated by you. Second: I do NOT feel sorry for myself, only for weaklings like you who don't even deserve death. Thirdly: my problem is YOU."

The girl was trying to hold back her fear, but that didn't stop as her nails dug at my fingers, trying to force them off of her windpipe.

"Why…am…I…the…problem?" she rasped out.

I squeezed tighter so that she could no longer talk. Her nails dug harder at my fingers and I could see the scratches that she was leaving behind.

"You're the problem because…"

And I stopped there. Why was she the problem? Was it because she was questioning my whole existence? Was it because she stood up to me and all who stand against me must die? Was it because she unquestioningly touched me without so much as a second thought? Or was it because she was too damn caring?!

"because…"

Which was it? I had to think of something fast, I looked up at the girl's eyes and they were begging me for air.

Sighing, I dropped her. She hit the ground with a soft thud and she grabbed her throat and stared at me.

I walked over to my bed and climbed back into it.

She sat on the ground staring at me for a while, she only got up when Tsunade entered the room again. She stared at Sakura on the floor and then looked at me dangerously.

"What happened here?!" she demanded sharply.

"It's okay Tsunade," Sakura responded, "I slipped."

Tsunade looked at her student for a while with a calculating stare. "Very well then." she said dismissing the whole matter, "let's begin then."

Much to my surprise, Sakura was a lot like Tsunade when it came to healing, she was a little rough around the edges, but she was still very good…not like I'd tell her though.

When she first started healing me, her hands made more contact with my skin then Tsunade's usually did, which as a result caused me to shake. But over time, I grew use to her touch and the shaking dulled to a slight tremor.

I found myself in position and waiting to be healed before Sakura even got into the room. Sometimes I would find myself staring at the clock as I laid on my stomach waiting for it to hit noon…her touch became a source of loathing for me. But yet, as much as I hated this girl, I almost craved her hands to roam over my skin and heal my tattered back. I knew that the skin was growing thicker and I heard her mention something about me about ready for visitors since the threat of infection from my open wounds was almost gone. I huffed at that though, no one would want to visit me.

One overly bright morning, Sakura came to my room early. I watched her approach my bed with a smile plastered onto her face.

"Good morning." she said cheerfully. Bile rose up my throat when she said that.

"Let's take a look at that back of yours…" she said as I rolled over and she gently pulled the bandage away from my skin.

"Wow, this is really healing well. Of course you're going to have scars, but you should be able to perform the tasks that you could prior to this…punishment." she added the last word with a hint of sadness in her voice and my eye twitched.

"You can even carry around that gourd of yours without a problem." she added cheerfully.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Your ever present optimism disgusts me."

"And your constant sulking annoys me." she responded quickly and stuck her tongue out.

How did it come to this? She should have been dead by now…the smell of her blood should have long since mingled with the others in my sand. But yet, there she was, standing right in front of me, smiling.

I only rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh come on," she teased "I know you have an inner child within you somewhere…"

I just stared at her.

Throwing her arms up she continued, "_Everyone_ has an inner child! Even the most serious person in the world! I just have to find it in you…"

I responded quickly, annoyed with her antics, "_You_ will not be finding anything. Just heal me so that I can leave this damn city."

The look that crossed her face was one of hurt and confusion.

"Oh..okay. You're right, I'm sorry…"

And with that said, she started healing my back.

Something tugged at my heart again from the look on her face. But it didn't make me feel good, it made my stomach drop and my heart clench.

I shifted slightly in my bed hoping that if I changed positions, the feeling would go away. It didn't, the only thing that I had succeeded in doing was putting my hair into my face. I quickly got annoyed at it since I couldn't move my arms, otherwise Sakura's work would be disrupted, but it was tickling my nose…I scrunched my nose up trying to move the hair away, but it only made more hair fall into my face.

I heard Sakura giggle as she stopped her healing and moved the hair out of my eyes by brushing it back for me.

Her hand lingered around my ear and she smiled thoughtfully, "You're not flinching away or shaking anymore…"

She was right…I wasn't.

What did that mean? Had I gotten use to the girl and not known about it? Shukaku didn't even tell me to kill her anymore…what did that mean? This had never happened to me before…

I diverted my eyes from her and reverted to staring at the floor, but she continued to rub her fingers through my hair.

I didn't like this…it was making me uncomfortable.

"Stop." I said and immediately her hand stopped moving and she left it fall to her side.

"Why?" she asked innocently.

I knew she wanted a real answer…but instead I just said, "because I asked you to."

Sighing and returning her attention back to healing, I decided to do something I've never done before…I started a conversation with someone.

"Why are you here early?"

She looked at me, obviously surprised that I had asked her a question. But a smile soon played on her lips as she said, "It's a surprise."

Annoyance was plastered on my face again, "I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one…" she said as she continued to smile.

I decided to keep asking her questions, after all, she made me answer her dumb ones all the time.

"Why do you do that all the time?" I asked.

She stopped healing and looked at me confused, "Do what?" she asked.

"That." I said as I pointed at her mouth.

She tilted her head to the side and asked, "Why do I smile?"

I nodded. I rolled over onto my side so that I could more fully see her. I wanted to get to the bottom of all this nonsense.

"I smile because…well, because I'm happy." she shrugged.

"But you do it all the time. Are you _always _happy?"

Her gaze dropped to the floor and her eyes became distant, "No…I'm not always happy."

"So then you're lying about your feelings. You're a liar, just like I said."

"I am NOT a liar." she bit back "I always smile when I'm happy…you just aren't around when I'm not happy is all."

"So you're always happy around me." I half-stated, half-asked.

A blush caused her pale skin to turn pink, "Yes." she responded shortly, staring at her hands that were now in her lap.

I looked around the room, looking for the source of her happiness. I only saw blank white walls, a light gray concrete floor and the plant in the corner of the room.

"What makes you so happy? All I see is a dull room that contains no source of amusement."

She looked up at me then seemingly surprised at my statement, "The source of my happiness?" she asked shyly.

I nodded.

"Well…" she started, "the source of my happiness is…"

Suddenly my room's door flew open and hit the wall with a loud bang.

There in the doorway stood Temari with Kankuro right behind her. I looked at Sakura questioningly.

"Surprise…" she said as she half-smiled and shrugged.

I just stared at my siblings.

Were they really there? Or was Shukaku playing tricks on my mind again…Did I really have visitors?

"Gaara!" Temari said as she rushed to the bed and grabbed my head and pulled it into an embrace.

I froze.

Not only did I have visitors, they were happy to see me…

I heard Sakura laugh at the expression on my face.

"I'll leave you three alone to catch up then." she said as she bowed to us and turned to walk out of the door.

"Sakura," I heard Temari say as she continued to hold my head in a death grip. "Are you sure it's okay if we visit with him now?"

Sakura nodded professionally and answered, "Yes. His back is almost healed up so the risk of infection is now very minimal, so you guys can visit whenever you want…just as long as you don't get in the way of his healing of course." she added with a wink.

"Thank you." I heard Temari say and I watched as Sakura turned around once again and left the room.

Something inside me didn't want her to go…she had never answered my question.

My thoughts on the pink haired girl were interrupted my Temari's numerous questions.

"How have they been treating you? You're so skinny, have they been feeding you regularly? How is your back feeling?"

Finally, Kankuro covered Temari's mouth with his hand and simply said, "In other words, we've missed you."

I stared at them wide-eyed. They _what_?

I watched as Temari forcefully pushed Kankuro away and added, "We were so worried about you. All that Tsunade would tell us is that you were improving. We had no idea how you were doing…" she trailed off as her voice cracked.

What the hell was going on? Were these fakes? Were there people posing to be my siblings because they thought it would make me feel better? That had to be it…there was no way that these two imposters were my siblings.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

The two of them stared at me questioningly.

"What are you talking about Gaara? We're your siblings…remember? Temari and Kankuro?"

"You're not them." I stated matter-of-factly and crossed my arms once again.

"What makes you say that?" my "sister" asked.

"Simple. There's no way that my siblings would show any sort of emotion such as 'worry' for me. If you're going to impersonate someone, get it right so it's at least some sort of a challenge for me to figure it out."

I glared at them as they both looked at each other and sighed…

"Gaara…" Temari started but Kankuro cut her off. "Look Gaara," he started "we've been talking a lot about things and we've realized that how we've treated you in the past was…well…wrong. And we wanted to make it up to you."

I still didn't believe them. This sounded way too scripted.

"Prove you're my siblings." I stated shortly.

Again they looked at each other and Temari stepped forward pulling down her shirt slightly from her shoulder, revealing a slight scar there. "This is from when you were little and I tried to take your teddy bear away from you. Remember? You got so upset with me that you threw me out of the room using your sand and my shoulder hit the corner of a table that was in the hallway…"

I did remember that. Maybe she was my sister…

Kankuro stepped forward then and rolled up the sleeve on his right arm showing me many scars that snaked their way up his arm. "This is from the time when we were sparring and you…er…_we_ got carried away and you almost crushed my arm with your sand. Baki rushed in and stopped the fight before we both killed each other."

I remembered that also...but there was something wrong with his story...  
"If I remember correctly…" I cut in, "_you_ were the one that was about to be killed, not me."

Kankuro chuckled at this and scratched the back of his head, "yeah well…I think this hospital has gone to your head and caused your recollection to become a little fuzzy…"

"So…you believe us now?" Temari asked timidly.

I looked at them both and nodded once.  
"But go back to how you were before." I said, "I don't like the new you."

Temari smiled, "You'll get used to it."

My siblings stayed with me for the rest of the day. We talked about what had been happening to us since we were separated upon entering Konaha. I found out that Tsunade had provided them with a room in the main Hokage building and only kept them imprisoned for a few days. Baki had returned to Suna a few weeks ago, saying that he would calm the storm down before we returned.

I told them in short sentences how my healing was going. I didn't mention anything about Sakura or the promise we had made to each other or the alien feelings that she was causing inside of my body.

When the sun set, a nurse that I had never seen before poked her head into my room and informed us that visiting hours were over, and that they could come back tomorrow morning.

Sighing, my siblings said goodbye and promised to be there first thing in the morning. In fact, they promised me that they would be there everyday from the beginning of visiting hours until they kicked them out.

I nodded. I half-trusted their promise…maybe people kept some promises after all. Sakura hadn't broken hers yet…

When they were gone, Sakura entered my room again.  
"Were you surprised?" she asked.

I only stared at her. I was too overwhelmed with all of these new things to respond to anything. It was strange, now that both of our parents were gone, we were closer to a family than we had ever been.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

I shook my head no.

"Alright then, good night Gaara." she said and started to exit the room.

"You never answered my question." I said.

She stopped halfway out of the room and looked back at me, "You never answered mine."

I looked at her in confusion. She smiled slightly and then exited the room.

I racked my brain for the question that I had left unanswered… I couldn't think of any.

I had answered all of her stupid little questions with as much accuracy as I cared to answer with…then it hit me. _Why am I the problem? _her raspy voice echoed off the walls inside my head.

She was right… I never answered that question.

Laying down once again, I thought about why I never answered her…and the answer was simple: because I didn't know _why_.

I had a feeling that Shukaku's plan to emotionally destroy the girl wasn't going to work… partly because I could sense a sadness within her already and also because…I didn't think I wanted to anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**-mortified-  
Kunoichi Sabaku no Gaara... i am _so_ sorry. looks like i went from spelling one thing wrong to another...  
-slaps self in head-  
again i apologize.**

**to everyone else (i would mention everyone's name, but there's just too many to do so) thank you all so very very much. i'm glad you're all enjoying this story so far..**

* * *

After months of painful healing, it was time for me to return to Suna. 

Sakura came into my room early again one morning and I moaned, "You have _another _surprise for me?"

She just laughed and shook her head, "Yes I do, but you'll like this one."

"Is that a promise?" I asked baiting her.

"No," she said as she looked over my back seeing if there was anymore spots that needed some healing, "that's a guarantee." Suddenly my view of the floor was blocked by papers that she was holding in front of my face. "Discharge papers," she informed me "you're going home."

I sat up and grabbed the papers making sure they were real. They were.

I was going home. I was finally out of this damn hospital and could return to the desert and Suna.

_**We finally get to go back and take revenge on those old bastards that put us here in the first place! **_Shukaku roared.

If I smiled, I would have done it then; but instead, a small smirk is what my lips decided to do.

"You're happy then?" I heard Sakura ask me.

I stopped looking at the papers and looked up at the girl confused.

"You're smiling." she said as she put her finger to the corner of my mouth.

I shook my head 'no' partly so that I could answer her question but mostly because I wanted her finger off of my lips.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because," I said tossing the papers onto the bed "No one wants me in Suna. That's why Baki went back, in case I _did_ survive they wouldn't kill me on the spot when I entered the city once again."

"Oh…" she said quietly, she was clearly trying to find a way to make things better. "But I thought no one could kill you? Aren't you untouchable?"

"Clearly I'm not." I said motioning to my back. She was regressing back to being stupid again.

"But that's different. You did that willingly, if they tried to hurt you or kill you without your permission, they wouldn't be able to succeed…right? I mean, how can you possibly kill someone with a demon inside of them…"

I let out a short breath which could have been mistaken as a sigh, "All they would have to do is wear my chakra levels down until I could no longer fight back and then perform a ritual that removes Shukaku from my body. Remove Shukaku and you kill me."

I paused and my eyes widened. I had just told this girl how to kill me.

I looked up at her expecting to see her face glowing with glee because she had finally gotten what she had been working so long and hard for…but instead a sad and confused look was there.

"Oh…" she said. "Well…then stay here in Konaha."

"No." I stated shortly, I had to watch what I said from now on…this girl had an ability to get information that I shouldn't be telling anyone out of me.

"Why not?" she prompted once again.

I rolled my eyes at her constant questions, "Do you ever stop asking questions?" I asked sharply.

She just smiled and shook her head 'no'. "Why not?" she asked again.

I let out another breath, which was definitely a sigh and answered her stupid little question, "Because it's too…enclosed here. I need the openess of the desert. Besides, no one wants me here either. So why would I stay?"

"But you want to go back to Suna, and you said that no one wants you there either…so what makes the Suna people not wanting you better then the Konaha people not wanting you?"

"Because it's my home. It's where I belong." I stated sharply.

"What if there were some people that wanted you to stay here?" she asked raising her eyebrow.

I snorted at her, "Oh really…and who would they be?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

"Well…" she said, she was blushing again… "What if the person who wants you to stay here is…"

My siblings have impeccable timing, since once again they had disrupted her answer. Sakura stopped immediately as she heard the door slam open once again. I looked at the wall where my siblings were constantly banging the doorknob onto, it now had a hole in it…

"Have you told him?" Temari said excitedly.

Sakura nodded at her and smiled.

"Well let's see!" Temari said excitedly to me. I looked at her confused.

"Let's see your back." she clarified "I want to see how good of a job they did."

"They did a good job. My back is fine." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Well let's see!" Temari said again.

"No."

"Why not?!" she almost screamed. I only stared at her.

"Oh come one Gaara," she said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me off of the bed and spun me around. I was shocked at her actions. Before I knew it, I was no longer facing my siblings and Sakura, but I was now facing a blank white wall and the bed that I was just sitting on. My eyes widened at my sister's actions and was too shocked to react right away.

"Wow…this is amazing! You really did a nice job Sakura… Kankuro! Look at this!"

I could feel as her fingers went over the sensitive scars on my back.

Beyond agitated, I turned around and slapped her hand away.

Temari was shocked and her face displayed it.

I just glared at her.

"It's okay Temari, he's just probably upset about the party later is all…" I heard Kankuro say.

My glare deepened, "What party?" I asked dangerously.

"You didn't tell him?" Kankuro asked Sakura.

Sakura hung her head and shook her head 'no'. I was about to tell him about that part but you guys burst in the room before I had the chance.

The intensity of my glare grew and I stared right at Sakura who was having a hard time looking at me, "What…Party." I asked seething.

"You're farewell and we're-glad-you're-healed party…" she said timidly.

"Absolutely not." I stated to all three persons in the room.

"Oh come on Gaara, it will be fun! Just imagine, a party…held in your honor!"

"I said no." I was visibly becoming more and more agitated as they told me about this little party that they all had planned.

"Oh Gaara, quit being like that. When's the last time you went to a party?"

I diverted my eyes back down to the floor so that I wouldn't have to look at anyone again.

"That was probably when he was still little…" Kankuro said trying to prompt his memory. "It wasn't his birthday since we've never celebrated that…"

My grip tightened on the bed frame.

"Oh I know! It was the Summer Festival back when he was five!"

My grip was bending the bed frame and Sakura must have noticed because she walked over and put her hand over mine to calm me down. Much to my surprise and greater agitation, it worked. My grip loosened as I heard my siblings reminiscing.

"Oh I remember that!" Temari added in excitedly "he was running around and dancing and singing along with everyone! I don't think I've ever seen him that happy before… You see Gaara, you DO like part…"

Temari cut herself off as she returned her attention back to me and noticed that Sakura was touching my hand.

My glare returned to my sister and I asked shortly, "What?"

Temari looked at Kankuro who's jaw was visibly open and then back at me.

"N…nothing." she said and smirked at me. "Just come to the party Gaara, it's not very big, only a few people were invited. And it's the least that we can do since they did heal you after what we did to their country…"

Leave it to my sister to remind me of that.

I rolled my eyes again and looked at Sakura asking, "How big is it?"

She smiled slightly at me and removed her hand from my hand when she said, "It's just Temari, Kankuro, myself, Naruto, and Tsunade…and you of course."

I was hoping she wasn't going to include me in that list because then I could tell everyone that I wasn't invited…but she was too quick.

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff.

"Is that a yes?" Temari asked.

"Hn." was the only answer she got, but she started jumping up and down excitedly.

"Here then." she said happily as she pulled a box out from under her arm, I hadn't noticed it there…I was too busy glaring at her face to notice some stupid box.

"What is it?" I asked as she handed me the box.

"I can't tell you. You have to _open_ it." she said "It's a present."

I just looked at the box in my hands.

I had never gotten a present before… I didn't know what to do with it, so I just stared at it.

"It's nothing life-threatening, Gaara. Just open it." Temari said agitatedly.

I slowly lifted the top off of the box and cloth was all that I saw.

"Pull it out!" Temari said excitedly.

I set the box onto the bed and picked up the cloth that was inside. A new ninja outfit unraveled before me and I was shocked…how had Temari gotten a Suna outfit in Konaha?

"Do you like it?!" she asked, excitement still evident in her voice, "I figured you would need new clothes since your old ones are all ripped up. So I bought some fabric and made you a new outfit while we were waiting for Tsunade to give us the 'okay' to come and visit you."

I continued to stare at the clothes. I didn't know what to say…Thank you? No…that didn't sound right.

So I lowered my new outfit so that I could once again see my sister and said, "You sewed?"

Temari put her hands on her hips and smirked at me, "You're welcome." she said.

"Now put it on and let's get out of here!" she said.

I continued to stare at my sister who had clearly lost her mind.

When I didn't move to get dressed Temari quickly grew agitated.

Kankuro grabbed her arm and dragged her out into the hall with him. "He needs privacy in order to get dressed Temari…" I heard him say to her.

When the door was closed behind them, I remembered that Sakura was still in the room.

"It's a really nice outfit." she said as she touched the fabric gently.

I nodded slightly.

"I'll let you get dressed now." she said and walked towards the door.

"That's two questions that you haven't answered yet." I said.

Turning around she responded, "Well, that makes us even then doesn't it."

I tilted my head curiously at her. "There's only one that I haven't answered." I said as I searched my memory for any kind of clue as to what she was talking about.

She laughed slightly at me and folder her arms in front of her, "The night when I found you in the hallway, I asked you why you didn't want me to go when I told you that I was going to get Tsunade…remember? You never answered it."

She had me.

I hadn't answered that question either…

I looked at her again and she was smiling at me. "I'll see you at the party." she said and then walked out of the door.

This "party" that everyone was talking about was at this little ramen stand that Naruto insisted we go to.

When Temari saw me in the clothes that she had made for me, she gave an excited squeal and proceeded to tell everyone that she had made them for me.

I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms once again, determined not to unfold them for the rest of the night.

"GAARA!" I heard a familiar and obnoxious voice unnecessarily yell. Before I knew it, I was pummeled by Naruto who was squeezing me so hard around the waste and lifting me off of the ground.  
A small gasp escaped my lips before I could stifle it. My body automatically stiffened and I knew that if I had my sand, this Naruto kid would have been dead.

"Naruto!" I heard Sakura scold him, "be careful! He's not 100 healed yet…he's still a little sore!"

"Oh…sorry Sakura-chan." he said as he once again placed me onto the ground. "It's good seeing you though Gaara! But it's weird seeing you without your gourd…where is it?" Naruto asked as he began looking all around him.

This boy amazed me. Apparently he had forgotten completely about our fight and now considered me to be one of his friends…

I rolled my eyes at his behavior and said, "_someone_ left it in Suna." I glared at my siblings who had now suddenly found their ramen bowls more interesting then anything else going on.

"Here Gaara, try some ramen! It's the best!" Naruto said excitedly, handing me a bowl of slop.

I grimaced at it. I was expected to eat _this_?

I took my bowl and sat down in the last seat at the end of the stand, Sakura was sitting right next to me contently eating her bowl of ramen.

"Try it." she said "You might like it."

I looked at her and then back at the bowl. I picked up my chopsticks and picked out some noodles. Cautiously placing them in my mouth, I had to force myself not to gag and bring them back up.

I heard Sakura chuckle quietly at my behavior. "Don't like it, huh?" she said.

I shook my head side to side as I stared at the abomination that the Leaf villagers called "food" in front of me. Sakura grabbed my bowl and poured some into hers. It now looked like I had eaten some and that we had both not been able to finish our bowls.

She winked at me.  
I didn't get it. I was no longer her patient and she was no longer in charge of me…so why was she still being nice to me?

About an hour later, Tsunade asked if Temari and Kankuro could return with her to her office so that she could discuss the final preparations for my full discharge from the hospital. They both nodded politely and patted me on my shoulders as they walked after the blonde woman.

It was just Sakura, Naruto, and myself now.

Naruto, who had clearly eaten too much ramen since he had finished off Sakura's and my bowl on top of the three he had already eaten, managed to groan out, "I'm going to go back to my house and digest…" and with that he grabbed his bulging stomach and began to hobble back to his house. "I'm glad you're better Gaara, you should visit here again and we can hang out some more." he said as he slowly walked by me. "I'll write you." he said as he weakly let one of his arms stop supporting his stomach and gave me a backwards wave.

I turned so that I could track the boy with my eyes. He wanted to spend time with me? That boy was stranger then I thought…

"So did you like your party?" I heard Sakura say and I turned around so that I was now facing the last remaining person.

I just shrugged.

"Now don't revert back to not answering questions…" she warned teasingly.

I just looked at her slightly annoyed.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked me then "I'm really not tired and your siblings will probably be a while with Tsunade…"

A walk sounded like a good idea to me, especially since I had been trapped inside that hospital room for the past few months.

I nodded at her which brought a smile to her face. She began walking, and I fell in line right next to her.

We walked in silence for a while. I could tell that she wanted to say something to me to break the silence, but was unsure on what to say.  
Everyone that we passed on the streets gasped when they saw me and quickly ran inside the nearest building. I diverted my eyes from them all. When Sakura noticed what was going on, she motioned for me to follow her into the woods, which I did gladly.

When we got to an open field away from the city and its people, she stretched her arms out and breathed deeply, "What a beautiful night!" she exclaimed.

I looked up at the sky and noticed that there wasn't a cloud in it.

She must have noticed me looking at the stars because she asked, "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

"I like them better in Suna." I said.

She looked at me confused, "Gaara…stars are stars, they don't change from place to place."

I looked at her agitatedly, "I know that. But there's just more of them in Suna." I clarified.

"Oh…" she said, returning her gaze to the sky.

Then she disappeared from my peripheral vision. I looked at the spot where she used to be standing and found that she was now lying on the grass gazing up at the sky.

I mimicked her action and sat down next to her, I figured it would make her more comfortable.

We sat there in silence again.

But this time she broke it by saying, "So when are you going to answer my questions?"

"When are you going to answer mine?" I responded quickly, never taking my eyes off of the sky.

She smirked at me and supported herself on her elbows. "How about this," she proposed, "I'll answer one and then you answer one and so on until all of our questions have been answered."

I thought about this and then nodded in agreement.

"Alright then, what question would you like me to answer first?" she asked lying back down.

"My first one: why did you always smile in that hospital room? I found no source of amusement in that room that could possibly make anyone happy."

She looked at me and smiled slightly, "maybe it was the _person_ in the room that made me smile."

My eyes widened…was she implying that I was making her happy? No…maybe she was just referring to herself and that _she_ made herself happy. That had to be it.

I nodded and then said, "you're turn."

She sat up then and scooted closer to me and asked, "Why was I your problem?"

I looked at her and breathed deeply. I felt obligated to answer her… I knew that my original intention was to purposely break our stupid little promise, but I found that I couldn't do it now…

I looked away from her and returned my gaze to the stars, then I answered her, "Because you did things that no one ever did before."

"Like what?" she asked.

"That wasn't part of the question." I responded slyly.

She smirked as if to say 'so that's how you want to play'. "Is it because I did this?" she asked as she ran her hand through my hair.

I nodded my head, I had a strong urge to close my eyes, but I kept them trained at the stars even though I was no longer really seeing them.

"And other things." I said as I grabbed her hand and removed it from my hair. It was an action meant to make her to stop touching me. But I had failed since her attention was no longer on my hair, but was now on my hand.

She was slowly rubbing her thumb over my fingers and was holding my hand. Again she scooted closer to me so that our shoulders were touching.

"Why didn't you want me to leave that one night?" she asked quietly as she continued to play with my hand. For some reason, I didn't want to pull it away.

"It's my turn to ask the question." I said.

She laughed slightly and nodded, "You're right. Go ahead."

"Who would want me to stay in Leaf?" I asked her.

She grasped my hand tighter and bowed her head slightly trying to hide her blush. Taking a deep breath, she suddenly looked at me and said, "I do."

My mouth dropped open slightly in shock. She had just said that she wanted me to stay...I was wanted somewhere by someone…what did this mean?!

She was leaning in closer to my face…I had seen people doing this action before…she wanted to kiss me. And before I knew it, her lips pressed lightly against mine.

Then she rested her head onto my shoulder…I was still frozen, all of my muscles had frozen up on me and I felt like a living statue.

"Why didn't you want me to leave you that one night?" she asked softly against my neck.

I could hear Shukaku laughing, _**Good job boy! You got her to like you…now's your chance to finish what we planned. Tell her the truth, tell her you were just using her to keep me away! Crush her fragile emotions so that you destroy her!!!**_

But I couldn't…I had wanted to, but I didn't want to now…

_**Do it!**_ Shukaku yelled.

_**DO IT!!!**_ I forced myself not to wince and grab my head at his raised volume. Because if I did, Sakura would move.

Why _didn't_ I want her to leave that night? I thought I was so sure before... but now…I didn't know. I know that she made Shukaku stop attacking me, but was there something else? Was there a truth that I was denying to myself about the emotions that I keep locked away so no one could use them against me?

"Because…" I answered slowly. "Because you were the first person to show kindness towards me, and I didn't want you to go. You made it feel better…"

I felt as the weight from her head lifted off of my shoulder and I knew she was looking at me.

"I made what feel better?" she asked.

I sighed and removed my hand from hers, only to grab hers again and place it over my heart. "This." I said and her eyes went wide in understanding.

It was true. When she was around my heart didn't hurt as much as it usually does…I only told myself that she didn't have any effect on me in order to remain the way that I was…but I saw now that I had changed in some small way due to this girl.

Her hand tightened onto my shirt and she leaned in again to kiss me.

When her lips touched mine once again, I didn't know what to do.

I began to mimic her movements and a sound that sounded like a moan came from her.

I must have been doing something right.

I decided that she tasted like…innocence. Something that I've never had or every experienced before. I felt like every time I kissed her my corruption and sinfulness contaminated her. I tried to pull away but I found that I couldn't…

After a few moments she stopped and locked me into a hug.

Was this really happening to me? Or was it all just some big game…

"I have to return to Suna." I said, breaking her out of her reverie.

She stopped hugging me and nodded sadly, "I know…"

I returned my glare back up to the stars so that I didn't have to see that look in her eyes.

"Can I write to you?" I heard her ask.

I looked at her again, surprise written all over my face.

She smiled again and laughed, but I grabbed her chin and rubbed my thumb over her smile.

"I do this?" I asked her.

Her smile broadened and she nodded at me.

I heard Temari's loud voice calling for me in the distance and I stood up. "I have to go, Temari is calling for me."

Sakura followed my lead and stood up as well. "Wait…" she said and she grabbed my hand once more.

"Promise you'll come visit." she said.

I knew that I shouldn't. I knew that as soon as I got a chance to return to Konaha she would have found someone else to take the spot that I was currently in…but against all reason I heard myself say, "I promise."

She smiled again and we went our separate ways.

I found my siblings waiting for me at the gates.

"Let's go." I said as I walked past them. "This place is doing weird things to my head."

_I won't miss her._ I thought to myself.

And with that we began our trek back to Suna.


	8. Chapter 8

**thanks everyone once again! and no, that wasn't the end of this story! LOL  
i will put in here what the final chapter is, but as of right now, i see this story going on for a while...  
but i have to warn you about this chapter...  
WARNING: Gaara's wrath takes over and he gets revenge!  
that means gruesomeness ahead!  
i felt as though i had to devote a whole chapter on Gaara's revenge...  
so enjoy the bloody mess!**

**:-P**

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When we entered Suna once again, the streets were busy with life as usual.

Merchants called out to people passing by their carts or shops, beggars begged for anything that you were willing to give up, children ran past you yelling and laughing, musicians played their instruments to anyone that would listen or maybe drop them a coin in appreciation.

But I wasn't paying attention to anyone… I wanted my gourd back. And I wanted to make the people who had tricked me pay. Once those tasks were completed, I could move on and start improving my reputation in the village; but until then, I was just as blood thirsty as ever.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, making all of my senses seek out my gourd.  
Everything pointed to one place: the town's center.

Changing directions, I made a beeline to the area. And what I saw when I got there made my blood boil…and Shukaku wasn't even involved yet.  
There, on display for everyone to see, hanging from a sign in the middle of the town was my gourd…which was now broken and scattering its sand in the wind.  
I walked slowly to it and I heard as the streets grew quieter and quieter as I took each step.

Taking out a kunai, I cut the rope that was holding my gourd up. I knew that if I looked at the sign that was made for this mock-memorial I would kill everyone…but my curiosity got the better of me.  
The sign read: **Abiit, excessit, evasit, erupit**.  
In other words: he has left, absconded, escaped and disappeared.  
I tightened my fists. They would pay for this…

I summoned the sand that was lost and my gourd was once again whole in a matter of seconds.  
Strapping it to my back, I tested out how it felt…my back was still sore, but carrying my gourd was somewhat comforting for me. It was heavier then I remembered it, but I blamed that on all the atrophy my muscles went through while I was laying helpless in that hospital bed.

Stepping down from my "memorial", I stared at my siblings. They were both smirking at me.

"Nice to have you back, Gaara." Kankuro said and Temari just nodded.

"Welcome back to Suna." a loud voice said.

I didn't have to turn around to see who it was…I could tell by his voice. It was the elder that had double-crossed me.  
I kept walking towards my siblings. That man would die, I just didn't want to do it right now. I wanted him to suffer knowing that it was coming, he wouldn't know when, but it was coming.

"Is that how you greet the leader of the village?" he said again.

Without turning around, I responded, "I wasn't aware that Suna put weak old men in charge."

"Well, until they appoint a new Kazekage, I'm the leader. And that means you have to show me respect and do whatever I tell you to do."

This guy was just asking for it.

I turned around and stalked up to him. When I was so close that I could smell what he had for breakfast on his breath I said, "You do _not_ control me."

He smiled at me then and responded, "Yes I do. You are a tool to us, Gaara. And a tool does what it's told, just like an obedient dog." He straightened up as tall as he could stand and then said, "Now…SIT!"

I growled loudly at the man. I was going to make sure his death was slow…very, very slow.

He leaned down again and whispered into my ear, "So Gaara, how's your back doing?" And then he grabbed for my shoulder but my sand blocked him. I almost sighed in relief at the lack of contact. I was growing use to people being able to touch me even when I didn't want them to. The sand's protection from the contact was welcoming.  
I smirked at him as he tried to pull his hand away, but my sand was now holding onto it.  
I brought him down to my level as my sand squeezed tighter and tighter, I could tell that he was trying to not make any noise of pain or alarm…but his eyes told me everything: he was terrified and in agony.

"I'll see you tonight." I hissed into his ear, and then squeezed his hand until I knew it was about to break, and then I let him go.

Still smirking, I turned my back on him and walked past my siblings and headed to our home.

I knew that by tonight, the man would have a whole army of people guarding him and that he would be hidden inside some huge fortress cowering in a corner wishing and hoping that I wouldn't find him…but in the back of his mind, he _knew_ that I would find him and that I _would_ have my revenge.

When we got home, Temari rushed in front of me and started complaining about how long it was going to take her to make the place clean again. I heard her say something about there being sand everywhere and I rolled my eyes. After 12 years of being her brother, you would think that she would know that I controlled sand. With a small movement of my finger, all of the sand that had blown into the house by sandstorms and whatever else was gone.

Temari stopped complaining immediately and said, "Thanks Gaara…"  
I nodded once at her and walked slowly to my room.

"Oi, Gaara… what do you want to eat for dinn…" Kankuro was cut off my Temari. I heard her say something like, "Don't bother him now…" but then I shut her sentence out by closing my room's door.

She was right, I didn't want to be bothered right now.  
I walked over to the window that was in my room and just stared out of it at Suna and the desert that surrounded it.  
I watched as the sun slowly began its descent behind the western dunes.  
I watched as the citizens of Suna closed up their carts and shops and returned to their homes for dinner and to rest up for tomorrow's work.

I watched as the young children gathered in the dusty streets and started to play a game of soccer. A memory of me attacking a group of kids when they ran away from me flashed in my mind again, but this time I didn't wince or grab my head. I welcomed the pain that it brought, that pain only fueled the inferno that was already burning.

I watched as guards ran to the building that I had carried out my punishment in and surrounded it in a stance that signaled that they were ready to attack anyone who approached.  
I watched as the head elder was escorted into the building and locked inside of it.

He was making this way too easy for me.  
Apparently he thought that if he hid out in a room that no sand could get in, he was safe…he couldn't be more wrong.

The sun was half-way down now. The sky was scorched red, and it reminded me of blood. I smirked, it was a good sign for me, a bad sign for the man that I was going to kill tonight.  
Suddenly the sun was blotted out by something, I looked at the horizon and noticed that a sandstorm was on its way. I smirked wickedly at this, everything was moving to my favor.

I saw as the kids abandoned their game and ran to their homes.  
I watched as the town quickly and automatically boarded up their houses.  
The streets were now black from the lack of light that the houses usually provided it.  
I watched as the guards around the building grew timid at the coming storm, but being loyal dogs, they didn't move from their post.

I jumped down from my window landing softly. I then began to make my way to where I was going to unleash my rage.  
_You can have the men on the outside of the building. But the elder is mine,_ I told Shukaku.  
_**Fine with me boy, just as long as I get to kill someone.**_

I arrived at the building the same time that the sandstorm hit the city. Sand was blowing all around us and I quickly disappeared into it. A low raspy sound was coming out of my throat…I was laughing.  
I could hear as the guards breaths became ragged and panicked.

One guard didn't know I was there until he turned around and found himself staring at a face that was half my own and half Shukaku's. He was dead before he could even let out a scream.

The others died quickly as well. Shukaku was aching for bloodshed, he had been cooped up without fresh blood for way too long. By the time we were done on the outside, his hunger was finally satisfied.

I picked the bodies up from the ground using my sand and then used the force of the sandstorm to blow down the doors to the building.  
I found the elder cowering behind the teakettle.

When he saw me, he called for the guards. The sand that was swarming around me constricted tightly and all of the blood in the guards' bodies showered the room, covering it with the sticky thick substance.

The elder screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

I returned my sand into my gourd and removed it from my back, placing it in the corner of the room.  
"I want to kill you with my bare hands." I informed him in case he thought that I wasn't going to kill him after all. "I want to feel as your bones break and as your last breath escapes from your lungs."

The man dropped to his knees then, holding his arms up in the air and begged for his life.  
I stood there, listening to his pathetic begging, and didn't move.  
When he was done, he was lying prostrate on the floor and sobbing into the ground. His white robes were now red with blood from my display earlier.  
When I heard his whiny little voice cease making noise, I said in a monotone voice, "You call that begging?"  
He lifted his head and looked at me then. The man's face was covered in blood, tears, and snot.  
"You can beg better than that…" I said and took a step toward him.

He moved to crawl away but I grabbed him by the collar of his robes and lifted him off the ground.  
Punching him in the face I said, "This is for my mother who you decided her fate for her." I felt his cheekbone crush under my fist and I heard his nose crack.

"This is for letting our father treat his children like animals."  
I punched the other side of his face and heard his nose crack once more, he was now forced to breath out of his mouth since his nose was now completely useless.

Getting a firmer grip on his robes, I squared the wobbling man to me and punched him in the center of his chest sending him crashing against the wall. I felt at least three ribs crack at the blow.  
"That was for treating me like a tool all these years."

I walked over to him once again and grabbed his right arm.  
"This is for that memorial you set up for me." And then I broke his arm at his elbow.

I was aware of the screams the man was making but Shukaku was absorbing most of them with glee, the only thing I concentrated on was making this man pay.

"This is for double-crossing me and giving me a punishment I didn't agree to." I grabbed his left arm and broke it at the elbow also.

"This is for calling me a dog."  
And I kicked him with all of my strength between his legs.

I grabbed his right leg and twisted it radically to the left until I felt the ligaments tear and felt his bones twist in an unnatural way. "Now SIT!" I yelled at him.

"ROLL OVER!" I yelled again and did the same to his left leg.

The man's eyes were filled with pain. I had never seen so much pain in my life…and I was enjoying every ounce of it. It was extremely satisfying to destroy the life of someone that you abhor with your bare hands.

I grabbed the man's head off of the ground and placed my hands on either side of his neck.  
Twisting slowly I heard as the man gave a last second attempt to beg for his life, but they fell onto deaf ears.  
I twisted until my hands felt his neck crack and break, and then I twisted some more…  
By the time I was done twisting, the man landed on his face when I dropped him on his back.  
Looking at my work I spat on him and said, "Now stay."

I let out a yell of bloodlust and satisfaction that was half mine and half Shukaku's.

I exited the building and grabbed my gourd on the way out, the sandstorm was still raging in the village.  
I left the mess for the other elders to take care of. There was no need to hide who did it, they all knew, the whole _village _knew.

When I walked into our house, I found my siblings sitting on the couch waiting for my return.  
They both looked over at me and I watched them suppress a gasp.  
I must have been a sight to see: I was covered in blood, it dripped from my clothing, my hair, my skin…my eyes were wild with the thrill of the hunt and kill.  
Temari and Kankuro stared at me silently, and then nodded.

With that, I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I let the blood run off of my body and down the drain.  
I stared at the drain mesmerized at how it made everything that littered my body disappear.

When I stepped out of the shower, I noticed that the clothes that I had been wearing were now gone and replaced by clean pajama pants. Temari must have snuck in and grabbed my clothes so that she could wash them for me.  
I was going to do it, but I'm glad that she did…it showed me that she approved of my actions, no matter how horrible they were.

I pulled on my pants and headed for my room.  
I jumped onto the roof and scanned my surroundings, the sandstorm was over and no one was approaching our house.  
I would remain on guard all night, protecting my siblings so that no one would take my actions out on them.  
In the morning I would face the consequences, if there were any…  
But for now I won't even think about that.  
I will just bask in the calmness that now washed over me as Shukaku purred in satisfaction.

I felt as if a weight had been lifted and that one of my demons had been exorcised…


	9. Chapter 9

**Glad to hear ya'll liked that last chapter...i was a little worried that i went overboard on it.**

**you guys are all amazing...thank you SO much. you have _no_ idea how much love i'm sending everyone right now. haha  
and i don't own Naruto, i'm just obsessed with it.**

**:-P**

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After killing the head elder, a new one was appointed immediately the next day. There was still no candidate for Kazekage, so the elders were still in charge. I didn't mind the new head elder all too much, he treated my like he did my siblings, which isn't saying a whole lot; but it was better than being called a dog. He also decided not to punish me for the murders of the elder and his bodyguards, he said that he was in the room during my first punishment and felt that I had suffered enough chastisement to last me a lifetime.

As for appointing a new Kazekage, the elders where at a loss. Normally, in Suna, the Kazekage role is inherited by a child of the Kazekage, normally a male. However, it was well known that Kankuro didn't have the willpower to carry out the tedious paperwork everyday. They also knew that my father did _not_ want me to follow in his footsteps. Although he never formally signed any documentation denouncing me from my "birthright", my father made it perfectly clear that I was to never become Kazekage…so the elders didn't know what to do. Never in our history did we have a female Kazekage, so Temari taking the position was out of the question since the elders felt that Suna was not ready for such a change.

So while the elders bickered back and forth between themselves, things carried on as they normally did. My siblings and I got numerous missions, usually being bodyguards for important officials of other countries that were coming and going to Suna. There was also a rumor that the Hokage in Leaf wanted to strengthen bonds with Suna once again, the elders were elated by that notion.

When we weren't on missions, we were at our home doing normal things, well, as normal as _we_ could do things of course. Temari cleaned and tried to cook, Kankuro played with his puppets, I tried to keep control of Shukaku, and between all of this was training and the occasional fight between my two older siblings. At night I would usually sit on the roof, walk the streets, or read while they slept.  
I also noticed that I found my thoughts drifting to Sakura more and more often. I wasn't too pleased with this, but it seemed the more I tried _not_ to think of her, the more I did.  
She was a parasite in my brain.

After training one day, I was sitting in the kitchen drinking some water when Kankuro dropped two letters down in front of me.  
"You got some mail…" he said with an amused smirk. "One is from that obnoxious blonde boy and the other is from a _girl_." The emphasis he put on the word "girl" earned him a death glare from which he promptly cowered away from.

I grabbed the letters and put them in my room because I knew that both of my siblings would never enter there and that my letters would be safe from prying eyes. I didn't open the letters though, I decided that I would save them for later while I was looking for something to do while everyone else slept. Besides, it was a full moon tonight, it might help me to control the bloodlust that I could already feel coming to a boil inside of me.

At dinner, I actually sat at the table with my siblings. I was surprised to see a place set up for me…  
Temari apparently had tried to make soup of some sort, but had obviously failed miserably… I had never seen a black soup that separated itself into five different layers before…  
Deciding not to even try the soup, I grabbed a roll that I knew wasn't homemade and nibbled on it.  
"So Gaara, how was training today?"  
I looked up at my sister who was awaiting my answer and I shrugged and continued to eat.  
"You've been training a lot lately…" she continued "how is your back feeling?"  
She was right, I had been training a lot, I had to regain all of the strength that I had lost while I atrophied in that hospital. I was now back to where I was before, but I had missed out on months of training when I was healing, so I had to make up for lost time.  
"It's fine." I answered shortly.

She nodded at me and then carried on a conversation with Kankuro. I was still getting use to the idea of being a "family", and not just someone that I was tied to by mutual hatred…but I was starting to get the hang of it. I even found it somewhat relaxing at times to come home and know that there won't be an assassin waiting in my room for me. I never let my guard down of course, because that's how fatal errors happen…but slowly but surely they were wearing me down and gaining what little trust I had left.

"So Gaara…what did those letters say?" Kankuro asked, his face full of mischief. He was obviously trying to divert Temari's attention away from him not eating her soup.  
"What letters?" Temari asked with her mouth full of food.  
"Gaara got a letter from that Uzumaki kid and also from a _girl_."  
He had put that stupid emphasis on the word again. Keeping my face calm and not moving a muscle, I watched as Kankuro jumped slightly when he felt my sand curl around his ankles from underneath the table…although I was their younger brother, I still had to show them who was boss sometimes.  
"Rrreallly…" Temari dragged out, "and what did these letters say?"  
I took my eyes off of Kankuro and now stared at my sister, and only shrugged.  
"Does that shrug mean that you don't know? Or does that shrug mean that you know but you don't want to share it with us?" Temari pried.  
"I didn't open them yet." I said.  
"Oh…it was an I-don't-know shrug…" Temari said, sounding disappointed. Temari loved gossip and it was well known that my sister was the head honcho of the rumor-mill that buzzed around Suna.

I stood up from my seat, dumped my soup into the sink, washed out my dishes, and then returned to my room.  
I just stood there and stared at the letters until my siblings went to bed. I'd never gotten a letter before and was still amazed that they actually _did_ write, just like they said they would. I figured it would be a good thing for the elders to re-strengthen ties with Konoha since they apparently kept their promises.

When I heard both Temari and Kankuro knock their goodnights on my door, I reached out and grabbed the first letter which was from Naruto. Gently ripping open the seal on it, I opened it up and read:

_GAARA!_

_So I told you I would write…but I figured you would have visited by now. But you're probably busy in Suna doing awesome missions that I don't get here in Konoha. Tsunade has us on the lamest missions possible…I find it hard not to fall asleep during them!  
__I was thinking that maybe the next time you're around, we could train together and you could show me some awesome moves that you know that will give me an edge on everyone else…that would be awesome, believe it!  
__But my stomach is growling, so I'm gonna get some ramen now…I'll eat a bowl for you too!_

_Naruto_

"Baka…" I muttered as I reread the letter. Of course my first letter had to be a complete waste of paper that didn't contain anything interesting. I rolled it back up and placed it on a shelf with other various scrolls that I had. I hope he didn't expect me to write a response to that…

I reached for Sakura's letter, but when I reached for it, I found that my hand was shaking. That was interesting…it had never done that before. I found myself fascinated with my own hand…I stared at it like a baby stares at his own hands when he first discovers that he has them. Again I looked at the letter and only wondered what she could have written in it…hopefully it wasn't as pointless as Naruto's. But what could she have possibly written to me about? I picked up the scroll and smelled it…it smelt like her. It smelled like innocence and something else that I couldn't quite place. The taste of her lips was suddenly on the tip of my tongue and she flooded my mind once again. She was everywhere, just like Shukaku was when he attacked me mentally…I half-expected myself to start turning into her physically since that's what I did with Shukaku.  
Instead I found myself sitting on my bed, clutching my chest right where my heart was and…missing that damn girl.  
_What the hell is wrong with me?_ I asked myself  
_**I can't help you there boy, I only know death, not emotions.  
**_Knowing that I was on my own in this matter, I decided that the only way to cure this sudden attack of the pink-haired demon was to exorcize her by reading her letter. Tearing it open violently I read:

_Gaara,_

_How have you been? I hope you haven't been over-doing your training…but I have a feeling that you have. Just don't push too much yet, you just got your back healed, you don't want to be back here to fix another injury…but I wouldn't mind having you here…  
__Anyways, I'm writing because I told you that I would. I really don't expect you to write back. You don't seem like the type…but know that I wish you well and that I can't wait to see you again!  
__Take care of yourself._

_Until we meet again,_

_Sakura_

_P.S. Tell Temari and Kankuro I said "hi"!_

I re-read her letter at least a dozen times until I had it memorized. I had to crack the code that she had written in… she said in her letter that she wanted to see me again, but she also said that she was only writing because she said she would…she didn't expect me to write her back, but at the end she sounded like we will meet again sometime in the near future.

I had cracked the code: I would _never _understand girls.

It all just made my head hurt. I rolled up her letter and placed it in a drawer that was located next to my bed.  
Maybe she would write again…maybe they _both_ would write again…only time would tell.

As the weeks passed by, I kept getting letter after letter from Naruto and Sakura. I soon had to put their letters in separate boxes because there were so many of them. Naruto usually talked about ramen and his friends and all the little "exciting" adventures that he went on. Sakura usually talked about Tsunade's training and other trivial stuff like her favorite flower and how much she hated when she would pick one and a few days later it would die. I didn't quite understand why she was telling me these things…but I soon felt that I had to somehow show her that I was receiving these letters and that her words weren't completely wasted to the winds of Suna.

So one night, I summoned some sand and concentrated on moving it all the way to Konoha…I saw in my mind as it floated across the desert and through the forest that surrounded Leaf and then as it snaked its way silently through the streets until it was right outside Sakura's window. Once it was there, I concentrated even harder and made the sand form into something that I knew she would appreciate. Locking some chakra into it, I made it so my sand-art would forever remain in the shape that I had molded it into…unless something happened to me of course.  
When my task was complete, I smiled inwardly. I knew that Sakura would appreciate it… after all, it _was_ her favorite flower; only this time, this rose wouldn't wilt and die, it would forever remain in its perfect mold.

The next letter I got from Sakura contained one thing: it was a rose that she had apparently flattened between a book or something. It fascinated me, I had seen pictures of a rose, but had never actually seen a real one before. It was blood red, yet it smelled sweet and not metallic. Its leaves promised beauty yet its thorns promised pain and danger…I decided that Sakura had picked the perfect flower as her favorite…it was beautiful yet threatening.

I decided that I has to keep this flower somehow…but how? Suddenly I remembered a perfect place where I could put it. I lifted up a loose board in my floor and pulled out a book that I had not opened in several years…it was an old photo album that I had stolen from father's room when he wasn't looking. It contained photos of my siblings as babies and of my mother and father smiling at each other and into the camera…they always seemed so happy in those photos. I had forgotten that I had this album, but Sakura's rose had prompted my memory for some reason. I gently picked up the rose between my fingers and placed it in the next set of blank pages. Closing the album carefully, I put it back where I had hid it in the first place…only this time I was sure I wasn't going to forget it was there.

This girl was doing weird things to me indeed…

Weeks later, a messenger knocked loudly on our door during the early morning hours in which my siblings are still sleeping and the sun is just beginning to wake up. Knowing that I was the only one who would answer the door at such an hour, I flung it open forcefully and all but demanded what the boy wanted.

He stuttered a message about the elders needing to see us immediately and to get Temari and Kankuro and meet them all in the main office in the Kazekage building.  
I nodded that I understood to the messenger and then slammed the door in his face.  
Not hesitating for a minute, I woke both of my siblings up, much to their disliking, told them of the message, and then waited impatiently by the door for them to get ready.

_I wonder what they want…  
__**Who knows…whatever it is, it's big. Otherwise they would have waited until they knew that one of your siblings was awake so that they wouldn't have to risk the chance of you answering the door.  
**__That's very true… _I mused, _did you see the terror in that boys eyes?  
__**I did…you may be changing boy, but we still have a grip of terror on this village. This pleases me greatly.  
**_

Suddenly my chest tugged again…knowing that I still had the village terrified was no longer a comforting notion to me anymore…  
When my siblings were finally ready, we ran and jumped our way over buildings and streets so that we could arrive to the meeting as soon as possible.

Upon entering the room, the loud mutterings quieted, and the head elder filled us in immediately.  
"As you three know, we are trying to strengthen bonds between Leaf again. The Hokage has sent us an urgent letter describing that she has sent some of her ninja out to retrieve a runaway named Uchiha Sasuke."

My hands balled into fists and tightened at the mention of his name. We had better not be sent out to help _him_.

"The Hokage is worried about her young shinobi since Orochimaru is involved, so she is asking us to send out our best to support the Leaf shinobi and to aid them in any battles that they come across. Since you three are the best that we have, we're sending you."  
"When do we leave?" Temari asked.  
"Now." replied the elder.

My siblings seemed a little shocked, but I broke them out of it by nodding slightly and then leaving as quickly as possible. We had a long journey ahead of us and if we got to the Leaf shinobi too late and they were already dead, then the possibility of strengthening ties would be eliminated and the threat of war would be eminent. And if a war _did_ break out between our countries, I wasn't sure if Suna would survive…

By the time that we had reached Konoha's shinobi, I could sense that three of them needed help immediately, otherwise they were going to die. I instructed my siblings to split up, and I headed towards the threat with the largest chakra level out of the three… I could tell that this opponent was going to be a major challenge. I was a little hesitant about my back since I had not been in a formal battle since I'd been healed and I figured starting out this big wasn't the best idea; but there was no way that I was going to make Kankuro or Temari face such a threatening opponent. They would be crushed…just as I could be.

When I finally hit the field where the battle was being held, I noticed a familiar green jumpsuit charge at the opponent.  
_It's that boy…_I thought, _the one I fought during the Chuunin exams.  
__**I thought we crushed him?! **_roared Shukaku, who was infuriated at the fact that one of our victims could possibly still be functioning as a shinobi.  
_He is stronger then we thought after all…_I mused to my demon as I shot sand out and easily blocked an attack that would have finished the boy.  
Carrying him on my sand to land softly at my feet, I could smell the alcohol on his breath…  
_**He's drunk! **_Shukaku shrieked and laughed at the same time.  
_Maybe he's not as strong after all…_ I mused and then drew my attention to my new opponent. I could only hope that Kankuro and Temari reached their targets in time as well…

"Who are you?" I heard the man ask me.  
"An allied nation of Konoha, the ninjas of the sand." I said with my arms crossed. I could feel the boy I just saved staring at me with a mixture of confusion and pure terror.  
Stepping forward so that I was now blocking the boy from the man that had almost killed him. I found how ironic the situation was extremely amusing, but never showed it outwardly. I heard the boy say my name to himself and a strong breeze blew by us, I silently hoped that it was Temari's…

"Gaara…," I heard the man say as he folded his arms in front of his chest. "Is that you?"  
I knew he was planning on attacking then, but I didn't move in any way, I was curious as to how he was going to attack me if he knew who I was.  
The man suddenly shot something out of his fingertips at me, and my sand reacted immediately. I was curious to what it was though so I drew them near to me so that I could see exactly what he had shot out…they looked like bones. I left them fall to the ground. This battle was definitely going to be interesting.

"You're so hasty." I said in slight amusement. Again the irony was immense.  
"You…" I said, turning my attention to the drunkard behind me, "when we fought, you had more speed and spirit in your attacks."  
He struggled to get up and responded, "Whatever you say, I don't have a grudge with you or anything, but because of you I had to go through some tough times." he sounded almost pleased by this.

Usually I would smile at such a statement, since ruining people's lives is what I do best, but nothing happened…my mouth remained a slight frown as usual.  
"Is that so?" I asked as I returned my sand to my gourd.  
"But why are you here?" he asked me suspiciously, I couldn't blame him either, I _had_ tried to kill him and his whole village.  
Glancing back at him I responded, "I owe Konoha a big debt."

A staring contest then ensued between myself and the enemy ninja standing across the field…it was only a matter of time before one of our fates was decided by the other.  
The boy stood up as if to fight the man again… I could smell his blood in the air and noticed that it was dripping from his arm. A flashback as to what I had done to him during the exams caused me to turn away from the sad sight and say, "I'll fight him."  
I heard the boy gasp at my statement and start to protest.  
"You cannot fight in your weakened state…I'll fight him." I said again, and this time I stepped forward to challenge my opponent. I could only hope that Kankuro and Temari were successful in their battles.

I threw everything I had at this rival. I crushed him over and over, but every time he came back even stronger then before. I felt as my chakra was quickly used up and my back began to ache.  
I had one more move in me…but that would be it. I had to end it now. I crushed the boney freak in my sand once more, but he retaliated by sending giant bone spikes all around us. I grabbed the boy I was supposed to save and floated us on my sand. I was breathing hard, I was almost to my limit.

"We have to get down now." I informed him. "I'm at my limit."  
Suddenly I heard a shout and the man that I thought was dead was right behind me with one of his boney spikes coming right for me. I couldn't move, he had me… but then he stopped. I stared at him wide-eyed as the man died of a strange disease before he could finish off his attack.

Leaning against a tree after the fight, I had to deal with Shukaku's yelling.  
_**We lost AGAIN!!!! What is wrong with you boy?! Have you grown so weak that you cannot win battles anymore?! All of that training you do is for NOTHING!!!  
**_Sighing and bowing my head to the ground I spoke aloud, "I lost."  
The green boy tried to cheer me up by telling me about his sensei's beliefs and attitudes, but I quickly tuned him out.  
"You cannot defeat such loneliness," I said more to myself then to him.

No longer sensing my siblings, I figured that they were successful in their missions and had returned to Konoha with their charges. Following their example, I stood up and waited for the boy to follow my lead.  
Shaking slightly, he stood up and smiled at me.

Together we walked back to Konoha…slowly. Much too slowly for my taste. I would have gladly let the elders extract Shukaku right then and there just to not have to hear the boy go on and on about the power of youth…  
It was annoying.

Diverting my bloody and gory thoughts of the boy's doom, I thought about what I would do when I got back to Konoha once again… maybe I would visit Sakura…  
I liked that idea, it made me feel lighter on the inside. Maybe I could ask her to take a look at my back once again since it was throbbing.

"Hey! Slow down!" I heard my charge yell at me. I was unaware that I had quickened my pace when I started to think about Sakura…  
_**Anxious to see the girl, are we? **_Shukaku asked mockingly.  
_Shut up._ It was all I had.  
I knew that he was right, and worse, _he_ knew that he was right…  
I wanted to see her. And as much as I told myself that I wouldn't…  
I actually truly think that I miss her…


	10. Chapter 10

**i don't want to be redundant...but you all are amazing and thanks once again for all the wonderful reviews! you all inspire me to keep working on this story, especially when i hit a writer's block...  
so i hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

**:-) and i do not own naruto...**

* * *

Upon entering Konoha once again, I decided to keep my distance for the boy who's name I had finally remembered, Lee.  
I didn't want people to panic like they did the last time I had walked with Sakura in the streets, so I resigned myself into the shadows that the trees and buildings provided for me as I watched Lee make his way back to the hospital. I silently hoped that my siblings would be in the hospital, because seeing Sakura again had seemed like a good idea before, but now that I was back in the city I suddenly found myself anxious and on edge…in fact, I found myself hoping that I wouldn't see her at all.

My hoping proved to be futile, because suddenly I heard Lee shouting at someone and waving animatedly.  
That's when I saw her.  
She had worry written all over her face as she rushed towards the green freak. She ran up to him and immediately started to fuss over him, checking for injuries and such. I could see her reprimanding him, I'd seen that face before and could practically hear the speach she was giving him since I had heard it so many times while she was healing me…but then I felt my stomach drop, he was explaining something to her and pointing in my general direction.  
I saw her stand on her toes and cover her eyes so that she could better see into the shadows…I wanted to run, but my feet refused to move. I saw Lee grab her arm and bring her over to me.  
I had to move, and I had to move now...otherwise there was absolutely no chance to avoid the thing that had been plaguing my mind since I had left this cursed town.  
"Gaara?" I heard her ask the shadows around me.  
Sighing, I stepped out into the light so that she could see me. Her face immediately lit up and she leapt at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.  
Surprised and unprepared for this action, I was forced down by her sudden weight and slight height difference. I hissed as my back bent suddenly and immediately she pulled away from me.  
"You're back hurts?" she asked me.  
I just looked at her and decided not to answer. Grabbing my hand and then grabbing Lee's arm, she marched us both to the hospital. The people in the streets stopped and pointed at us as the pink haired medic dragged the "demon boy" and "the other green beast" down the streets.

Upon entering the hospital, I scanned the hallways for my siblings as Sakura took us farther and farther in, but I didn't see or sense them. Tsunade greeted us in front of a room and grabbed Lee off of Sakura immediately. When Sakura said that I needed to be looked over as well, Tsunade instructed her to take me somewhere else because all of the rooms were full. Nodding in understanding, she turned me around and then proceeded to drag me out of the hospital.  
As soon as we stepped out of the hospital however, my wits finally caught up with me and I stopped our movements immediately. "Where are you taking me?" I demanded, pulling my hand out of hers.  
"Well…I'm taking you to my home since I have medical supplies there…" she said blushing a little.  
"You're taking me to your house?" I clarified, as if I hadn't heard her correctly the first time.  
She nodded and then grabbed for my hand again. When once again I didn't move from my spot, she looked at me confused.  
"Dragging me down the street will not be necessary."  
Seeing her error, she nodded a few times and then walked next to me still holding my hand. I figured she needed some comforting since both Sasuke and Naruto were currently gone from the village, maybe never to return, so I let her derive some comfort from holding my hand.

When we were in front of her apartment, she took out a key and unlocked the door. She walked inside first and I followed a few steps behind her. I had no idea what I was walking into and I had to be cautious to my surroundings. Her apartment was small, but was plenty of room for one person.  
"Would you like some tea?" she asked me.  
I nodded my response once again.  
"You can sit on the couch while you wait, I'll only be a minute."  
I decided that sitting wouldn't be the best idea, so I opted to stand by the window, scanning the surroundings. When she entered the room that I was standing in, she placed the tea on a table and walked over to stand next to me. Reaching for my buckles to unstrap the gourd from my back, I stopped her hand mid-air.  
"I'll do it." I said as I walked away from her and neared the couch.  
Undoing my gourd's holster, I placed it against the couch and then sat down uneasily, my eyes scanning the room as I did so.  
"Do you not trust me anymore?" she asked me as she crossed her arms over her chest.  
"Anymore?" I asked her as I spared her a glance.  
Letting out an exasperated huff, she stormed out of the room and returned soon after with a bag that I assumed was full of medical equipment.  
"Take off your shirt." she stated shortly.  
I did as she told me. Her actions were a little rougher than I remember as she searched my back for the problem. I almost winced as she hit a sensitive spot and all but jabbed her fingers into the knot that had formed.  
"You're upset." I stated.  
"No. I'm not upset, not at all…" she said as she jabbed her fingers into another knot she found.  
Grabbing her wrist and forcing her to stop, I threatened, "That _hurts._"  
"So?" she asked me pulling her wrist out from my grip, "should I care?"  
My eyes narrowed at her. It amazed me how all of the things she had written in her letters that had made me believe that she could possibly want to be my friend disappeared so easily in a single sentence… I grabbed my gourd and left her apartment.  
I didn't know where I was going to go, I didn't know where my siblings were…I just knew that I had to get away from the pink-haired liar before I killed her

.  
I found myself drawn to the spot where all of this had started in the first place: the field.  
The sun was starting to set. Sighing as I laid down in the grass, I stared up at the sky that was full of the color…pink. Growling at the fact that I couldn't even enjoy a sunset without thinking of her, I stood up once again and made my way over to a tree that I could sulk against until the sun had set and I could look up at the stars.

Leaning against the trunk, I looked upwards at the many branches that the tree had. My eyes twitched in fury as I found myself surrounded by pink cherry blossoms.  
The sand spilled out of my gourd and was about to rip the tree out of the ground and make the tree disappear forever when I heard a timid voice say, "Gaara…what are you doing?"  
Her small voice immediately stopped my action and my sand once again returned to my gourd.  
"What do you want?" I asked her, not even sparing her a glance.  
"I…I wanted to apologize." she said, "I was asking too much for you to trust me after all you've been through. But I just thought…that maybe…" and she trailed off.  
I felt my anger melt away. I hated the fact that she had that kind of power over me.  
"I don't trust anyone Sakura. You should know this. I only trust myself."  
I heard her walk towards me and felt as her arms snaked around my waste and she pressed herself against my back into a hug.  
"I liked the rose you made me." she said still hugging me.  
"And I like the one that you gave me." I said in response.  
She tightened her grip briefly and then let go. She walked in front of me and sat against the trunk of the tree.  
"Sit down." she motioned, but I shook my head 'no'.  
"I'll stand." I stated and crossed my arms. I heard her sigh as she leaned her head against the tree.  
"This isn't how I imagined things going when we saw each other again…" she stated to both herself and me.

I let out a huff. Silly girl and her delusional fantasies.  
"I imagined seeing you and… I don't know… maybe eating some ramen and telling each other what has been going on since the last time we've seen each other or something."  
I could feel as her mood became sadder and sadder and decided to stop the plummet before she started crying and I was forced to kill her. I sat down next to her and leaned against the trunk as well, looking up at the quickly darkening sky.  
"If you thought you were getting me to eat ramen again…you're crazier than I thought you were." This earned me a small smile and her nudging her shoulder against mine in a playful way.  
"You thought I was crazy?" she asked.  
I nodded in response.  
"Don't make me ask you another question… I know how much you like them." she smirked at me and I almost smirked back at her. "You're crazy because you want to be my friend." I told her and returned my eyes to the sky once again.  
"Why does that make me crazy?" she asked.  
"Because…I can't be anyone's friend." I said leaning forward and supporting my arms against my bent knees.

"Everyone can befriend someone Gaara, you just have to learn to trust again is all…"  
"And let me guess, you're just the person to do that…right?"  
"Yes. Yes I am." she responded leaning forward with me.  
I rolled my eyes at her, "I've heard this all before." I informed her as I started to stand up. Her hand caught my wrist and gently pulled me back down, begging me to stay.  
"Listen, I know that you have a rough past…I know probably more than most do because I read your file. But I'm asking you to trust me, and I promise that you won't be disappointed or hurt…"

I spared her a skeptic sideways glare. She smiled at me again and then cupped my face in her hands and turned my face towards hers. Once again, I found her kissing me.  
Pulling away I asked, "Do you make-out with all of your friends?"  
That earned me a small punch to my shoulder which I was surprised to see my sand didn't stop it.  
"Of course I don't." she said sticking her tongue out at me, "only you."

My face went from amused to shocked in a flash. I was the only one she kissed? My sand didn't stop her from touching or hitting me? What did all of this mean?!  
_Shukaku…?_ I asked inwardly, I needed answers.  
_**What? **_he asked clearly annoyed. _**Go back to kissing this girl, I like the fluttery feelings it makes you get.**_  
_Why am I the only one that she kisses? My don't you stop her from hitting me? What does this all mean?!_ I was becoming agitated and anxious.  
I felt as Shukaku quickly became agitated by my questions and snapped back, _**because she likes you, you stupid boy! I know that this girl could never physically threaten you due to her feelings towards you so I figured you can handle yourself with her.  
**_ _Should I trust her?_  
_**Might as well, it makes her happy and gives you a chance to be kissed some more. Besides, if she does deceive you, you can always kill her and continue on like you are now…**_  
_Who are you? _I mused. _Did my demon get switched without my knowledge?_

That earned me a sharp pain inside of my head, which forced me to wince and grasp it. Sakura was immediately asking me if I was okay and was trying to find the source of my sudden pain.  
_**Make no mistake boy… I still own and control you. I just choose to let these events unravel on their own without my interfering.**_  
Just as suddenly as the pain had started, it stopped. Gathering my scattered mental process, I returned my attention back to the worried pink-haired girl next to me.  
"Are you okay?" she asked me once again and I found that she was gently rubbing my back.  
"Why do you kiss me?" I asked her.  
I was so confused, things were happening that I never imagined were going to happen to me and I just didn't know who I was anymore. My world was crashing down on me and it was all because of this girl…

"Why do you kiss _me_?" she asked in response.  
"Weren't you ever told that you shouldn't answer a question with a question?"  
"Well, how about this then: I kiss you for the same reason that you kiss me back."

Her answer only confused me more… I tore my gaze from her and stared at the ground, hugging my knees into my chest tightly.  
"And what if I don't know why…?" I asked her.  
I felt her shift, I felt as she began to run her fingers through my hair and begin soothing me…  
"Then we'll have to find out then, won't we?"

I gave her a sideways glance and nodded once. I felt like I was five years old again…I could just feel the pitifulness of innocence enveloping me as this girl continued to comfort me and continued to be near me.  
"Can we not talk anymore?" I asked her grabbing the sides of my head. "This is making my head hurt…"  
She planted a kiss on the top of my scalp and then laid her head on my lap, staring up at the sky.  
Knowing that she wasn't going to talk anymore, I leaned back against the trunk and stared at the sky as well, hoping to find the reason for everything up there.

Eventually, her breathing slowly began to even out, and I knew that she was falling asleep.  
Not really knowing what to do, I shook her awake and told her that I would walk her home.  
She was still half-asleep, but she nodded in agreement and stood up with me.

Walking side by side once again, I folded my arms against my chest. It felt like all of my innards were convulsing and it brought about wave after wave of lightheaded euphoria that made me dizzy and queasy. To keep from flipping out entirely, I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and making it to Sakura's house; once she was there I was free to go out and kill something to make this anomalous feeling go away.

When we had reached her door, I watched as she began unlocking it. Once I saw that she could enter her house without a problem, I turned around and started walking away.  
"Wait!" I heard her exclaim as she grabbed the sleeve of my clothing.  
I gave her a sideways glance. What did she want now? Hadn't she had enough of me yet?  
"How long are you in Konoha for?" she asked still not releasing my sleeve.  
I just shrugged and said, "Until I find my siblings."  
"Well, where are you staying until then?"  
As I response, I just pointed towards the woods.

Finally releasing my sleeve only to cross her arms in front of her she said, "You know, just because most people treat you like an animal doesn't mean you have to live like one."  
I narrowed my eyes at her. Was she making fun of me? I tried to hold back the growl that was growing in the back of my throat, but it still came out.  
"Come on," she said grabbing my sleeve once again, "you can stay with me for now."

She moved to drag me into the house, but I didn't move from my spot.  
"Isn't that considered 'inappropriate'?" I asked her folding my arms together once again which caused her to come closer to me since she refused to let go of my clothing.  
She smirked at me then and responded, "It's only inappropriate if one of us thinks it is. All I'm doing is offering a friend a place to stay, where's the harm in that?"  
"People might say we're dating." I stated matter-of-factly.  
"Is there something wrong with that?" she asked me as something flashed across her eyes.

I could tell that this was a topic that she really wanted to discuss. I had seen that look in Temari's eyes on more then one occasion about stupid things like clothes and gossip.  
"It is if it's untrue. I've had my fill of rumors…" I broke off.  
It was true, it seemed no matter how hard Temari tried, rumors about me and how I lived filtered through Suna like the wind. Most of them were outlandish and ridiculously untrue, but that didn't stop people from believing them…making my already horrific reputation shoddier.

"What if it's not untrue though…" her eyes were staring at me full of hope.  
I had never seen someone look at me with as much hope in their eyes than she was right now…and she wasn't even begging for her life, and I wasn't pretending to hear her pleas…  
"What are you saying?" I demanded.  
"Well…I just thought that we…maybe we could…" she was talking herself in circles and stuttering again.  
I rolled my eyes at her feebleness.  
"Would it make you happy?" I asked, wanting to get her to stop talking and stuttering like an idiot.  
She smiled the brightest smile and nearly blinded me with her happiness, she was nodding vigorously as well.  
Rolling my eyes at her again I said, "Fine."  
"So we're dating?!" she squealed excitedly.  
"Not if you keep acting like that." I said, disgusted at her behavior.

Calming herself down immediately and collecting herself, she leaned in and kissed me once again. This girl was way too easy to please. "Come on." she said as she grabbed my hand and started to drag me again.  
Pulling away from her immediately, I held back my anger and said, "I already told you, dragging will _not_ be necessary."  
"Sorry…I was just a little overexcited is all."  
"Well don't be. You have nothing to be excited about." I said walking ahead of her into her house.  
"Why not?" she asked as she followed behind me.  
"Because, you're now 'dating' me…do you have any idea how hard you have just made your life?" I asked her as I turned on her pushing her back against a wall.  
"I don't care what people think." she said defiantly.

I smirked at her then, my face centimeters away from hers. I could feel her breath wash against my skin.  
"You will." I said and then I released her as I walked over to the window.  
"No I won't." she said with an air of force in her voice.  
"Everyone does…" I said quietly as I gazed out of the window at the night sky.  
"Even you?" she asked me.  
I spared her a sideways glance, but I never faced her. I couldn't right then. Of _course_ I cared about what others said about me. They were further destroying my already sordid name…how was I ever going to gain the respect of my village if the rumors about me continued to flood the streets of Suna?  
Wait…is that what I wanted? To gain the trust of the village and to be accepted by it? When did I start wanting this? And for how long had I been wanting this for?

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Sakura's hand on my shoulder.  
"Whatever it is that haunts you, it can't touch you here…" she reassured me; and I longed for her to be right, but I knew she wasn't. Deep down, I knew it was just a matter of time before she got sick of my standoffishness and unusual behavior and replaced me with another.  
I shouldn't get too attached and dependent on her, because as soon as I did, she would leave. And then I would be forced to kill her.

"You should go to sleep." I stated.  
She yawned and stretched in agreement.  
"Good night." she said, kissing my on my cheek and hugging me slightly as I continued to look out of the window unmoving.

As she began to walk towards her bedroom I heard her stop and say, "Promise me you'll be here when I wake up in the morning…"  
So needy.  
So timorous.  
So alone…  
"I promise." I found myself responding, "I'll be right here."  
Then I heard her bedroom door creak open and close.

As soon as her presence was out of the room, my thoughts returned to everything that was happening to me.  
_What have I agreed to? _I asked myself.  
For once, Shukaku decided not to add in his commentary.  
_Why does she accept and want me?_ _What am I becoming…?_  
And the answer to my last question came out of nowhere and echoed inside of my mind over and over again…  
the answer I got was: _human._


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's the next chapter! up until now i've been updating somewhat quickly...but that might change for the next week or so since i have mid-summer finals coming up. -sigh-**

**anyways, thanks for the support everyone! and here's the next chapter!  
:-)**

* * *

When Sakura woke up the next morning, I was standing in the same exact spot from which she had left me.

"Wow…you weren't kidding when you said that you'd be 'right there', where you?"

Turning around and holding out a scroll, I informed her that she had received a message from Tsunade while she was sleeping.

Taking it cautiously, she asked, "Did you read it?"

"Of course not. It's not addressed to me."

"But you could have easily read it and then…"

"Stop accusing me of something I did not do. I am _not_ a liar."

Tearing her attention away from me, she now focused on the scroll.  
Opening it, I studied her as she read it.  
I watched as her green eyes shifted back and forth…those eyes…the ones that had haunted me and brought me a world of trouble. And now I was supposedly "dating" the owner of them.  
I laughed inwardly at such nonsense, stupid humans and their pathetic need for affection and love.  
There that word was again: human. The word that came up when I asked the question 'what am I turning into?'…but it couldn't be true. I'm not human, I'm a monster!  
I'm…being hugged by this girl once again.

Sakura's sleepy smile pressed against my neck and I found myself moving without my mind's permission and wrapping my arms around her as well. As a result from my action, she was pulled closer to me and I felt as her heart beat calmly against my chest. Each beat sent sensations throughout my body…and for some reason I wanted that heart to beat for me and me only.

"Gaara…" I heard her ask in a sleepy voice, "what do you think about when that look takes over your face?"

"What look?" I asked her confused.

She pulled away from me slightly so that she could look at my face once again. "You're eyes go distant and your mouth turns downward more…"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I informed her.  
I wasn't aware of my face _ever _changing expression, except when I was blood crazed.

"Oh well," she said as she pulled away from me, "I'll point it out the next time you do it then…are you hungry?"

"Are you cooking?" I asked.

She nodded a very enthusiastic 'yes' to my question, and I winced.

"What's wrong? You don't think that I can cook?"

"I've had my fair share of 'home cooking' from Temari, and I found it…gut wrenching."

She laughed at me then and said, "Well, maybe I can help improve the reputation that cooking has in your mind."  
Then she disappeared into the kitchen.

I leaned against the wall next to the window as I listened to pots and pans being banged together.  
She was being way too noisy…my heightened hearing was screaming for her to stop her torment.

I walked into the kitchen to tell her to be quieter when I noticed that she was about to drop a pan onto the floor.  
Before it could hit the tiles and make the loudest noise to come out of that kitchen yet, my sand caught it and returned it to the counter.

"Thanks!" she said as she juggled more pots and pans.

"Do you need help?" I asked her unenthusiastically.  
The _last_ thing I wanted to do was cook breakfast for this stupid girl.

"If you want! I would really appreciate it if you could make the pancakes while I make the potatoes…" she said making her eyes really big and sad.  
They reminded me of a puppy…which meant that I was now dating a dog…  
I nodded in agreement, I would do anything so that she would stop representing an animal.  
She smiled and tossed me a box full of powder.

"What's this?" I asked her, grasping the box between my fingers and holding it away from my body, disgusted at the smell that was coming from it.

"It's the pancake mix. Just add water and you have the batter!" she said as she rummaged through more cupboards.

Rolling my eyes at the laziness of the people in Konoha, I placed the box onto the counter and walked over to a cupboard that I assumed had food in it since it was the only cupboard _not_ open.  
In little time, I found the ingredients that I needed to make pancakes.

"What are you doing?" she asked me, obviously confused.

"Making pancakes. Like you asked me to."

"But the box is eas…"

"I am not accustomed to such a lazy way in making pancakes. In Suna, this is how they are made. If you do not want them, tell me now and I will stop my actions immediately."

Staring at what I held in my arms: flour, milk, eggs, sugar… she shrugged and said to continue.

A few moments of blissful silence passed, but she broke it by asking, "Do you always talk like that?"

"Now you're complaining that I talk? I remember you would complain that I _didn't_ talk."

"No, I'm not complaining that you talk…it's just… you talk like you're informing the Hokage or the Kazekage of a mission that you were just on."

"That's how I talk." I said, returning my attention to the slowly cooking pancake in the pan.

"Why?" she asked.  
I knew that was coming…but stupid me, I had hoped it wouldn't.

"Because that's how I was taught to speak: to only speak when spoken to. Short, to the point sentences. And always in a respectful manner. _That_ is how the Kazekage's son talks."  
I paused then. I had unwillingly just repeated, word for word, what my father had once lectured me on once when I had talked out of turn growing up.

"Who told you that?"

Again with the questions. Flipping the pancake before I answered, otherwise I would have plunged the spatula into the girl's head… I said, "My father."

Making a face of disgust, Sakura returned to her task of cutting the potatoes and placing them into a pot full of butter, onions, and garlic. "He sounds like a dick." she said.

I was so shocked at her statement that I dropped the spatula onto the floor.

_No one_ had _ever_ talked about my father in such a manner…not even his children, and we had every right to…  
Calmly picking up the spatula off of the ground and washing it off in the sink, I found myself smiling slightly.  
"You have no idea." I said to Sakura as she noticed me smiling and returned the smile.

"That was amazing!" Sakura declared as she rubbed her now bulging stomach.  
She had eaten all of the pancakes, except for the one that I grabbed for myself. "Where did you learn how to cook?"

I just played with the leftover potatoes on my plate, avoiding the question.  
I had talked enough about my past for one morning…

"Hello…Gaara…are you in there?" Sakura said waving to me from across the table.  
I snapped my eyes up at her and she smiled back at me.  
"Welcome back." she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.  
"Are you going to answer my question? Or shall I annoy you with more of them?"

"If I answer your first question, will you start cutting back on them?"

She nodded in agreement and extended her hand out to me.  
I brought my sand up and used it shook her hand instead of using my own. I also had enough physical contact for one day as well…

"I learned how to cook at a very young age…" I said.

"How young?"

"I thought you said you were going to cut back on the questions?" I was becoming extremely agitated now.  
This girl would not stop questioning me!

"But these questions pertain to the original first question, so it's fair game…"

So that's how she was going to play.

Rolling my eyes, I sat back in my chair crossing my arms and said, "I was almost six when my Uncle stopped bringing me food to my room. I now assume it was because he had accepted my father's order, and no longer saw a reason to fake affection towards me. So in order to eat, I had to cook things on my own. After I killed him, I no longer trusted anything that anyone brought me to eat due to any kind of poison they could have slipped into it, so I just cooked for myself from then on."

"Oh…" was all she had to say. I could tell that she was sorry she asked.  
I got slight pleasure in this.

"All of the answers you give me are so miserable…" she said with a frown and leaned her arms against the table supporting herself.

"Would you rather I lied?" I asked her, finding amusement in her misery.

"No…I'm glad you tell me the truth. It lets me know that you trust me."

This girl had an uncanny way of shocking me.  
She was right…I _did_ tell her the truth about everything…so did I truly trust her?  
That concept alone was maddening.

"You're doing it again…" she said.

I was once again broken away from my thoughts and stared at the pink-haired one across from me.

"You got that look again…are you talking to…"

"If you're smart, you will _not_ finish that sentence."

My sand immediately jumped to life and Shukaku stirred within me at the implication of his name.  
_**Talking about me?**_ he asked as he shifted and pulsed within me.  
I grabbed my head, and forced him to disappear again…then it hit me, I was trying to protect this girl.  
She had started this attack to begin with, and here I was, _protecting _her.  
It seemed like only yesterday when I was fantasizing about her gory and repugnant death by my sand in that hospital room…so what had happened from then to now to change everything?

"Leave." I told her, barely getting the words out past my gritted teeth.

I heard her stand up from her chair cautiously.

I couldn't look at her, not that I didn't want to though…I wanted to see her scared. I wanted her to realize that she was the reason why this was happening to me. But due to the added pressure on my head and body, I was physically incapable of lifting my head up so that I could look at her.  
I expected that she was gone by now. Running scared down the streets to the Hokage.

But suddenly, I felt her hand on my back, pressing it lightly.  
I felt as she pulled my body into hers and gently moved me back and forth in a rocking motion.

"I'm sorry…I'm so, so sorry Gaara. Relax, it's okay…" she whispered into my ear as we continued to rock.

What the _hell_ was she doing to me?!  
I wanted her to stop.  
I wanted her to let me go.  
I wanted her to…keep doing what she was doing.

Shukaku eventually stopped his attack on me, but even after I had visibly stopped suffering, she continued to hold me.  
Once again this girl had reduced me to the weak child that had died years ago…  
I found that my hand was grasping onto her arm, begging her to not let me go.

"Gaara…when's the last time someone held you?"

Again with the questions, but this was an easy answer that didn't require any thinking at all on my part…  
"Never."

At my answer, her grip tightened on me and I couldn't think of any other time where I had felt more comfortable and more at home in my life…it was a peaceful feeling, and for once, that word "peace" now had a meaning to me.

We sat on the floor in silence for a long time.  
Eventually, I decided to end the torment that this girl was probably going through by holding me and said, "What did the Hokage want?"

Jumping slightly, she said, "I completely forgot! I'm supposed to bring you to see her as soon as I can!"

Loosening my grip and tearing myself away from her all too welcoming embrace, I extended my hand out to help her up as I said, "Then let's go."

She took my hand gladly and then fell into me and gave me another hug, one of which I responded to immediately and pulled her in so tight my senses didn't know where I ended and she began.

"Are you okay?" she asked me barely above a whisper.

Loosening my grip on her slightly, I asked, "Why do you show me so much kindness when everyone else shows me hate and fear?"

Smiling at me once again, she responded, "Because I'm not like everyone else."

I let go of her then and moved for the door. I had to get out of that house…  
When I noticed that she wasn't following after me, I stopped at her door and turned around. Finally catching on to what I was doing, she grabbed her bag off of the couch and ran after me. 

As we advanced on Tsunade's office, I slowly began to pick up the pieces of my normal self, and by the time we were at her office door, I was back to being the cold self that I usually was; Sakura didn't seem to notice however.

Before opening the doors, she grabbed my hand and smiled sheepishly at me, "I don't know how else to tell her…"

Before I could tell her to _not_ tell Tsunade, she had pushed open the doors and dragged me in after her…much to my disliking.

"Well, it's about time that you got here…I was beginning to think…that…you…got…lost." Tsunade apparently found it harder and harder to form words as she turned and found us holding hands.

Sakura straightened and stared at her Hokage proudly, I on the other hand, brought my hand to my forehead as an after-wave from this morning's attack rippled through it; this girl was bringing me more pain then pleasure it seemed.

"What's wrong with him?" Tsunade asked Sakura.

"He had an attack this morning." she replied.

I was amazed that these two women could talk about me as if I wasn't even in the room…

"Was anyone hurt?" Tsunade asked in a protective manner.

"No, no one was hurt at all…except maybe for him, but I helped him through it…"

"I can see that." Tsunade said motioning to our hands. "Does this mean that you two are now…"

"Yep!" Sakura said proudly, as if by dating me she was now the luckiest girl in the world.  
She couldn't have been more wrong.

"I see my plan worked then…I knew that if I left you two alone in that hospital long enough something would start to happen…"

So THAT'S what she was planning the whole time! My sand stirredand I cleared my throat agitated at the fact that I was being ignored, even though they both clearly knew I was in the room

"Why did you call me here?" I asked her. "Because it's clear to me that I do not need to be present."

"Relax Gaara." Tsunade said waving my comment away, "We're just having some girl talk is all. But let's get down to business. I called you here because I want you to help your siblings teach in Konoha's school when they return."

So my siblings were alive…but where had they gone? And WHY were they _teaching_?

"Where are they?" I asked.

Tsunade sat down behind her desk, put her hands together and explained, "They returned before you did, and when you were so far behind them, they got worried and went looking for you. I told them that if they didn't find you in 72 hours, then they were to come back and I would send out ninjas with them to help look for you. As an exchange for my agreement to help in your pending search, they said that they would help teach in our school until our teachers, who were injured during a mission, were fit to return. And I want you to help them."

Once again my siblings went to utterly idiotic extremes to watch out for me…

"Fine." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Good. They should be back by tomorrow night. Until then, make yourself at home in Konoha. We will meet again when your siblings have returned." and with that, she motioned us out of her office and returned to her paperwork on her desk.

Sakura was once again dragging me out of the room. When were down the hall, I violently wrenched my hand out of hers and pinned her against the wall forcefully.

"I told you to _not_ drag me."

She was too surprised to say anything, but I knew she was going to ask another dumb question along the lines of 'why not?'

"My uncle used to do it all the time when I was little…"

I released her from the wall and stared at the floor.

Rubbing the area where I had pinned her, she managed to smile at me and say, "I never asked you why…"

"You didn't have to, I knew it was coming."

"I'm sorry Gaara, it won't happen again. I had no idea…"And with that said, she reached out her hand halfway to me, clearly wanting me to make the decision to hold hers or not.

I was surprised at myself as my hand grasped hers and we continued to walk side by side through the streets of Konoha.

We returned to the field and my mood was darkened slightly now that I knew that I, once again, had to stay in Konoha for a while, Sakura apparently picked up on this because she asked me what was wrong.

"I don't want to stay here." I told her, unaware at the fact that such a statement could hurt the girl.

"Oh…" she said "is there someone at home waiting for you?"

I was taken back by such a statement. Of _course_ there was no one there waiting for me. How stupid could this girl be?!

"No, no one wants me to return, you already know this."

"Then why are you so anxious to return?" the 'and leave me' was implied in her eyes.

"Because…" and I trailed off there. Was I really going to explain to this girl why I wanted to return home so badly?  
"Because Konoha's culture is so much different from Suna's. I don't like it."

"How is it different? I always thought our two countries were almost exactly the same…"

I chuckled at her stupidity. "Our cultures are as different as our environments."

"How?" she asked.  
I looked at her, expecting to see an uninterested girl who was just making small talk for the sake of conversation. But when I saw the look on her face, I felt that she was genuinely interested in what I had to say.

"I can't tell you. There's just too much, I'd have to show you…"  
What was I doing? I was practically inviting this girl to return with me to Suna!  
Maybe that last attack from Shukaku had forced me to lose more of my sanity than I thought…

"I would love that." I heard her say, cutting off my train of thought.

I looked at her again, still amazed that this girl was so eager to learn about the ways of Suna.

"I love learning about culture and things. It would truly be a treat if you showed me around your home." she said.

"I never asked you why." I spit her own words right back at her.

Smiling at my verbal game, she responded, "You didn't have to, it was in your eyes…"

I suddenly had the urge to kiss this girl. I wanted to. I _needed_ to… closing the gap between our faces, I leaned in and kissed her. But this time, pressing our lips together wasn't enough for me, I wanted more…when her mouth opened slightly, I took advantage and grabbed her tongue with mine. I didn't know what I was doing since I had never done such a thing before, but she gladly and eagerly responded to my action, so I figured she liked it...  
Maybe keeping this girl around wasn't such a bad thing after all…

She pulled away slightly and laughed softly and shyly as she gently brushed her hand up my side.  
I jolted away immediately.  
My actions not only resulted in ruining the moment that had just consumed us, but also replaced the look of satisfaction on her face with one of worry.

"What was that?" I demanded harshly.

"What was what?" she threw right back, obviously confused.

"What did you just do to my side?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes you did. Hold out your hands."

She obeyed my command and innocently held out her hands towards me. Expecting to find her holding an object of some sort, I was surprised when I didn't find anything.

"What did you just do to me?!" I demanded again, confusion started to turn into malice.

"I just went like this…" she said as she walked towards me. I immediately backed away from her.

"Trust me…I'm just going to show you what I did…" she reassured me.  
This stuck me to my place, but why it did that, I don't know…  
Showing me her hands to prove that she wasn't holding anything, she ran her hands up my side again starting at my hip and ending by my armpit.  
I jolted away again, bumping into a tree and stared at her menacingly.

"What is it?" she asked me.

"You're doing something different…that feels weird." I informed her. "I don't like it, it makes me want to do something…"

"Like what?" she asked me.

I didn't answer, I only stared at the grass. I wasn't sure what it made me want to do, it caused my breath to hitch and my skin to crawl and shake. It was something I had never felt before.

Stepping forward again, she asked, "What does it feel like?"

"Like sparks and spiders." I informed her. I figured she was a medic nin, she could tell me what was wrong.

A slow smile crept to her face and she reached out her hand again, "Let me know if you feel it anywhere else."

Lightly she brushed her fingers over my arms, my back, my neck, and my legs. All resulting in nothing but the feel of her fingers against my skin. But once she got to my side again, I jolted away from her touch.

Now she was almost laughing at me…was she doing this on purpose? It was obviously amusing her...

"What's wrong with me?" I asked her.  
I wanted this sensation to go away, I had no use for any kind of physical flaw that my body held.

"My diagnosis is that…you're ticklish." she said again and nodded at me.

"I'm what?" I asked her confused.  
I had never heard of such a thing.

"You're ticklish." she repeated.

When I only stared at her, she explained, "Most people are, but some people aren't. It's just a physical thing that gets triggered when people touch that sensitive spot, it makes them want to laugh and run at the same time."

This 'ticklish' thing didn't sound like a good thing to me.

"Fix it." I said and extended my arms out so that she could more accurately get to the problem.

"I can't." she said, "There's no cure for it really…you just have to live with it I guess."

"Unacceptable." I told her and again motioned for her to fix me.

"Gaara…there's really nothing that I can do for it. Just make sure that no one touches you there and you'll never get that fluttery feeling that comes up. That's laughter by the way."

"That's what that feeling is?" I asked her as I returned my arms to my side.  
I had never experienced happy laughter before, just pure blood-driven, malice filled laughter.

Again she nodded at me and flashed me a smile which quickly turned to a sad one.  
"It's amazing that you don't know any of this…did you ever have a childhood?" she asked me.

Taking a deep breath and reflecting on my past, I nodded slowly to her question.  
"My father started my formal ninja training as soon as I could walk. But before that, I lived like a normal child…I played with my toys like normal children would I suppose."

I could tell that she was delighted at the fact that I was once again telling her secrets from my past. She walked over to me and motioned for me to sit on the ground with her once again. I hadn't noticed that it had gotten so late because the sun was now setting. This girl made me lose track of time completely...

Once seated, she asked, "What was your favorite toy growing up?"

I smirked slightly and had my sand pull out one of her kunai from her pouch. I dropped it into my hand and showed it to her.  
Her face showed alarm and repulsion as I showed her my favorite toy growing up.

"That's not a child's toy!!!" she all but yelled at me.

"It was for me." I said staring at the weapon thoughtfully as some fond childhood memories came flooding back to me. "I used to play with this for hours. Chucking it at anything I could. My favorite game was throwing my teddy bear into the air and pinning it to the wall with this."

Sakura shook her head. "Now a _teddy bear_ is a child's toy. _That_ is a weapon." and she motioned to the kunai.

I handed it back to her and shrugged, "I didn't know any better. If father told me it was a toy, then it was a toy."

"So basically, your training started as soon as you were born and you never had a childhood." she said sadly.

"It was a childhood to me." I told her firmly. "It was the happiest time in my life."

"Do you still have your bear?" she asked me, she was obviously trying to make this conversation better.  
But really she was unknowingly digging it a deeper hole.

I shook my head 'no'.

"What happened to it? Did you stick it too many times with your _other_ favorite 'toy'?" she asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

I returned my stare to the sky and said quietly, "After my Uncle's assassination attempt, I was attacking everything that moved. If the wind blew my curtains, I attacked them. If a stray animal moved behind something in the street, I killed it. Obviously I had gotten too far out of control; but I was afraid for my life and I was so young…I didn't know any better. I was constantly on my toes and alert for any other assassins. One night, my father came to my room and tried to reassure me. He told me that he had made no such order for my uncle to kill me and to not worry. He grabbed my bear to reiterate his point and started to move it around in the best playful way that he could. When I had relaxed enough for his judgment, something shot out of my bear and came straight for me. My sand blocked the attack obviously, and I threw my father out of the window and blocked all the entrances to my room…he had managed to destroy what was let of my faith in humans and my other favorite toy in one feat."

As I returned my gaze to Sakura, I could tell that I had just annihilated all of her happiness for the night.  
Smirking slightly at her, I returned my gaze above me once again.

"Then I guess there's only one thing left to do…" she said as she scooted closer to me.

I eyed her suspiciously.

"I'll have to show you what a real childhood is like by having you have one now."

"No." I said as she lost all of my interest. "I have no use for such a thing."

"You have no idea how much you _need_ this though…it might make you feel better. I think I'll start with….this!" and her hands jetted forward, aiming for my sides. But my sand armor is the only thing that greeted her mischievous fingers.  
I could see the disappointment on her face.

"You still don't trust me…" she said.

"And you're still afraid of me." I responded.

"I am not." she said openly offended.

"When I took your kunai using my sand, your heart rate quickened to a pace which means that you're afraid." I stated coolly. "You're still afraid of me."

She didn't have a response for that…she knew I was right.

"I don't blame you. You should be afraid of me."

"Oh? And why's that?" she asked, regaining her defiant composure.

"Because being around me is like being around a domesticated tiger. I may not bite now, but something will trigger my natural behavior, and I'll revert back to the monster that I am."

She huffed and stood up quickly. She started to walk back to her house and threw an offhanded comment about going to bed and feel free to come back whenever.  
When she wasn't too far away from me, she turned around and threw a verbal kunai at me.

"Tell me Gaara, how many times did they have to call you a monster before you accepted such a title?"  
And with that knife plunged deeply into my side, she turned around once again and made her way back to her house.

I stared wide eyed at the ground in front of me. Why did she have to ask all of these stupid questions that made me think about things I have never thought of before!? I didn't like it…  
As I sat there, licking the invisible wound that she had given me, hours passed.

I heard quiet footsteps approaching me and knew it was her. Her scent had reached me on the wind long before she had.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, hesitation apparent in her actions and her voice. She had obviously realized what she had said to me during her fit of anger while she was at home and decided to come out and see if I was still here.  
Which, surprising even me, I was.

"Gaara…I didn't mean it…I was frustrated with everything and I…"

"Once." I said, breaking off her apology. Apologies were worthless to me.  
Usually I didn't let people live long enough to even give me one, but this girl was different for some reason…

"What?" she asked, stepping closer and crouching down next to me.  
She was shivering in her thin pajamas and I could visibly see bumps on her arms and legs.

"The first time someone called me a monster, I knew I was different from everyone. But it took me until I killed my Uncle to prove that they were right."

I felt her arms wrap around me, but they didn't give me any warmth since they were colder then the wind that was blowing around us.

"You're not a monster," she whispered into my ear. "You're just misguided."

"And you are cold." I said as I stood up.

Before she could say anything, I had transported the two of us inside of her house using my sand.  
I sat on the couch and motioned for her to sit by me, and she did.  
I wrapped my arms around her tentatively, half expecting her to push me away; when she didn't, I pulled her into me and let my body heat warm her up.

By the time she was warm, she had fallen asleep.  
I knew that moving her to her room would once again wake her up, so I decided to just stay there and let her sleep against me.  
After all, it's not everyday that someone lets me near them while they sleep, let alone hold them.  
Something swelled in my chest and pushed against my ribcage, and I knew it was caused from this girl.

"What are you doing to me?" I whispered into her ear.

She only pushed herself closer to me, and I brought my gaze to the window and stared out of it, waiting patiently for morning...and silently wishing that it would never come.


	12. Chapter 12

**okay folks, i need everyone's input on this chapter...i went into some Suna culture that i just pulled out of my ass...er...imagination. yeah, that's it...my imagination.  
so i need to know if you like it or not. if not, i will be MORE than happy to rewrite this chapter...i just thought i would do something a little different since everyone knows the story of Naruto and such...**

**so please let me know!  
thanks everyone once again! i send you all my love and gratitude!**

**:-)**

* * *

The lessons that Tsunade had us teaching were pointless and tedious.  
We were in charge of the littlest kids in the school…needless to say I sat in the corner of the room the entire time we were there.

Temari encouraged me to help them, but I shook my head 'no', "This is something that you agreed to, I'm only here because of your stupidity."

Every now and then, Sakura would stop by in-between her training just to say 'hi' to all of us, and to see if we needed anything.  
I'm still waiting for her to bring me new siblings…

At night, I would disappear from the company of Temari and Kankuro and join Sakura. To say that we had grown 'close' might be an overstatement, especially since I have never become close to anyone. But our interaction with each other had grown into more of a need for me, instead of the curiosity it had started out as.  
And for some reason, I didn't seem to mind.  
It had become almost second nature for me in the past few days to just make my way over to her house when class was dismissed.

My siblings constantly asked me where I was or where I was going, but I simply dismissed them with a small motion that could have been interpreted as a wave, and kept walking away from them.  
I knew they wouldn't understand my new fixation.

"Where are your siblings?" Sakura asked me one night.

I shrugged, "Around."

"Do they know you're here with me?"

"No. They wouldn't understand."

"Understand what? That you're capable of being close to another person without killing them?"

I nodded as my answer. "That and…they wouldn't understand this whole 'dating' thing..."

I could tell that she was confused, "It's the same thing as it is in Suna."

Shaking my head I responded, "In Suna there is no 'dating'."

"Then what do you call it?"

I could tell that this girl had _no_ idea about our culture…

"We simply procreate for the sake of the village. You find a worthy partner, have a child, then move on to the next one. You have as many strong children as you can for the sake and well-being of the village. Especially since most babies do not live beyond the years of five due to the harshness of our climate. Foreigners that visit our village often say that our nights are often hotter then our days in only good ways..." I couldn't help but smirk at this.

The look on Sakura's face was a mixture of utter shock and confusion.

"So you don't date…you just sleep together and have children…well, what about marriage?"

I shrugged once again, "Marriage is usually reserved for the political persons in Suna. Marriage to us is more of a business proposition then anything. Most marriages are arranged in order to strengthen the bond between two countries or the bond between two different ethnic groups in the village. Everyone can get married of course, but who would want to assign themselves to one person when you can have multiple persons all your life?"

"Love is what would cause that." Sakura said, her ignorance of Suna was shining strongly now.

"That emotion doesn't exist in my village. It's the mutual respect and shared notion of survival that keeps our town from tearing itself apart."

Sakura seemed like she was trying to soak up the vast difference between our two countries.

"So why did you agree to date me then? Because I'm telling you now that I'm _not_ having children yet…"

"Relax. That was never my intention to begin with."

"Then why?"

I didn't know how to put this delicately. I knew that she was easily angered and hurt by my words, but I didn't know how else to say this, "I thought it would be a fun…experiment."

That's when she blew up. Once again she stood up huffing and stormed off. Rolling my eyes and sighing I waited a few minutes and then transported myself into her house since I knew the door would be locked.  
I found her ranting to herself in incoherent words.

"You're upset." I said coolly.

She jumped and let out a loud yelp, apparently she hadn't noticed my entrance during her tantrum. But she quickly recomposed her anger and directed it fully onto me.

"I'm upset? I'm _upset?!_ Gaara, I'm far from upset…livid is more along the lines of describing my emotional state right now. All this time I thought that maybe, just _maybe,_ I could possibly mean something to you just like you mean something to me. And now I find out that it was all just this little experiment that you thought might be interesting to do?! You can't treat people like that! You can't just play around with them like little toys and then leave them scattered on the floor when you're sick of playing with them!"

Throughout her whole rant, I remained calm as I leaned against one of the wall.

"You misunderstood me." I said calmly, contrasting greatly the heightened emotional level that she was at.  
"I meant it started out as an experiment, but now…it has grown to something more."

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she responded in a much more even tone laced with anger, "Like what?"

I smirked at her then, "A lifestyle change."

Her jaw dropped open. I pushed myself away from the wall and slowly approached her.  
Closing her mouth with my finger I asked, "You said that I mean something to you. Is this true?"

A blush crept onto her face as she tried desperately to avoid eye contact, "How can you even ask me that…you should know that you do."

"Thank you." I said.

She looked at me confused.

"I've never meant anything to anyone before. Thank you."

Taking another deep breath, she smirked at me once again and then leaned in to hug me.

Standing in the middle of her living room, her body pressed tightly against mine, I heard her mumble into my chest, "You said that marriage is reserved for the political bodies of Suna, was your father's marriage arranged to your mother?"

I stiffened then. This was going to be a long explanation that required dragging up a lot of buried family history and secrets…  
"Yes it was."  
But that apparently didn't stop me from telling her the story...

She pulled away from me slightly and looked at me to encourage me to continue. I let go of her and motioned to the couch.

"It's a long story. You may want to sit down."

She swiftly sat down and I once again leaned against a wall. Once situated, I continued with my story.

"In Suna, there are two major ethnic divisions. There's the original Sunans that were there when the village was created, and there's the people of the dunes that joined the village after it was created. The Duneans' presence in the village brings tension and discourse to the other villagers because they are different from them. They were raised in the dunes of the desert and they are different from the Sunans by not only beliefs, but also by cultural practices.  
The Duneans are usually identified by their different hair color. Sunans usually have light or dark brown hair, Duneans usually have blonde or raven black hair, but every now and then a person with red hair will be born. There's a legend among the people that any Dunean that takes the life of his mother will have red hair and will be a natural fighter throughout the course of his or her life. I know that such a story is ridiculous, but it can't be ignored that every red head that has lived in our village has been excellent in the craft of war.  
Decades of discourse and atrocities haunts the two groups, and when everything was about to be lost due to the constant warring, a peace treaty was made when my father, who was a Sunan, married my mother, who was a Dunean. The people resisted this union at first, and the hatred between the two people continued. But eventually the Sunans came to realize that the next Kazekage would be half Dunean as well as Sunan, so they slowly began to tolerate it.  
However, as in _all_ of the arranged marriages of the Kage's, neither party was happy. It was well known that my father often had mistresses that he didn't try very hard to hide from my mother. My mother was no saint either, there were rumors that she had a secret lover who was a Dunean, although he was never found and they were never discovered together. He was rumored to have red hair... I'm convinced to this day that if I didn't look so much like my father, he would have long ago dismissed me as a bastard child and thrown me out of the village.  
Marriage to us is a contract, so when that contract is broken by weaknesses of the flesh, the guilty party is often punished…usually by death. The people could not fathom putting my father to death since he was a well loved and respected Kage, but they had no problem with pointing the finger at my mother, whether she was innocent or not. Her punishment is standing right in front of you now…"

I could tell that Sakura was on the verge of tears.

"Everything sounds so hopeless in Suna…" she said as she visibly fought off the wetness that haunted her eyes.

"We do what we must to survive. Nothing more, nothing less." I responded crossing my arms.

"So that's why you have red hair and none of your siblings do…it's a recessive gene…"

I nodded at her assumption, "Or you could believe the myth if you like. It's more of a romantic idea that way, and you seem to like such things."

That earned me a glare.  
But the perfectly good glare was ruined when her face softened as she asked, "What did your mother look like?".

I thought a moment and then said, "I've only seen pictures of her, but from what I can tell, she looked like Temari, only minus the scowl that often graces her face. That scowl is a trait from my father."

"She must have been beautiful then." Sakura said thoughtfully, obviously trying to picture my mother in her head.

"My mother was the strongest Dunean kunoichi and was renowned for her beauty. She was also gifted with foresight. That was what her clan was known for, the ability to see the future. Most Duneans have an ability to foretell things, something that the Sunans feared them for. There are lots of false rumors about the Duneans that started out as fact. For example, there's a rumor that Dunean woman can hypnotize you while they dance. Once hypnotized, they have free reign over you and will do whatever they please, things ranging from robbing you to slitting your throat."

"And that's not true?"

"No. But their dancing _is_ known to bring the most powerful and morally strong man to his knees." I smirked at this too.

"Can you see into the future?" Sakura asked me, obviously curious at such a gift.

"No. But it is where I received the ability to create my third eye."

Her mouth formed a silent 'oh' and then she smiled at me.

"You were right, our cultures are night and day from each other…tell me more."

I removed myself from the wall, and sat down next to her on the couch. Reflecting for a moment on another difference between or villages, I said, "The Kazekage position is usually inherited by a male offspring of the Kazekage himself. The position is a family heirloom, not one that just anybody in the village can have."  
"So that means either you or Kankuro will become Kazekage?"

I smirked at this and shook my head 'no', "Can you imagine the two of us in such a position?"

"Well, maybe not Kankuro…but I can definitely see you as one!"

"Don't play games with me." I said becoming agitated.

"I'm serious! You're strong, intelligent, politically minded, and seem to have a deep love for your country whether you admit to it or not. You would be a great leader."

"One that would be feared and mistrusted by everyone." I added in.

"Well, that's something that you have to work on."

"I cannot change what I am Sakura. Both sides hate me because I'm a half-breed and because I house Shukaku. In order to change their opinion of me, I'd have to change my genetics and everything else."

"Are you ashamed of your heritage?"

"Of course not!" I replied a little too harshly, "my ancestors do not shame me, I shame my ancestors."

"Gaara…you're one of the strongest shinobi. How could you possibly shame your ancestors?"

"Because, due to my inability to control Shukaku, the tradition of passing on the Kazekage title has been eliminated and now the village hangs in indecision and is left vulnerable to any attack that could come at any moment. A rift is slowly starting to form…and I'm the main cause of it."

"The only possible thing that I can see causing this rift is everyone's inability to see who you really are."

"You don't know me Sakura. You don't know the things I've done. Those people have every right to hate me after the fear I made them live in the past six years. I terrorized and killed just because I could, and no one could stop me."

"But you're different now!" she yelled at me, putting me once again into calm reflection.

She was right. I was different. I was changing everyday, and it was all because of her…but what would happen to me once she was removed from my life? Eventually I would have to return to Suna and she would remain here.  
Would I revert back to my old ways once again? Reflecting on the last time I returned to Suna, I went on another rampage, killing an elder and his entire platoon of guards. I was worried that this might happen again…  
For once I was actually worried about something…

What did Naruto do to me during our battle to make these emotions come out of me all of a sudden? Everything was fine until I fought him…now everything is upside down. I don't feel right in my own skin anymore, and that's never a good thing. My skin feels too tight on me all of the time.

And this girl. This STUPID girl. Who was she to come into my life all of a sudden and change things more so then they already had been? I never gave her permission to violate my world.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked quietly, squeezing my fists together tightly.

"Doing what?" she innocently asked me.

"EVERYTHING!" I yelled as I stood up from the couch forcefully. My sand jumped to life and slithered all around me.

"Why do you always ask me stupid questions that make me rethink my views on my life?! Why do you treat me with such blind kindness when you should just run away?! Why do you accept me and ignore all of my flaws?! I never gave you permission to do this to me! I never said that you could reach out and touch me and change my life!!!"

During my rant I didn't notice her standing up and walking towards me.

When I looked up, she was staring at me calmly as my sand was pinning her against the wall. Apparently she had went to comfort me but my sand reacted and attacked her without my knowledge.  
Seeing her against the wall made me feel like my stomach was digesting my heart.

Releasing my sand, I watched as she fell to the ground and held her wrist. There were little cuts and scrapes where my sand had been holding her, and her wrist was bent in an unnatural angle…

"I hurt you." I said plainly.

"It's not so bad, it was my mistake, I shouldn't have moved so quickly to you."

I just shook my head at her, "You're missing the point Sakura…_this_ won't stop. This is how it's _always_ going to be. I will control and you will get hurt or get killed. You were lucky I didn't kill you this time…I can't control it."

"Yes you can. I _know_ you can. You just have to believe within yourself that you can do it…"

Again I shook my head and went to leave. I had to get out of there before I ended up killing her.

"Don't go." she said as she stood up from the floor. She had apparently healed her wrist and cuts already; but the smell of her sweet blood was still lingering around us.

"I have to go. Otherwise you'll get hurt worse."

"Don't run away…that's not a solution. Things aren't going to get better if you keep running from everything."

"What would you suggest I do then? Stay and kill you? I don't want to do that."

"Why? I thought you wanted to kill me. You used to threaten me with it all the time…"

"I don't want you dead."

"But _why_?"

"I…I don't know. I just know that your death would not make me feel any joy like death usually does."

I was so confused inside…I didn't know up from down.

Fixing my eyes on her I asked, "When did you become so important that your blood in my gourd isn't as good as your breath on my skin?"

Smiling at me, she walked over and disarmed me by giving me a hug.

"I love you too, Gaara."

My eyes widened at her. That is NOT what I had said…but was it what I meant? Could it be possible that I loved this girl? No way…that word is as foreign to me as respect. But my lack of emotional attachment did not take away this girls feelings for me…

She wanted me.

She trusted me.

She believed in me.

She loved me…

"What are you going to do when you return to Suna?" she asked me, her breath running across my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"I don't know. But I think I'm going to try to change how people see me. I don't want everyone to be afraid of me anymore…I want to be…accepted. Like you accept me."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. I believe that you can do it, Gaara. You have the ability within you."

"How did you change my life's goals?" I asked her, the room was spinning around me and the scar on my forehead was throbbing. My grip on her tightened so that I would not be spinning like the room was.

"I didn't. I just showed you what you were denying to yourself all these years."

"I hate you." I said as I pulled her even tighter into me.

"I know." she said as she ran her hand over my back in circular motions. "I know…"

* * *

Our teaching ended one day in the middle of the afternoon when the original teachers walked into the classroom, beaming at their students as they played their favorite game: Try to Touch Sensei Gaara.  
This is a game that Temari and Kankuro thought up of that, not only got me involved, but also helped to train the students.  
What would happen is I would sit in the corner as usual doing whatever I wanted, and the students would try to get past my sand guard and try to touch me.  
Needless to say, none of them even got close.

The game would go on all day as the students came up with new and even creative ways to get around my sand. And since the kids were so small and unthreatening, I didn't have to worry about my sand retaliating and killing one of them, which would put Tsunade into a rage. I didn't even mind the game all that much, just as long as I kept them at a safe distance…which was about the classrooms length away from me. I liked this distance because I didn't have to hear them whine and talk to me.

When I saw the teachers enter the room, I dropped my sand guard and started to walk out of the room with Temari and Kankuro close behind me…our debt here was repaid. We were going home.

What I hadn't counted on was all of the kids, who had been working almost all week at getting past my sand guard, rushing at me in order to win the game.

I heard a stampede of freakishly small feet rush at me and I put my sand up just in time to stop them…well, _most_ of them.

My neck felt slightly heavier as I looked down and noticed a small blonde haired girl wrapped around my neck, beaming at the fact that she had dodged my sand. I grabbed the girl by her shirt collar, pulled her off of me, and put her back onto the ground and pushed her gently away with my sand. She laughed and cheered as she joined her classmates and I rubbed my neck where she had touched, disgusted at the stickyness that she had left behind from her afternoon snack.

"That was the cutest thing I've ever seen…" Temari teased me.

"Before we know it, he'll be waving at the crowds and kissing babies…" Kankuro joined in.

Shooting them both a look as I continued to remove the sticky goo that was attached to my skin, I muttered a comment to the children quiet enough so they couldn't hear, "repugnant little vermin…" and then turned to leave once again, this time with my sand swirling around me in order to stop any other attacks.

Tsunade was outside of the school waiting for us to come out.

"Once again, it was a pleasure to have you in Konoha, the children loved your lessons."

I rolled my eyes at this as Temari and Kankuro beamed.

Tsunade continued, "I'll have some shinobi escort you to the gates. Have a safe journey home. Until we meet again…" and then she turned and walked back to her office.

As we were walking down the path that was about a mile past the gates, I heard a familiar voice calling after me.

"Gaara! Wait!"

It was Sakura…

I looked to the side at my siblings who were staring down the path curiously at the girl who was calling after me.

Gasping for breath by the time that she had reached us, Sakura managed to get out, "I thought I was going to miss you…Tsunade had me training so hard today…but I snuck out to say goodbye."

Then she gave me a hug and asked, "Is it okay if I still write you?"

"I think it wouldn't be okay if you _didn't_ write me."

She smiled at this, gave me another hug and then ran away in the direction that she had just come from.

The silence that was emanating off of my siblings was deafening.  
I knew I was never going to hear the end of this…

"One word from _either_ of you, and you're crow food." I said as I continued to walk down the path.

Walking in front of my siblings, I let a small smile grace my face.  
_I wonder what her next letter will say…_ I thought to myself  
_**Nothing interesting probably.  
**__The silent one speaks…_I mused.  
_**I already told you, I'm not going to interfere with this. I'll let you learn this lesson on your own, otherwise you're never going to learn to not trust anyone. Although I have to say, I never expected the girl to fall in love with you…**_

The smile widened slightly on my face.  
Yes…  
I am loved…


	13. Chapter 13

**FIRST and foremost: did everyone see the new shipuden episode?! there is only one word that can describe it..._AMAZING.  
_Anyways, i'm glad that you all liked that last chapter...i was a little worried about the whole background story on Gaara that i made up, but everyone said they liked it, so i'll keep the chapter the way it is.**

**here's the next chapter! i LOVE you ALL, for you are ALL amazing.**

**:-)**

* * *

Upon returning to Suna, I transported my gourd to our house and covered myself with a long robe with a hood that I had bought off of one of the vendors in Konoha. I didn't want people to know that I had returned yet, I wanted to see what it was like to walk down the street and not have everyone around me react. I told Temari and Kankuro to go on ahead without me, which they did without question.

As I walked down the street, I watched in fascination how everyone around me went about their business without pause of fear.  
I was simply dismissed as a passerby.  
Vendors went about their business selling their products and trying to attract my attention to their shop. Street dancers shimmied themselves at me, some even brushed up against me…that had never happened before, usually they would stop dancing and run away.  
A pack of children ran dangerously close to me as they chased after each other laughing and yelling.  
But one of the stragglers didn't cut around the corner fast enough to avoid running into me.He hit me square on, knocking himself over and knocking my hood off.

Immediately the vendors stopped their yelling, the dancers' music stopped and the jingling from the bells attached to their clothing stopped with it.  
Life around me stopped and silence echoed off of the walls.  
Everyone around me was waiting…  
waiting for me to react.  
Waiting to die.  
Waiting for me to kill them all.

I heard a woman scream as a crowd of people held her back. This boy must be her child…  
I looked at her curiously as she fought with the people that were desperately holding onto her. Did they really think that I would kill such a pitiful boy? Then I remembered, that if I hadn't changed, I probably would have...he probably would have been dead already. Months ago, this boy would have been dead before he hit the ground, and his mother wouldn't be fighting against the crowd but would only be getting comforted by it.

When I reached down and picked up the boy by his shirt collar and set him, once again, onto his feet…everyone gasped.  
Then, as if this was a normal every day occurrence, I just walked away..  
I heard as the mother desperately yelled at her child as he sobbed in response.  
I knew that I should return to the house since my cover was blown…

Leaving the confused crowd that had gathered behind me, I transported back to my home where the smell of another burnt dinner greeted me before I had even set foot into the house. Nearing the door, I could hear Temari and Kankuro screaming at each other.  
As I opened our door, smoke billowed out at me and I fought off the urge to gag at the stench that I was sure would haunt our house for at least a month…

"Welcome home to me." I said to myself as I walked into the war zone, "welcome home indeed…"

* * *

Surprisingly, Sakura wrote me once a week.  
At first, I figured she would do it for a month and then grow sick of it and stop doing it.  
But the letters kept coming.  
At two months, I told myself that she would grow tired of writing and never getting a response back…so then she would stop.  
But the letters kept coming.  
At four months, I decided that any day now she would find someone new to dote and swoon over and would stop writing.  
But the letters kept coming in and kept getting longer and longer.

She would tell me about her week, and about Tsunade's training and all of the interesting things that she was learning. She said that I had sparked something inside of her that made her want to change herself as well; and she was determined to be as good, if not better, then Tsunade in the medical field.

At six months, I finally decided that I should maybe respond to one or two of her letters once in a while, so that she knew that I was receiving them. My only problem was, I had never written a letter.  
The only formally written documents I had ever written were reports to my father or the elders about missions that I had been on…and that's exactly what my first letter to Sakura was like.  
In it, I described in short and precise sentences how my training was going and how the villagers were slowly starting to lose their fear of me.  
I knew it was a pitiful excuse for a letter, but I couldn't think of anything better to write…

After I mailed my letter, I received _two_ letters a week, and Sakura got one once a month…maybe.

My letters remained in report form because that is what I was comfortable with. Each letter was maybe ten lines at the most, unlike hers which sometimes took up a whole scroll; but she never complained about it once.

But one day after training, I decided to stop at a nearby vendor for dinner since I knew that Temari was cooking again. After I was done eating, something happened that had never happened before: the owner gave me a bill.  
I looked at it confused at first, expecting it to blow up on me or something, but when I saw that it was just a normal bill, I gladly paid it. I had _never_ been asked to pay for anything _ever_. Most people were too afraid to make such a demand from me and my bill usually fell onto my siblings, much to their loathing.  
But suddenly this man was asking me to pay!  
This overwhelming butterfly feeling crept its way into my stomach and I felt lighter for some reason even though I was tired from training.  
I knew that all of my training and efforts were paying off and the village was finally starting to accept me…and I had to tell someone.

I couldn't tell my siblings, because they would only laugh at the fact that I was excited about paying for something.  
So I decided that Sakura would be the one I would tell about this since she was the catalyst to this whole changing thing anyways.

Not even bothering to go threw the front door, I jumped into my bedroom window and grabbed a blank scroll. I quickly jotted down what had happened and stopped halfway through when I noticed that my writing was not only more relaxed in form, but had taken up half of the scroll already…  
Stunned, I dropped it to the floor and stared at it as if someone else had written it.

After about an hour or so of staring at it, I quickly finished up the letter and mailed it.  
What was happening to me? I had just written a _normal_ letter.  
Everything was so different in my life:  
I was becoming stronger then anyone could have possibly imagined due to my training.

Shukaku hardly talked to me or bothered my anymore.  
Every now and then he would give his usual quip about something, but he no longer haunted my mind with overpowering bloodlust.

The village was slowly starting to respect me.  
I could now walk down the street without anyone running away in fear.

The elders were no longer giving me missions in which they used me as a tool.

My siblings and I were becoming closer then ever…I had confided in Kankuro about my new outlook on life and my goal of becoming Kazekage.  
And Temari was nothing but supportive in her own little ways; every now and then during training she would sometimes sneak by and leave an extra water canteen for me.  
It was little things like that that reminded me that they really did care for me and this wasn't just some big act.

Sakura still wrote me letters, which let me know that she still was mine and no one else's.  
This fact stuns me, but I accept it none the less.

I also noticed that the girls in the village were often whispering and pointing at me as I walked by.  
When I asked Temari about this, she only laughed at me and made some offhanded comment about changing my name to "Gaara the Heartbreaker". This confused me because I hadn't killed anyone in a long time…when I asked her what it meant she only laughed again and said that I had so much to learn.  
So I dismissed the whole idea.

Every now and then I received a letter from Naruto...

Everything was going right for once…and I was waiting for it to come crashing down around me…  
I was never the one to have things go my way.  
That seemed only reserved for Naruto…he was the one who was accepted and loved and had friends while I was left shunned and abandoned in my own hell.  
I was the hated one.  
I was the feared one.  
But not anymore.  
Now I was the one who was becoming accepted and loved…

That word alone brings about a whole barrage of emotions mostly directed towards Sakura…I was so grateful to that girl for what she had done for me, I don't think Ill ever be able to show it… 

One night while I was reading one of Sakura's letters, I heard a timid knock on my bedroom door.  
"What?" I demanded.  
No one had ever knocked on my door before except for Kankuro and Temari when the knocked their goodnights to me.  
"Can we talk?" I heard Temari's muffled voice through the thick wooden door.

Using my sand to open it, she slowly walked in and sat down on the edge of my bed.  
That was probably the first time someone had used the thing…

Looking around the room and soaking up her surroundings she said, "I don't think I've ever been in your room before…"

"Not since I was little…" I said as I rolled up the letter and placed it on my desk. "What did you want?"

"Nothing really…it's just been such a long time since we've had a talk…so I figured since I wasn't busy and you weren't busy, now would be a great time to have one…"

"Temari, why are you here? There has to be a reason because, as my memory serves me, we've _never_ had a talk."  
That took the air out of her lungs.

"Alright, you caught me. I came here to talk about this…girl that's been writing you… What is she to you?"

I didn't have an answer for her. My siblings now had a higher respected role in my life…but I was still hesitant to trust them on certain subjects, and this was one of them.

"She's a friend." I said shortly and cautiously.

"Just a friend? Because I have friends as well, and _none_ of them write me twice a week…"

I turned my gaze to the floor and started to ignore my sister. I was trying to decide what was appropriate to tell her and what wasn't…would she use this information against me?  
Or would she just keep it to herself?

I heard her sigh as she stood up and opened the door.

"She believes in me Temari."

Temari closed the door once again and returned to her position on the bed.

"Go on…" she prompted.

Rolling my eyes at my sister's nosiness, I continued, "She says that I can overcome all of the obstacles that stand in my way and…" I stopped there.  
Would my next sentence be taking my newfound trust too far?

"And…" Temari prompted once again.

"She says she loves me."

Temari let out the girliest scream I had ever heard come from her and she lunged towards me and locked me into a big hug.

"I knew it! Oh, I'm so happy!!! Congratulations Gaara! She seems like a nice, honest, intelligent girl…she's quite the catch!"

"Temari, you're strangling me…" I said calmly as I tried to push her away.

"Do you love her?" she asked me as she let me go.

A shrug was the only answer I was going to give my sister, but I couldn't stop the slight smile that crept its way onto my lips.

Squealing and strangling me in a hug once again, Temari went on a verbal rampage on how exciting this was.  
Only this time, I couldn't get her off of me…  
Eventually I had to resort to using my sand to pry my sister off of me as I pinned her against the wall.  
That calmed her down, but she was still beaming at me.

"You cannot tell _anyone_ about this." I hissed at her. "The last thing I want to happen is for someone to use her as leverage to make me do things for them…"

"Your secret is safe with me…just promise me one thing Gaara."

"What's that?"

"Promise me you'll wait a few more years before you start having kids…I'm just adjusting to dealing with one of you, I don't know if I can handle little Gaara's running around right now…"

At that, I pushed her out of my room with my sand and slammed the door in her face.  
I muttered quiet obscenities directed towards her as her laughing echoed down the hallways.

* * *

The next time I saw Sakura, we were both on a mission to rescue my student Matsuri.  
Our only actual interaction was when she came over to heal me.  
Nothing was said between us, we just looked at each other.  
Words weren't needed…

After I was healed, my siblings and I returned to Suna.  
Sakura was off on another mission and I couldn't help but notice the disappointment that echoed throughout me.  
But I knew that she was busy on a mission.  
And I also knew that one day I would see her again…

I was determined to show Sakura and Naruto that their beliefs in me weren't in vain, that it had went to a good cause…  
I would become the next Kazekage. And no one was going to stop me.

* * *

Sometimes, all her letters would say is that she missed me.  
And that made me think that maybe there was a slight chance that I missed her as well.  
But this thought only made my insides feel slow and achy.  
I had never been missed by anyone before…people usually celebrated my absence from their village, including my own; but not Sakura…

My inner sadness was also reflected in Suna. I watched as it slowly began to implode on itself.  
The sun had been especially cruel this year so the crops had failed, which meant that a famine was inevitable.  
Also, the rainy season was late, so our water supply was running dangerously low.  
The village was falling apart.  
It was only a matter of time before everyone turned on one another and destroyed everything… something needed to be done, and quickly.

During one of the meetings held by the elders, I burst in uninvited and demanded that something be done.  
I yelled at their incompetence as leaders pointing out that the village was crumbling before them while they just stood by and simply talked.  
The school that we had started for the children who were to become shinobi was doing well, but that was the only improvement made to the village; and most of the students weren't showing up anymore because their parents needed them to forage for food and water.

"We're trying our best." the head elder told me.

"Well it's not good enough!" I said as I slammed my fist down on the table, cracking it.

I watched as the elders tensed at my action. I may not have been as feared as I once was…but I was still effective.

"Leave the village to us Gaara, we have more important things for you to take care of for us…"

"Like what?" I asked suspiciously.

"We want you to kill this man." the head elder said as he handed me a picture of a foreigner who I had seen in the village a few days ago.

"Who is he?" I asked as I handed back the picture.

"That doesn't matter. All that matters is that we want him dead. So go do it."

"What has he done to deserve such a sentence?"

"He insulted me." said the head elder.

My blood began to boil once again…it hadn't done that in a very long time.  
_**You see boy…all of your efforts were for nothing. They still see you as their tool…  
**_Shukaku was right…  
All of the sadness that I had expelled from my body returned because in one small order by the elders all of my training and actions to better myself and my image were erased…  
I was still their tool.  
I would always be their tool.  
And no matter what I did, nothing would change that fact…

I gave up then.  
I decided that I would deny their request and face the punishment which was probably death, but I found that to be comforting...  
I may have been born a tool, but at least I would not die as one…

"No." I said crossing my arms over my chest and placing my feet in a firm stance.

"What?" asked the head elder, apparently he wasn't hearing right today.

"I said no. I will not kill this man simply because he insulted you. If you feel so insulted, you kill him. I will no longer carry out your stupid laundry lists of things to do."

"Tell me, Gaara, if I had said that this man had insulted our village, would you have killed him then?"

"Yes. Insulting you means nothing to me, but insulting our village is an entirely different matter."

The elders exchanged looks then and some of them nodded slightly.  
Something was going on…was this some sort of a trap that I had not recognized?

"Then the council has agreed, Gaara… you will be the next Kazekage."

After that announcement, everything seemed to speed up.  
I stared wide-eyed at the floor while the elders explained their reasoning for this decision…I didn't hear most of it though, I felt like it was all just some big joke.

I was in a daze as the announcement was made to the villagers, and I felt like I watched from the outside of my body as they all cheered.  
I could tell that there was a slight hesitation from them, but I didn't let it bother me…I had fulfilled my goal.

Both of my siblings were proud of me.  
When I told Temari the news, she cried, and Kankuro's face became thoughtful and he patted me on my back; which reminded me of how events had unraveled and lead me to where I am today.

I decided that in order to show both ethnic groups that I supported them, I would allow them both to hold their Kazekage initiation ceremonies.

For the first ceremony, I put on the Kazekage robes for the first time.  
I stood in front of that full length mirror and stared at myself, but it wasn't me that I saw in the mirror, it was my father.  
Temari and Kankuro reacted the same way, only they tried to cover it up.

"Wow…Gaara, you look great!" Temari said.

"I'm taking them off." I said and started to undo the robes.

"Wait! Don't do that…leave them on, they really do look good." Temari said as she reached out and grabbed for my hand.

"I look like him." I said and stared back at her coldly.

She let out a sigh and looked back and Kankuro for help.

"Gaara…" Kankuro said, "all three of us have bad memories of our father in those robes…now it's up to you to bring us some good ones."

They had won this one…  
but I wasn't completely defeated yet, "I am _not_ wearing the hat."

They both smirked at me then, "Good," Kankuro said, "it makes you look like a walking tent anyways."

When they left the room, I reflected on everything.  
The village now trusted me enough to support me as their Kazekage, and I knew that I would do everything I could to protect them.  
This village was mine now.  
Mine to protect.  
Mine to improve.  
Mine to love…  
And that's exactly what I would do.

I _had_ to tell Sakura. I knew that she would be elated at this news…but I didn't know how to do it.  
I decided that writing her a letter was to impersonal after all she had done and was still doing for me; and there was no way I could go visit her right now due to all of the work I had piled up…so I decided that I would wait for the right time.

* * *

"So, Kazekage-sama…" said the head elder one morning over a mound of paperwork that I was doing, "we did something to fix the problem. Now what will _you _do."

Putting down my pen and looking the man straight in the eye, I responded, "Tell Tsunade that I wish to have a meeting with her in order to discuss our alliance."

Gasps and murmurs were heard throughout the room as the elders all quietly voiced their opinions with one another.

"Tell her," I continued, "that I wish to meet with her in Konoha alone, without any other council members."

That brought protests from everyone.

Raising my hand to silence them all, which surprisingly worked, I ordered, "Do it."

There was a slight pause, but then the elders slowly shuffled into life and carried out my order.

"Temari," I said to my sister who was sitting smugly in the corner of the room smirking at the squawking elders, "you will be in charge while I'm gone. I trust you to do what is in the best interest for Suna."

"Yes Kazekage-sama," she said as she got up and bowed towards me.

My sand jetted out at her in order to stop her actions immediately.

"Don't do that, you're my sister, you do not bow to me."

Smiling at me slightly she nodded slightly and said, "As you wish Kazekage-sama." Then she turned to leave my office.

Her actions were learned from years of our father insisting that we bow and call him Kazekage…"afterall," he had said, "what kind of an example am I setting the village of my own children do not respect me in the correct fashion?"

"Temari, one more thing…"

She turned around and looked at me curiously.

"It's Gaara to you, not Kazekage-sama…"

Her smile grew at this and she turned to leave once again.

"As you wish…Gaara."

When the door closed I smiled.  
Soon I would meet with Tsunade and if all went according to plan, I would bring this village something it has never had before: a life without the worry of hunger or thirst.  
A life without the worry of invasion.  
A life of peace…


	14. Chapter 14

**i find that the more i'm supposed to study for my final on monday, the more inspired i am to write...  
hmmm, coincidence? i think NOT!  
so here's a new chapter...  
BlackKanji, i put some shukaku-ness in here for you! plus a little surprise near the end... ;-)  
and for all of those who want to see more gaasaku-ness...it definitely kicks into high gear from here on out!  
:-)  
so enjoy!**

* * *

I told Tsunade to meet me outside of Konoha's gates, alone.  
Konoha was informed that a new Kazekage had finally been appointed, but they were never told who it was.  
Not wanting to cause mass hysteria when I entered the gates, I decided that wearing the hat with the robes would be acceptable this _one _time since it covered my face and no one would be able to tell it was me until I wanted them to know.

I went alone to Konoha, and I expected Tsunade to be alone waiting for me as well, since that was the condition I had made.

As I neared the village, I saw the blonde woman standing impatiently outside of the gates with her arms crossed and her foot tapping on the dirt path.

She was agitated.

As I neared her, she uncrossed her arms and took a deep breath.  
I could tell that she was about to yell at me about the conditions that I had made, after all, it was unheard of to meet in such a manner.  
In order to stop her speech before she even started it, I made a quick scan of the area to make sure she was completely alone, which she was; then I removed my hat.

Tsunade's face went from agitated to surprised to smug.

Crossing her arms in front of her once again she said, "I had a whole speech meant to berate the new Kazekage on the conditions he set up for this meeting. But now that I see who the new Kage is, I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

"Hokage-sama" I said as I bowed to her.

"Oh please, there's no need for such formality between the two of us…call me Tsunade."

"Only if you call me Gaara…I hate being called Kazekage-sama…it's just too…"

"Formal." Tsunade finished for me.

I nodded in agreement.

"You're doing well then Gaara?" she asked me.

I nodded once again.

"Does Sakura know about…this?" she asked as she motioned towards the robes I was wearing.

"No. I figured I would tell her while I'm here."

"Then you had better put your hat on while we walk to my office…the whole town is wondering who the new Kazekage is; and believe me, you don't want Sakura to find out through someone else…"

I nodded in agreement once again as I placed the hat back on top of my head.

"Shall we?" Tsunade said as she motioned to the gates.

I walked up next to her and together we entered into Konoha.

Everyone seemed to be alongside the streets straining to get a glimpse at me.  
Their curiosity amused me.  
Pink flashed in my peripheral vision, and I forced myself not to look…for I knew that any kind of recognition towards Sakura would give me away…but avoiding her presence was so hard all of a sudden.  
I felt as something snapped inside of me and warmth spread through my entire being just at the thought that she could be nearby...  
My insides jumped and clawed at me, begging me to look over at the girl…but having great self-control, I kept my eyes trained ahead of me as Tsunade's office got closer and closer.

Once inside of the her office and I heard the door shut behind us, I flung the wretched hat onto a chair in the corner of the room.

I heard Tsunade chuckle at me, "You don't like the hat either, huh?"

"Do you?"

"I…uh…'lost' mine." she winked at me.

"Hn. Maybe I'll 'lose' mine too." I said.

That made Tsunade laugh once again, "I see you've grown." she said as she walked towards me.  
Putting a hand on the top of my head and looking down on me she added, "more in spirit then physically I see…"

I gave her a glare as she cracked open the door and asked one of the guards outside of it to fetch Sakura.

"You might want to put the hat back on…it'll be more fun that way." she said as she winked at me.

"I can do one better." I said as I transported myself onto the roof outside of Tsunade's office.

After a few minutes, I heard a knock on the door, and I heard Tsunade tell Sakura to enter.

"Yes Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked.

Hearing her voice once again sent chills down my spine and my skin itched to feel hers once again.

"I have some news for you…it concerns Gaara."

"What about him?" Sakura asked.

"Something has happened…"

"What?! What happened?! Is everything okay?" Sakura asked frantically.

I couldn't take it anymore…she was worried about me, I _had_ to show her that I was okay.  
I had to comfort her.  
I had to feel her skin against mine.  
I had to inhale her.  
I suddenly wanted her to invade every sense I had…

As I transported myself into the room behind her, I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me.  
When she was secured against me, I whispered, "I'm now the Kazekage."

I felt her tense and then relax against me and then tense once again at my words.  
She spun around to look at me, her eyes wide with surprise.  
She reached out and touched my face with her fingertips.

"You're really here…" she said as she played with my hair once again.

Her fingers twisted and stroked my hair and I tried to remember why I use to hate it when she did that…

Her hand moved down to my robes and gently stroked the material.

"You're…it's…"

I grabbed her hand and held it in mine, "All thanks to you…"

Tsunade cleared her throat and it broke us out of the spell that we were both engrossed in.

Remembering my surroundings and the reason why I was here, I turned my attention to Tsunade and said, "I believe we have some business to attend to."

"If you like, we can do it later…you two can catch up. After all, it has been a long time since you've last seen each other."

"No. What I'm here for cannot wait." I turned to Sakura then and said, "I'll find you when we are done."

It hurt to tell her that, all I wanted to do was stay with her and hear her voice re-tell me everything that her letters had told me…but I'm the Kazekage, my village comes first before everything; and she needed to know that.  
She flashed me a small smile and nodded at me. Then she exited the room.

I heard Tsunade sigh as she said, "So what's so urgent Gaara?"

I turned to look at her grimly.

Tsunade sighed again, "It looks like I'll be drinking later than usual tonight…"

"Tsunade, you and I both know that ever since the Chuunin exams and our attempt to destroy Konoha, our alliance has been shaky at best. What I'm proposing is a plan to strengthen this alliance."

"Alright Gaara, you've got my attention. Go on." Tsunade said as she leaned back in her chair crossing her arms.

"What I'm proposing is an agreement that will not only strengthen one of your allies but will also give you more power over it then you've ever had before…"

"Why do such a thing? Wouldn't that put your village at risk?"

"Because I know it's the only way that you will agree to such an offer. Also, if you break your word, it will not destroy Suna, it will just make life more difficult…which is something that we overcome everyday." I smirked at this.

"What are you proposing?"

"I propose that Konoha aids in supplying Suna with food and water. Our crops have failed and the rainy season hasn't come yet. We are entering into possibly one of the worst droughts and famines our village has ever seen…we need help, otherwise Suna will perish. We cannot survive without your aid…  
I know that Konoha has an infinite supply of water and a hefty supply of food that risks going bad almost every week. Give us your extra food, give us your extra water…and in return I promise you our aid in whatever problem you ever face without question or pause, all you would need to do is request it. And we both know how much more efficient my shinobi are at killing then yours are…"

Tsunade leaned forward onto her desk and said, "Your father never asked for such a thing. Going over the documents of the Third that have been filed away, he offered your father on more then one occasion for such aid, all of which your father declined. And now you're here asking for it...why is that?"

"My father was a proud man, he would have rather seen his village suffer then to accept aid from another village. It was his pride that brought about his downfall. I, however, am not so proud. I will do anything necessary in order to secure the safety and wellbeing of my village; even if that means whoring out our services as shinobi."

"You're a born natural at this Gaara…" Tsunade said.

I stared at her intently as I waited for her decision.  
Silence filled the room as Tsunade rolled the idea around in her head thinking of any downfalls to such an offer.

"I agree." She finally said.

I tried not to show my surprise.  
I had just won my first proposal without a long drawn-out meeting.  
My people would no longer be hungry or thirsty.  
My village would thrive thanks to Tsunade's aid, and I was one step closer to bettering Suna.

Bowing steeply I said, "Thank you, Hokage Tsunade-sama…you do not realize what you have just done…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" she said waving away my thanks.

"Let's go celebrate our strengthened alliance with a drink!"

I smirked at the woman and nodded. 

At the bar, Tsunade sucked down her alcohol as I sipped at my water.

"I remember when I first saw you in that hospital room…" Tsunade reminisced. "There was blood everywhere and I thought you were dead. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried to get the bleeding to stop, it just found another place to come out of…when I told your siblings there was nothing I could do for you, they told me that that was unacceptable.  
They had that cold hard look of determination that forever haunts your eyes…and I knew that you would make it. I didn't know how, but I knew that you would live. And now look at you. The Kazekage…who would have thought…" and with that she sucked down another glass of sake.  
"Listen to me talk…you don't even want to be here. Go on, get out of here…Sakura is waiting for you."

I looked at Tsunade questionably…she had just read my mind.

She smiled at me then. "What are you still doing here? Go on…but before you leave Konoha, come see me and we'll discuss how our new agreement can be arranged so that Suna is receiving food and water immediately."

I nodded at her again.

"Thank you Tsunade." I said once again and then walked away from the bar as she ordered another drink.

There was no need for me to search for Sakura, I knew where she would be at: the field.  
The place where this whole thing started.  
The place where my changing began.  
The place we always seemed to migrate to even when we didn't want to…

I found her sitting underneath the tree that I had once attempted to rip out of the ground.  
She was leaning against it and staring up at the sky.  
The sun had set a long time ago and the stars were shining above us…

I stared at her silently since she was still unaware of my presence.  
She was prettier then from what I remembered…she seemed to have matured in the time that I hadn't seen her.

"The stars are better in Suna…" I said as I revealed my presence to her.

She looked at me and smiled, "So I've heard…I was told that once by a redheaded boy in this same exact spot…"

"And what happened to that redheaded boy?" I asked her as I sat down next to her.

"He left and became a man…" she said as her smile softened. "You took off your robes…"

I nodded, "I don't like to wear them, they bring back too many bad memories."

"They look good on you though." she said as she nudged me with her shoulder.

I went to say something to her in response, but I found that as soon as I looked at her I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"What?" she asked, totally oblivious to the effect she was having on me…

Throwing discretion to the wind, I grabbed a hold of her head and pulled her in for a kiss that had been building up since I had left her here…a kiss she eagerly responded to.  
Minutes passed but they were mere milliseconds to me.  
It had been too long since I had last done this…

Pulling away from me she asked breathlessly, "How long are you in Konoha?"

"I leave tomorrow."

"Hmm…" Sakura hummed, she was clearly disappointed at this news. "Then I guess we'll have to make the most out of the night then, won't we?"

Just when I thought that this girl couldn't possibly shock me anymore…she did it once again.  
I looked at her closely, looking for some trace of hesitation or fear…but I only found longing in her eyes.

I opened my mouth to ask if she was sure about this decision, and maybe she should think about it longer…but before I could get a word out, her lips were covering mine once again and my thought process ceased.

"How about for one night we don't ask any questions…"

I smiled then and said, "I never thought I'd here you say that…"

Then I surrounded us with my sand and transported us back to her house. 

We spent hours expressing to each other just how much we had missed the other…  
It was a night of gentle caresses.  
Frantic tumbles.  
Soft moans.  
Sweet sweat.  
And gentle reassurances.  
When we were finally exhausted, the sun was starting to come up.

"You don't have to stay here. You can go if you want…I understand. Just laying here must be boring while I sleep."

Pulling her on top of me so that she was now using me as a pillow, I brushed the hair out of her eyes and said, "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She laughed quietly at that, "The last time you said that, you were in my living room staring out of the window…and you were in that same exact spot when I woke up."

I smiled at her memory, "Go to sleep."

She said something else, but since she was already half asleep, so it just came out as incoherent mumbles.  
As she was sleeping, my peace was disturbed by a voice of the past,  
_**Well, look at this…I leave you alone for awhile and look what happens to you…  
**Shukaku…it's been a long time.  
__**I decided to take a little breather…it's hard work bugging you all of the time. I have to make sure you don't get too use to me you know...  
**__I could never get use to you. You're too annoying.  
__**Be careful boy, or I could make it so you make this girl bleed more than just the virgin blood you already spilt from her...  
**__What do you want._ I snapped at him.  
Leave it to Shukaku to ruin everything...  
_**I just wanted to have a little chat…especially about all of these recent developments in your life. How weak have you become boy? The village no longer fears you, you're the new Kazekage, and now you've been lured into this girl's bed?! You're just asking for betrayal…you haven't grown stronger, you're weaker then you've ever been…  
**__Using your definition of being weak, yes, I am much weaker. But in my definition of the term…I'm stronger then I've ever been.  
__**Tsk, tsk...what would your mother say…**_

That's when I closed my mind to him.  
But I felt as my insides vibrated…he was laughing at me.

It was way past noon by the time Sakura woke up.  
She looked at me and smiled a sleepy smile, "Good morning." she said.

"Good afternoon." I said back.

She made a face and said, "It's that late already?"

I nodded. "I have to leave soon."

She made another face and said, "I know."

"But I have to see Tsunade before I go…I could use an escort...otherwise I may get lost along the way..."

She was smiling once again, "Let me get dressed and then we're on our way." 

Sakura waited outside of Tsunade's office while we worked out the final plans for our new agreement.  
If all went according to plan, Suna would have water and food in the next few days.  
I thanked her once again and then left.

Sakura walked me a little passed the gate where we were forced once again to separate.

I pulled her to me and asked, "No regrets right?"

"Never." she said as she was kissed me.

I couldn't take it anymore.  
If I stayed any longer I wouldn't be able to leave…  
So I transported myself up onto a branch near her.

I watched her as she looked around for me.  
Then I watched as she sighed and walked slowly back into Konoha.  
Each step she took felt like her foot landed directly onto my chest.

Before she entered the gate once again, I transported behind her and asked, "So what is it going to take for me to get you to come back to Suna with me?"

She turned around, surprise written all over her face, "I thought you left!" she said as she pulled me into a hug.

"You didn't answer my question."

Letting go of me, she motioned towards the Hokage building and said, "Just as long as it takes me to pack and get permission from Tsunade."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her down the road with me. "You can buy what you need in Suna."

"Wait, Gaara…I need a pass to get into Suna! And Tsunade needs to know I'm leaving as well, otherwise she'll think…"

Turning around to look at her once again I held out her pass to her. "She already knows."

A smile filled her face and we began walking once again.

We stopped for the night when we were about halfway to Suna.  
Normally I wouldn't stop, I would just keep traveling; but I knew that Sakura needed to rest.

Deep into the desert, we intertwined with each other in order to stay warm.

"You're right…" she said as she drifted off to sleep once again, "the stars are better out here…"  
And then she faded to sleep.

The wind howled around us, and a voice that shook me down to the core spoke softly and sweetly to me…I knew it was my mother.

**Gaara…  
****Gaara my son…  
Gaara my love...  
****What are you doing?  
****Have I taught you nothing?  
Have you not learned from my past and what your father did to me?  
****How could you possibly trust someone to truly love you?  
****She will only betray you in the end…**

_She's not like him, mother…she would never…_

**Gaara…that's exactly what I told myself…  
I said that he would never betray me or our vows…and look what he did to me.  
He turned the whole village against me after I gave them _everything_ I had.  
I sacrificed my life and happiness to marry that man so that Suna's people could live in peace with each other…and they all turned on me and sentenced me to…**

_Have me. _I finished for her.

**My love…**  
The wind circled around me and as a wisp of sand caressed my cheek.  
Sakura shivered in her sleep and pulled herself closer to me.  
**I have never regretted your existence.  
I am the only one who acknowledged you when everyone else feared you...  
You have brought me great joy in carrying out my vengeance…until now.  
****Do _not_ disobey me.  
Kill this girl.  
Bring the desert rain with her blood and baptize it in my name.  
Destroy Suna.  
Bring the people fear and torment that not even the most sordid mind can imagine.  
And I will forgive you for your recent mishaps.**

_No mother, I will not.  
I have grown up, and I'm no longer yours to control.  
You no longer exist for me…you are dead.  
You died years ago._

_**NO! YOU WILL NOT DENY MY EXISTANCE!!!**_

_Goodbye mother…_

Suddenly a sandstorm raged all around us, and I quickly protected Sakura and myself with my sand.

"What's happening?!" she yelled over the screaming wind.

I could sense my mother's spirit in the storm, but I didn't want to tell her…

"It's just a sandstorm." I told her.  
At my words, the storm got worse.  
I pulled Sakura closer to me.

_Rage all you want mother, I will not back down._

The storm got louder and stronger, but then it stopped…and once again everything was serene and still around us.

"That was crazy!" Sakura said as she stood up and looked all around for the storm, which was no where to be seen. "Does that always happen?!"

"Sometimes." I said, "usually you can see them coming. But sometimes, they just appear out of nowhere and then disappear as quickly as they had come."

"I have so much to learn…" Sakura said as she sat down and curled into me once again.

I smiled slightly and looked back up to the sky.

"Sakura…" I said quietly.

"Hmm?" she responded.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

She pulled herself closer into me and whispered, "No…thank you."

Eventually she drifted back to sleep.  
I scanned our surroundings and found no one around.

Tomorrow we would reach Suna and I would not only bring the news to the village that food and water was on its way, but I would also get to introduce Sakura to my life and my world…  
Of which I hoped she would embrace and be a part of forever…


	15. Chapter 15

**Booyah! another chapter!  
thanks for all of the awesome reviews everyone!  
you all rock my world...**

**:-)**

* * *

The Suna people did more then welcome Sakura into their everyday lives…they embraced her.  
It was as if she was once a beloved member of this village who was lost and then found again.  
Their patience was never-ending with her as she occasionally made mistakes that would normally offend people.

And Sakura was willing to learn everything about Suna.  
Every sentence out of her mouth was a question about why people did this or what that was used for…she even wanted me to teach her our native language which was only spoken in our village and few people outside of the village knew of.

Everyday she would wake up and immediately go outside and explore Suna…which made me nervous.  
It wasn't very hard for everyone to realize that she was special to me; and that in order to get to me, they could easily use her.  
And I couldn't be with her all of the time since I had my duties as the Kazekage.  
But Temari helped out and said that she would go with Sakura and answer her questions while I was tied up at work.

One afternoon when the people started to go inside to escape the midday heat, Sakura joined me in my office and brought me some lunch.

"Temari said you liked these." she said as she handed me a stick filled with salted lizard tongues. "But if you ask me, that's disgusting…"

Taking a bite out of my lunch, I watched her reaction with amusement as she physically gagged.

"And to think I kiss you…" she said offhandedly as she sat down in the chair across from my desk.

"Learn anything new today?" I asked her as I glanced over another scroll that was littering my desk.

Sakura shrugged, "Not really. Temari took me down this one street…oh, what was it called?"

I couldn't help but smirk at her while she tried to remember the name of the street that Temari had taken her down. She was biting her bottom lip and I could hear as the gears in her head turned.

"La Cour! That's what it was called!"

My face went from amused to stunned to angry.

"She took you down that street?!" I said a little too harshly.

Sakura's excitement disappeared completely as she sank back into the chair slightly.

"Yeah…why? What's wrong with that?"

Cursing at my sister's stupidity, I said "Because it's a dangerous street Sakura! There's nothing but thieves and cut-throats down there. You both could have been killed or worse!"

Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I closed my eyes and turned my head away from her.  
I heard as she stood up from the chair and walked behind me, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her head on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"I just told you." I said agitatedly as I pulled out another scroll, skimmed it, and then signed it.

"What's the _real_ reason you're upset?"

I looked at her then, giving her a questioning look.

"I know you, you only ever get upset when you over-think a situation…"

"I am not over-thinking this."

"I can take care of myself you know…"

Damn her.  
She was right…she _can_ take care of herself.  
But that wasn't the point. She wasn't seeing the big picture!

"You don't understand." I said as I turned away from her again.

"Then help me to."

Sighing I stood up from my chair and walked away from her.  
Turning on her I said roughly, "Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just _maybe_ someone could try to use you against me?"

"What do you mean?"

"If someone kidnapped you and held you hostage, they could demand anything from me and I would have to do it. I would be powerless to do anything and I don't like that feeling. I wouldn't be in control of the situation and I can't be out of control…not again. I've lost control before Sakura and I'm doing whatever I can to make sure it never happens again."

"But you wouldn't have to do everything they tell you to…"

Sighing and shaking my head, I walked out of the room and said loud enough for her to hear me, "but I would."

* * *

She found me on the roof staring out over Suna. 

"You forgot your lunch." she said as she hesitantly stepped onto the slanted surface. "It's probably too cold to eat now though…"

"Leave it." I said monotonously, "I like it cold anyways."

She made her way over to me and sat down taking in the view.

"I'm sorry Gaara. I didn't realize it was such a dangerous street. I begged Temari to take me down it since it's one street I've never seen before."

"Just promise me you won't go there again."

"I promise…"

We sat in silence for a while watching the people below us.

All of Suna was so much more lively now that everyone had a steady supply of food and water.  
Even the beggars looked thicker and had the energy to change street corners.  
The Ninja Academy was teeming with kids once again. I was even considering adding on to the building since it was filling up so quickly.

In every aspect, Suna was flourishing.  
An immense sense of pride washed over me as I realized that I was the one who had helped that happen.  
Even the elders didn't have any criticisms for me.

"Gaara…" Sakura broke in, interrupting my thoughts, "what does 'daemon domito' mean?"

Looking at her curiously, I asked, "Who said that?"

"First tell me what it means, and then _maybe_ I'll tell you who said that."

I smirked at her stubbornness, "It means demon tamer."

"Oh…"

"Now who called you that?"

"Don't hurt them Gaara…"

"Why would I hurt them?"

"Aren't you mad?"

I shook my head, "Why would I be mad? It's the truth."

"It is not!" she said defiantly.

"Sakura, if I had never met you, this village probably would have extracted Shukaku and killed me years ago. And the people know and recognize this, so it's no wonder they call you that…because that is what you are."

"Well, _I _think they're giving me too much credit…"

I chuckled softly at her defiance for receiving compliments, "Are you hungry?" I asked her.

"Not for this." she said as she motioned to my salted tongue.

"Come on," I said as I stood up and held my hand out to her, "let's go get you something to eat."

"What about your paperwork?" Sakura asked as she pulled herself up using my offered hand.

"I can do it tonight while you're asleep."

Pulling her to me, I transported us down to the street and then began walking to the various restaurants that had recently been built now that there was more food to cook with.

* * *

That night, Temari and Sakura talked excitedly in the kitchen while Kankuro and I relaxed in the living room. Kankuro was repairing one of his puppets that he had broken during training and I was going over a few of the scrolls that I had brought home with me. 

Breaking the silence, Kankuro asked, "So how are those old men treating you?"

"Hn."

"Oh really?! You don't say…wow! That's interesting! They did _WHAT?!_" Kankuro carried out the conversation sarcastically.

I looked up from my scroll and glared at him for a while.  
When he finally grew uncomfortable and returned to repairing his puppet, I answered, "They went behind my back and invited Tsunade to visit."

Putting down his tools, Kankuro gave me his full attention, "When is she going to be here?"

"Tomorrow." I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers, fighting back the building pressure that was accumulating there.

"Do you know why they invited her?"

"No. The only reason why I know she's coming is because she sent me a scroll saying that something came up in Konoha, and she had to leave a day later."

"So she was supposed to be here today then…"

I nodded.

"Does Sakura know?"

"I don't think so. I haven't told her anything."

Kankuro only smiled at me.

"What?" I asked as his smile kept growing.

"You know Gaara, _I'm_ the older brother…I'm supposed to have kids first."

My eyes grew wide at his statement, he was insinuating that Sakura was pregnant!

"That's not possible, we've been…care…ful." As I continued talking, Kankuro's smile grew bigger and bigger…I had fallen into one of his traps.

"So you two ARE having sex! I knew it! Temari owes me money!"

I rolled my eyes at him and returned to reading the scroll that I was still holding, "You may be the older brother, but I'm more mature then you'll ever be."

"Are not!" Kankuro coughed in defiance.

"At least I don't play with dolls…" I said smirking behind the scroll.

"That's it! You're dead!" he yelled and moved to attack me, but only found himself glued to where he was sitting since my sand had unknowingly traveled to him and wrapped itself around his legs.

"What's the matter Kankuro? Does the truth hurt?" I teased as he struggled to reach me.  
I was just out of his reach and watched in amusement as he stretched and pulled in order to gain that extra inch in order to be able to reach me.

"Temari!" he yelled at my sister.

"WHAT?!" her voice spat out from the kitchen, obviously agitated.

"Help me get Gaara!"

"Coward." I muttered to him.

Temari came out of the kitchen with her hands on her hips, Sakura following closely behind her.

"What did you do Gaara?" she demanded.

"Nothing. Kankuro and I were just having a discussion about his dolls…"

Kankuro's grunts grew louder as he struggled even harder against my sand.

Temari smirked at me and said, "Did you tell him to stop talking to them? Because otherwise no one is going to want to hang out with him anymore…"

Kankuro shifted his eyes between the two of us and then sighed in defeat.

"I hate you both…" he muttered.

"Oh, but Kankuro… we _LOVE _you!" Temari said as she stuck her tongue out at him.

Sakura laughed behind her back.

"Be glad you don't have any brothers Sakura…see what I have to put up with?" Temari said as she rested her arm on Sakura's shoulder.

Sakura nodded in agreement and then laughed again.

* * *

Later that night, Sakura was reading a book on my bed while I was sitting at yet another desk and going over the few leftover scrolls from the day.  
But I found that I couldn't concentrate…she was distracting me. 

Knowing by now that I shouldn't fight it, I got up and walked over to the bed.  
Crawling on top of her and kissing the back of her bare shoulder I asked, "What are you reading?"

Glancing at me over her shoulder, she said, "A book on Suna's history."

"Boring."

"It is not! It's really interesting actually…"

"That book is full of lies. They're just stories meant to make us feel better about who we are as a country and glorifying all of the atrocities that we've done to other villages in order to get to where we are today."

"Oh really…" Sakura said as she rolled over onto her back and wrapped her legs around me, "then what should I read in order to get to the truth?"

"The books in the Kage library." I said as I rubbed my hands over her smooth thighs and knees.

"I didn't think I was allowed to go in there…"

"Normally you wouldn't be allowed to since that room is full of secret documents and books, but I give you permission. So feel free to read until your heart's content." I rubbed my fingers behind her knees, tickling one of her ticklish spots which caused her to laugh. "It's one of the perks of dating the Kazekage." I smirked at her.

"No…" she said as she grabbed a hold of my shirt and pulled me down on top of her, "this is…" and she pulled me into a kiss that sent hot ice throughout all of my nerves.

I glanced at the scrolls out of the corner of my eye and I knew that I wasn't going to finish them…

_There's always tomorrow._ I thought as I deepened our kiss and stretched myself fully on top of her. _There's always tomorrow…_

* * *

In the morning, I found myself restless. 

Sakura was still sound asleep and I paced back and forth in our room.

Why had the elders summoned Tsunade behind my back?  
What were they planning?  
Did Sakura know she was coming? Was she a part of this?  
What was going on?

I had to have answers, but as I watched Sakura sleeping, I found that I couldn't wake her up no matter how desperate I was for information.  
So I sat in the corner on the floor, staring at her, waiting for her to stir.

When Sakura finally woke up, I watched as she stretched and yawned feeling for me on my side of the bed. When she found the spot cold, she sat up and looked around the room.

"Good morning Gaara…why are you on the floor?"

"Tsunade's coming today." I cut right to the point.

"She is!? It's been so long since I've seen her!" Sakura said as she excitedly jumped out of bed and got dressed. "There's so much I have to tell her and so much I have to hear from her…why did you summon her?" Sakura said as she calmed down suddenly.

"I didn't. The elders did."

"But you knew about it though, right?"

"No."

"Oh…what do you think it's about then?" she asked nervously.

"I don't know." I said as I stood up from the floor and walked towards her. "I was hoping you could tell me."

Sakura only shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly to relax my nerves, I looked at her once again and said, "Get dressed. We leave in a half-hour."

* * *

Foreboding consumed me as Sakura and I neared my office.  
I knew Tsunade was already here and that she was in a meeting with the elders…I was informed this by a guard outside of my house. 

As we neared me office, I heard their voices talking monotonously through the thick wooden door.  
Pulling it open, all conversation stopped and all eyes were on Sakura and I.

"Kazekage-sama. Good you're here…and Sakura as well! How perfect!"

Sakura rushed towards Tsunade and gave her a hug, one of which Tsunade enthusiastically returned. Pulling a chair out besides her sensei and Hokage, Sakura sat down at the large circular table.

"Do you make it a habit to invite the Hokage without my knowledge or permission?" I asked the head elder who started to shrink away.

"No, Kazekage-sama. It's just that together the Hokage and us have been discussing one more step that will strengthen our alliance even more so then it already has been."

"Oh really." I said flashing Tsunade a glare and then directing it back to the head elder, "and what might that be?"

"Perhaps you should sit…"

"I'll stand." I said harshly as I cut him off.

"Very well." the head elder said, bowing to me.  
I was beyond agitated at this point.  
The conniving rotten old bastards were coming up with treaties behind my back!?  
They would pay for this…they had to be shown that I would _not_ tolerate such insubordination.

"We have proposed that you marry a Konoha kunoichi. And since the Hokage has no offspring of her own, it has been proposed that you marry someone who is like a daughter to her…Sakura."

I stared daggers at the man.  
Who was he to determine my future for me…

I saw out of the corner of my eye as Sakura's jaw dropped open and looked at Tsunade to confirm the elder's statement.  
Tsunade only nodded at her.  
Sakura then turned all her attention onto me, I could see hope and happiness in her eyes.

I wish I could share her feelings.

"No." I said flatly.

I saw as Tsunade twitched along with the elders.  
Sakura, on the other hand, seemed to cave in on herself.

"I will not marry this girl."

"But Kazekage-sama, we thought that you two were…"

"First," I cut him off, "you go behind my back and come up with a treaty with the Hokage of Leaf. Second, you don't even tell me that the Hokage is coming to Suna. Third, you think you can just decide my future for me?! I should have you all imprisoned for insubordination…"

"Kazekage-sama…"

"I'm not finished!" I said as I turned my full anger on the man, he slowly backed away, creating as much space between him and me as possible.

I spared a glance at Sakura.  
She was just staring at the table in front of her, fighting back tears.  
Tsunade was gently and discreetly rubbing her back to comfort her, but not wanting to show the elders this weakness for the girl as well.

"I will not marry this girl on political terms. I know how all of your political marriages go…they are just another tool for you to use in the name of Suna; but really it's just to have another nation wrapped around your greedy fat fingers; and I will not allow it. Not this time."

The room was dead silent, everyone was focused on me…except for Sakura.

"No. I will marry this girl because I _want_ to marry her…"

The elders and Tsunade gasped at my statement.  
They all knew how binding marriages were in Suna. There was no getting out of them, there were no divorces, you were with that person for the _rest of your life._  
No matter what.

"For that reason and…" I said as I stared at Sakura who was now looking at me. "If she'll have me of course."

The tears that she had been holding back spilt from her eyes and hit the table.

Wiping her face hurriedly, she directed her attention to everyone in the room and said, "Leave us."

"Sakura, I don't think that…" one of the elders started, but was cut off when Sakura demanded more strongly, "I said leave!"

I stood in my place as I watched as everyone in the room filed out of the doors, leaving the two of us alone.

"Sakura, I know that…" but my explanation was cut off by her lips as she jumped on me and wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me down to her height..

I couldn't help but smile, "I'll take that as a yes."

She nodded her head over and over again as tears kept rolling down from her eyes.

Wiping them away with my fingers I warned her, "You know how marriages are here…we would be bound together until one of us dies; and even then you are not allowed to get remarried or be with someone else ever again…"

"I know." she said as she ran her fingers over the back of my neck.

"You would have to move here…Suna would be your new home. And because I'm Kazekage, children are required…so if you don't want…" I was cut off once again by her lips against mine.

"I know, I know, I know…" she said as she rested her forehead against mine. "I read all about marriages already."

I smiled at her then, "So you really want to do this?"

"The book didn't tell me how many times I have to say 'yes' in order for you to stop asking…" she smirked at me.

Smirking at her as well, I pulled her in for another kiss.

"So I guess we'd better tell them, huh?" Sakura said as she motioned at the door.

I shrugged at her, "You kicked them out. You bring them back in. After all, you are now above them in status and power…"

Sakura gazed at me, shock written all over her face.  
I motioned for the door and she shook herself out of it.

Walking up to it, she pulled the doors opened and said, "You can come in now."

Once again the elders filed into the room and Tsunade returned to Sakura's side.

"Make the announcement to the village." I told the head elder. "Sakura and I will be married a month from now. Let it be known that this is _our own decision._ I cannot stress that enough. Our union will in no way benefit you or bring you any political favor."

The elders clenched their jaws and bowed stiffly to me.

"And if you _ever_ go behind my back again…I will banish you all."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama." the head elder said and they all bowed and walked out of the room once again.

When the door was closed, Tsunade gave an excited yell and hugged Sakura who excitedly hugged her back.

"Come here Gaara!" she said as she motioned to me with her arm.

Waving my hands in front of me, I slowly backed away from the excited woman, scared of how much strength she would give off when she was in such an elated state.

She was having none of it though since I found myself pulled tightly into a hug that knocked the wind out of me.  
Even my sand armor cracked…

"Sakura…Gaara…please forgive me, but I have to return to Konoha immediately and tell everyone the good news! I will see you both in a month!" she said as she rushed out of my office.

When she was gone, Sakura and I were alone in the room once again.

Sakura smiled at me once and wrapped her arms around my neck. "So what happens now?"

I shrugged, "Nothing changes really…just in a month we'll be married. But until then…" I said as I grabbed her hand and brought her to the Kage library. "I want you to read this." I said as I pulled down a thick leather-bound book.

"What is it?" Sakura asked as she ran her fingers over the leather cover and traced the engraved '**S'** that was on it.

"It's my family's history." I said. "It has everything from lineage to family secrets that no one else knows about. You have a month to read it and think about your decision. If at any point you change your mind…I will understand."

She looked at me and smiled sadly, "I will start on it immediately." and with that, she kissed my once again and then left the room.

Returning to my office once again, I sat behind my desk and sighed into my hands.

It had already been a long and taxing day and it wasn't even noon yet.

I stared at the mountain of new scrolls and the ones that were left over from last night; and what was left of my energy drained out of me.

How was I ever going to concentrate on my work now?

Then an idea came to me and a slow smile snuck its way onto my face.

I walked out of my office and entered Temari's and Kankuro's office, where I found them slacking off as usual.

"You two," I said forcefully, "You will do my work for me today. I'm taking the day off."

"What?! You can't do that!" Temari said standing up from where she was sitting.

"I can do whatever I want." I said as I crossed my arms. "And you have to do whatever I tell you to do."

"I don't care what your title is!" Kankuro said as she stood up as well, "You're still our little brother and we will _not_ be bossed around by you!"

Rolling my eyes and sighing at their behavior I said, "Fine. If you will not do it simply because I told you to. Then let it be your wedding present to me…"

And with that I turned and walked out of the room.

I was already down the hall when I heard a "WHAT?!?!" echo down the hallway…


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm a writing FIEND!  
i can't stop!!! must...write...a new...chapter... Ogasps for airO  
honestly folks, you cannot imagine how happy i am to hear that you all like my story... hell, ****Sakuradeathblossom runs around naked!  
booyah!**

**;-)**

* * *

When I returned home from the office, I threw my robes onto the couch, silently cursing at the oversized things, and went in search of Sakura. 

I found her sitting on our bed reading the book that I had given her.  
I watched silently from the doorway as she read.  
Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she reluctantly read every word.

Walking into the room, she looked up at me and said as her voice cracked, "Did you forget something?"

Shaking my head and sitting down next to her I said, "No. I took the day off."

"Oh…" she said she returned her glazed eyes back to the book.

"I warned you." I said quietly.

"I know you did. I just didn't think it was going to be this bad…"

"What part are you at?" I asked her.

"I'm at the part where your Great-Grandmother plots to kill your Great-Grandfather; you know, the part right after he nearly beats her to death…"

I nodded my head slightly, knowing it only got worse from there.

"Tell me Gaara, is all of your family's lives so brutal?"

"Until recently." I said as I slightly smiled at her.

"Why didn't anyone stop this when they knew what was going on?" she asked desperately, shaking the book for emphasis.

"Because what happens in the family stays in the family. If ever a time comes and one of my successors doesn't become Kazekage, then that book must be burned. No one outside of this family is allowed to know what we've done to each other in the past."

"Then why are you letting me read it?"

"Because you're about to become a member of this family Sakura. One day you will have your own chapter in that book."

Sakura sighed and stared at the book once again.

"Maybe our story will brighten the book up a little…" she said as she smiled at me slightly.

I kissed her forehead and stood up once again.  
I had to get out of there…I knew all about what she was reading and I couldn't sit there and watch her suffer through it.  
But she had to read it, she had to know what she was marrying in to…

"Where are you going now?" she asked as I moved to leave the room.

"I'm going to go train. I'll be back later."

And I closed the door behind me, leaving Sakura alone with the past.

* * *

Preparing myself to train, I closed my eyes and started to collect my mental process; only to have it shattered once again by Shukaku's voice… 

_**You're giving me a bad reputation boy…  
**__**First the villagers no longer fear you.  
You stopped killing for fun.  
And now you've fallen in love and you're getting married?!  
It's like I'm not even here.**_

_I know you're there…it's kind of hard to forget._

_**Now is not a good time for you to be amused boy…how about we destroy the village, backstab Konoha, and kill the girl?**_

_No._

A sharp pain shot through my head and I grasped it as I hit the ground.  
I don't remember Shukaku being this mad since the hospital…

As the pain subsided, I remained kneeling in the sand, dripping sweat, and gasping for air.

"Don't let anyone see you doing that again…" a deep older voice said from behind me.

"Baki." I said, acknowledging his presence and shakily standing up. "Why are you here?"

"I just heard the announcement."

I nodded at him and waited to see if there was anything else he wanted to tell me; but he just stood there staring at me.  
I could tell there was something more that he wanted to say, but he was reluctant to say it.

"It's been a long time since I've run one of your training sessions…" he said, "how about I train you today?"

I nodded at him once again and watched as he walked down the sand dune to where I was standing.

"Are you ready?" he asked me as he assumed a fighting stance.

I smirked at him, "I'm much stronger then I used to be."

"We'll see about that. The last time we sparred I…" but he was cut off by my sand tapping him on his shoulder.  
When he turned his head to face it, he found all of his kunai pointed at him with my sand poised to attack.  
Dropping his pose immediately, he returned his gaze to me.

I smirked at him once again.

"New rule: no sand or weapons."

"Fine." I said as I released my sand.

"Begin!" Baki said, and the day's training had commenced.

* * *

After training, Baki and I sat underneath the protection of some of my as it blocked the unrelenting sun. 

"You've surpassed me." Baki said. "But I guess that is to be expected by the Kazekage."

I smirked as I took a sip out of my canteen.

"The elders said that it's not a political marriage, it's a marriage by choice…is this true?"

I nodded at him and said, "Yes. Sakura and I have decided to get married. I didn't see it happening so soon, but since the elders brought it up, I may as well act on it."

Baki looked at me, sadness haunting his face, "I had a wife once…" he said softly.

I looked at him from behind my canteen as I took another drink.

After a long pause I asked, "What happened to her?" since it was obvious that he was going to leave it at that.

Leaning back against the sand, Baki continued, "We had been married a year to the day, with a child on the way; but when Suna was attacked during the great war, our house was hit…killing her and the child that she was still caring within her."

After a moment of silent reflection, Baki turned to me and asked, "Are you happy?"

Stunned by his question, since Baki never once showed any concern for my wellbeing or happiness, I simply nodded at him.

"Good." he said as he nodded at me. "My only advice to you is savor every moment you have with her…because you never know when you won't have anymore to savor."

I removed my sand when I saw him moving to stand up.  
Laughing to himself while he brushed himself off and offering me his hand to help me up, he said, "But listen to me talking to you like you're easily injured…I can't even hit you anymore!"

Grabbing his hand and pulling myself up I responded, "Well, you get slower as you get older."

"Not funny." he said, and together we walked back to Suna.

* * *

When I returned to the house, I found a very disgruntled Temari and Kankuro.  
Ignoring their death glares, I went to my room in search of Sakura; but she wasn't there. 

Returning to where I had left my siblings, I asked, "Where's Sakura?."

"She said she needed some air. I think she's on the roof."

I turned around once again and headed for the window in my room.  
Jumping onto the roof easily, I found her staring out over the desert with her back towards Suna.

"Do you miss Konoha?" I said, letting her know I was there.

"It's hard to believe it's out there past all of that sand…" she said still staring ahead.

I sat down next to her and stared ahead as well.

"How was training?" she asked me as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Fine. Baki trained me today."

"Really? How is he doing?"

"He's fine."

"Hmm. Oh, here." she said as she handed me the book back.

"You finished it already?" I said slightly amazed.

Chuckling she responded, "You keep forgetting that Tsunade was my sensei, this was light reading compared to what she used to make me read. Everything in that book is so thorough; I had to keep reminding myself that it was about real people and not fictional characters that I would read about in a novel…"

"And you still stand by your decision?"

"Of course I do. Why do you think that I'm going to change my mind or regret my decision?"

"Because I'm not the first person you've felt this way about." I said, and immediately wished that I had remained silent.

"What do you mean…" she asked suspiciously and dangerously.

Knowing that I was already in trouble, I decided to at least finish my thought. "You use to love the Uchiha, did you not? I just want you to be sure that this is really what you want before you go through with it."

Sakura didn't say anything.  
She just stared at me…which let me know just how mad she was at me.  
Of course, when she acted like this, she was beyond mad…furious wouldn't even cover the extent of her anger.  
I'm pretty sure I felt Shukaku shudder at her glare, which is really impressive on her part.  
I almost felt happy for the girl to accomplish such a feat, but then I remembered that _I_ was the one she was directing her anger at.

She stood up silently and returned to the inside of the house. I wasn't surprised when I heard and felt the vibrations of my bedroom door slamming shut and heard my window forcefully being closed and locked as well.

I was what Kankuro calls, 'in the dog house'.

Sighing and knowing that putting off facing her would only make things worse, I jumped down from the roof and entered our house through the front door.

Waving away Kankuro's and Temari's curious stares, I walked to my room and tried to open it…I was honestly surprised to find it locked.  
I knew she was mad at me, but I didn't think she was _that_ mad at me, because locking me out of my own room took a backbone made of steel

Taking a few breaths to calm the anger building, I said, "Sakura. Let me in."

"No! You can meditate on the couch all night because I am _not_ sharing a bed with you tonight."

_**Kill her.**_ Shukaku said simply.

_Stay out of this. _I barked back.

_**Ok.**_

Shocked that he had just agreed to what I told him to do, I said, _Did you just agree with me?_

_**Of course I did! Did you see that look she gave you on the roof? That girl is going to do more damage to you then I ever could…so I'm going to sit back and enjoy the show.**_

Now my anger had doubled.

Fed up with this stupid game, I transported myself into my room, only to find Sakura sitting on the bed.

Her glare only increased its intensity as she threatened me, "I said go away!"

"No. This is my room and I will come and go as I please. If you don't like it, _you_ can use the couch."

"I said GET OUT!" she was yelling at me now as she stood up on my bed towering over me.

"Why are you so angry?" I asked her calmly, "Is it because what I said is true and you know it?"

"You are not helping yourself…you keep digging yourself deeper and deeper into that hole you dug…"

"Then prove me wrong." I said as I crossed my arms.

Shaking her head she said, "Fine. I'll admit it, I loved him. But _not_ like you think! I thought I loved him…but I came to realize that I loved him like a brother, just like I love Naruto. They are my friends, and they are dear to me. But the love that I have for you…" she sighed and sat back down onto the bed, "It's not even on the same plain."

"That doesn't explain why you're mad."

"I'm mad that you even have to ask me if I truly love you or not! You should know that I do…"

Deciding that she was now approachable, I sat down next to her on the bed.

"Why do you hate him so much anyways?"

"I assume you're talking about the Uchiha."

She nodded and said, "His name is Sasuke."

"No. He's lucky I even call him my one of his names."

"Why do you hate him?" she asked softly, scooting closer to me.  
Her anger was completely gone now, and I marveled at the female species' ability to rebound between emotions.

"Because everything he had and gave up is everything that I would have killed for."

"What do you mean?"

"He had friends, he was a strong shinobi, he was accepted, he was cared for, and he was loved. And he gave all of that up. And for what? Revenge? To kill his brother? That's the stupidest reason to give all of that up. He didn't even have the decency to pick you up off of the ground when he knocked you unconscious."

"What are you talking about? He put me on the bench."

Realizing my mistake, I immediately regretted my explanation to her and studied the wall next to me intently.

"Wait…how do you know he knocked me out…"

The wall continued to captivate my attention.

"You were there weren't you!?" she said, the anger returning to her voice. "You were spying on me!!!"

"I was not. I was only curious. You were bringing so many unknowns into my life, I had to study you in order to find out what they were."

"So you're the one who put me on the bench…" she said quietly.

"I watched as you cried and wondered why he wasn't moving to calm you. Then when he left you laying on the ground and I realized that he wasn't coming back, I picked you up and left you on the bench…I didn't know what else to do."

Silence passed between us now.  
Sakura played with her fingers and I watched her out of the corner of my eye.

"If he were to come back, what would you do?" I asked her.

Smiling sadly she said, "Try not to kill him."

I smirked and pulled her into me.  
I wanted this fighting to end, it was giving me a headache.  
I had been fighting my whole life, the last place I wanted confrontation was with the person who brought me peace.

Expecting some resistance from her, I was surprised when she held onto me tightly.

"I will only ask you one more time, and that will be the last time I bring up this topic. Are you sure you want to marry me?"

Sakura released her hold on me, and cupped my face between her hands.  
Directing my face so that I was looking her directly in the eyes, she said without a glimpse of hesitation or doubt, "Yes."

Later that night, I was enjoying my night off by laying on my bed as I watched Sakura talk excitedly about our wedding.  
She talked forever about clothing, and colors, and traditions that my head was spinning by the end of the night…I never knew weddings were so complicated.

Finally calming down, she crawled her way over to me on the bed and said, "I only have one request."

"What's that?" I said as I shifted my head to better look at her.

"Can the wedding be postponed to two months? Naruto is coming back soon and I really want him to be there for everything…"

Silently reflecting on the noisy blonde boy that would unquestionably get into a numerous amount of calamities at the ceremony, I couldn't help but smile and grant her this one request.

She smiled at me as she laid down next to me, cuddling into my side.  
"What do you think our chapter will be like in that book?" she asked me, pointing to the book that was now on my desk.

"I don't know." I said honestly.

"It'll be the happiest addition to it, that's for sure…" she said mumbling.  
"Gaara…" she said sitting up once again. "Did you read your mother's diary? It's in there you know…"

"I know. And no, I didn't read it. I don't need to know her thoughts on me right before I was born."

"That's too bad. You should read it when you get the chance…"

"Did you read it?"

She nodded, "She had a lot of hatred towards your father and what he did to her. And you can tell she was torn between hating you and loving you…but you can just tell that her love won out by the way she writes about how you moved within her when she sang lullabies to you at night."

I sat up then. "She wrote that?"

Sakura smiled and nodded at me.

Laying back down I said, "Tell me more."

Sakura supported herself on one of her elbows while her other arm was used to run her fingers through my hair.

I listened all night as she told me all about my mother's private thoughts…

* * *

The next day, Sakura and I walked through the streets of Suna.  
It was a tradition for anyone who decided to get married: the couple had to walk the streets together and showcase themselves to the village. 

The villagers all cheered and yelled their congratulations to us. Sakura waved enthusiastically back at them and her smile seemed to be ever-present on her face.

After our rounds were done, all of the villagers returned to their work; but Sakura wanted to keep walking. She said that it wasn't everyday she got to spend the entire day with me and she wanted to take full advantage of our time.  
I was a little annoyed at first, but for some reason, Baki's words came back to me and a strange sense of doom lurked in my stomach.

_What was that?_ I asked Shukaku.

_**I don't know…but I felt it too. Something big is coming.**_

Shrugging it off, I let Sakura drag me through the streets.

Near the end of the day, when the sun was finally starting to set, I told Sakura it was time to go home since it would start getting cold soon. She reluctantly agreed and together we started to walk back to my house.

Suddenly, a battered woman limped by us and spit at our feet. I could smell flesh blood on her and knew that she had recently been injured.

Sakura moved to say something to the woman, but I pulled her back and told her to keep walking.  
As we walked past the woman, Sakura continued to glare daggers at her.

"Stop staring Sakura." I said.

"Did you see what she did?!" she asked me, pointing back at the woman.

"Yes, I did. But I'll allow it from her."

"Why? What makes her so special?"

"Did you see her bruises and cuts?" I asked Sakura.

"Yeah, but what do they have to do with anything?"

"It's well known in this village that those cuts and bruises and just about every injury or broken bone she has ever received is from her husband."

Sakura stopped dead and stared at me. "Then do something." she demanded.

"I can't."

"Yes you can! You're the Kazekage! Can't you say that just this once a wedding has been dissolved and she is free from that monster's torment?!"

"No. The law states that marriages are final. I will not tamper with our village's traditions."

"So you're just going to let that woman get beat until she's dead?!"

"It's her own fault. She should have been with the man for a longer period of time before she decided to give her life to him. Now she is his, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Sakura shook her head, "It's just not right."

We walked the rest of the way home in silence.

* * *

That night, long after Sakura should have been asleep, she asked, "Gaara…you wouldn't ever hit me, would you?" 

"Of course not. I am not an animal."

"Good…because I would leave."

I smiled at this, "I know you would. You are not weak like that woman."

She moved to sit on top of me then, and I took in the beauty of her naked body with my eyes.

"I have one more request." she said firmly.

"And what's that?" I asked as I ran my fingers up and down her bare arms.

"At some point before our wedding, and not now because it will sound phony, I want you to tell me that you love me."

I stopped my caresses with my fingers and stared at her silently.  
Never in my entire life had I told someone that…not even my uncle.  
But I knew I loved her.  
I just couldn't say it…

Returning my gaze to her eyes, I nodded at her request. "Fine. But on one condition of my own."

"And what's that?" she asked smiling.

"You are never allowed to sleep with clothes on."

Her mouth dropped open in a mock gasp as I sat up and pinned her underneath me.

I saw her blush as I stared at her below me.

Smirking at her, I leaned in for a kiss and then pulled away to say, "_EVER._"


	17. Chapter 17

**EEK! it's thursday!!! and that means NEW SHIPUDDEN EPISODE!!!  
-runs around naked like Sakuradeathblossom-**

**anyways, new chapter...this is a little shorter then the others 'cause it leads up to a BIG chapter...which is the next one.  
but enjoy none-the-less.**

**and everyone...-sigh- i love you all!**

**:-)**

* * *

A month passed by like a sandstorm. 

I got word that Naruto had returned to Konoha and I immediately told Sakura the news.  
She was so excited to see that boy that I couldn't refuse her request to visit Konoha and tell him the news about our wedding in person.  
She didn't show it often, but I knew that she missed Konoha and all that it held. So I told her to tag along with Temari on her mission since she had to talk with Tsunade about the upcoming Chuunin exams.

While she was gone, life continued on as usual.  
I found myself in meeting after meeting only to be greeted by a mountain of scrolls on my desk in the main office and also in my bedroom.  
I was silently grateful for all of the work since it helped keep my mind off of Sakura and all of the dangers her and my sister could run into during their mission.  
That strange feeling was still there, and it was only growing stronger.

Usually all the members present at the meetings talked about this group called the Akatsuki.  
Apparently they were a group that wants to harness the power of the demons that Naruto and I had sealed within us…

During the meetings I sat back and listened to the elders talk and argue with each other on what actions to take.  
I was mostly worried for Naruto since I knew the Kyuubi would be the most desirable demon to possess. Not only was it a strong demon, but it was also almost docile to its host, never bothering it…nothing like Shukaku anyways.  
Again, I was amazed at Naruto's never ending luck.

The elders mentioned that they had put guards on watch for any members that came near the village. But I knew it was a waste of time, they wouldn't come after me…they would be crazy to want Shukaku.  
I knew Naruto would be their prime target, and I had to help my friend.  
He had saved me during our fight and only helped me out after that…he put my life on the track that it is today, and I had to repay the favor.

As soon as I returned to my office, I quickly wrote up a request for Tsunade to have Naruto return with Sakura and Temari. I made up a story about having him shadow me in order to learn and comprehend the true duties of a leader…especially since he aspired to be Hokage one day.

Wondering about my sanity since I knew that Naruto was only going to slow my work and bother me all day; and knowing that Tsunade could never refuse such a request, I sent the message immediately.

With Naruto and Sakura in Suna, I could easily keep my eye on both of them.

* * *

I saw them coming from a mile away. 

I watched in amusement from the balcony attached to my office as Naruto waved his arms around wildly, talking excitedly about something.  
I also watched as Sakura went from smiling, to laughing, to hitting him hard on the top of his head.

I half-wished I had been there to see his reaction when he heard about me being appointed Kazekage and Sakura's engagement to me.  
But watching them as they approached the village, I'm glad I wasn't…

"GAARA!" I heard Naruto yell as soon as he stepped into the village gates. His loud voice could be heard throughout Suna.  
Everyone around them stopped and stared at this odd blonde boy.

Sighing at his actions, I transported myself in front of him, arms crossed across my chest.

"GAARA!!" Naruto yelled even louder as he lifted me off of the ground in a hug.  
Sakura laughed behind her hand while Temari smirked at me.

The villagers around us were waiting on my reaction.

"Naruto, put me down. You're making a bad example to the villagers on how to treat their Kazekage." I muttered to him.

Seeing his error, he dropped me immediately and bowed low as he addressed me by my formal title.

Rolling my eyes at him I said, "That's even worse…".

When he stood up again, I walked over to Sakura and gave her a kiss on the forehead.  
I heard Naruto gawk loudly at my actions, but before he could say anything, I said, "Come. I will show you your living quarters."

Taking Sakura by the hand, I led the way to my house…where he would be staying unfortunately.  
I placed him in Kankuro's room though…as payback for all of the pranks he's pulled on me as a joke in the past.

When I had showed Naruto to his room, I said, "I'm assuming Tsunade told you the reason for your being here."

Nodding excitedly, he responded, "YEAH! She told me! I think it's a great idea! It'll give us a chance to learn how to work together for when I become Hokage!"

"Hn. It starts tomorrow at 6 AM. Be dressed and ready to leave by then."

"WHAT?! That's so early!!!"

Rolling my eyes at him, since he was already giving me a headache, I said, "But for now get cleaned up and unpacked. When you are done, we will all go out to eat."

"Gaara…" Naruto said seriously, which caught my attention immediately, "Thanks buddy. And you and me need to have a talk about this wedding thing…"

Smirking slightly at his protectiveness of Sakura, I nodded and said, "I know."

Nodding his head, Naruto ran into Kankuro's room and immediately started unpacking.

I walked into the living room and saw Temari waiting to brief me on her mission. I motioned for her to wait and entered my bedroom where Sakura was unpacking as well. "When you're ready, we're all going out to eat." I said.

"Okay." she answered as she nodded to me and folded up an article of clothing.

I closed the door once again, and then moved to my sister.

"So?" I said as I motioned for her to sit on the couch next to me.

"Everything is going well. Tsunade tightened security this year, which was expected; but she told me that it has nothing to do with her doubting you, she just wants the people to feel safer this year."

I nodded my head at this news, "I would have done the same…Anything else?"

"No. Everything is on schedule, so in a few months we'll be visiting Konoha once again for the exams."

"Good."

I heard as a door opened and saw Sakura step out in the hallway.  
Seeing my sister and I seated on the couch she said, "Oh sorry…I didn't mean to interrupt…"

"You're fine." I said as I looked at my sister to verify that we were done talking. When she nodded at me I said, "We're finished."

A loud crash echoed to the room that we were sitting in, closely followed by Kankuro's yelling and Naruto yelling right back at him.

"Excuse me." Temari said as she excused herself. "I have to go stop Kankuro before he starts choking Naruto."

Temari rushed out of the room and out of sight down the hall.

Sakura walked over to me and gave me a long and fiery kiss.

"I missed you." she said smiling at me.

"I could tell…" I said as I was still recovering from the kiss.

"Oi. Get a room you two!" Kankuro said loudly as he walked into the room followed by Temari and Naruto.

"We have a room. _You_ walked in to it." I pointed out.

"Let's go eat…I'm STARVING!!!" Naruto said as she grabbed his stomach for added drama.

Nodding at his request, I motioned everyone to the door.

"Is there any ramen stands in Suna?" I heard Naruto ask as they walked out of the house.  
Sighing and shaking my head at him, I closed the door behind me.

It was going to be a LONG month…

* * *

Naruto followed me around everywhere. Constantly asking questions about why I was doing this, and why I was doing that, and when did I get to fight against an enemy, etc. 

It was so hard to keep my patience with the boy, the only thing I could do to keep control was remind myself the _real _reason why he was here.

With him constantly by my side, and with Sakura either with me or with Temari, there was no way the Akatuski could harm those dearest to me.

No harm would come to them  
I would make sure of that…  
But that feeling kept getting stronger and stronger.

_Something's coming._ I said to Shukaku.

_**You're right boy…something big is on its way.**_

_Do you think we'll come out victorious?_

_**I'll make sure that we do…I have to gain some of my hard earned reputation back…**_

I smirked at my demon's hurt pride. It was so easily hurt for such a strong and dangerous demon…

That night, I sat in bed looking over scrolls that Naruto couldn't view while Sakura slept soundly next to me.

At some point during the night she started moving around and reaching out into the empty air around her. I watched her curiously, I had seen people have nightmares before…I always wondered what they were dreaming about.

Suddenly she sat up with a scream and then slouched forward and began to cry.

Putting the scrolls aside, I pulled her into me.  
When she had calmed down enough, I asked her what her dream was about.

"I don't know." she sniffed as she wiped her face. "Something was chasing me while I was running after you."

"You were running after me?"

"Yeah… you kept backing away from me and the faster I ran, the quicker you faded into the blackness around me. It felt like I was losing you forever."

"I'm right here. I didn't go anywhere." I said as I held out my hand in front of her face as proof.

Grabbing it, almost as if to see if I _was_ really there, Sakura sighed and then asked, "How's the work coming?"

"Hn."

She laughed softly into my chest, "You're going to be doing it all night, aren't you?"

"Is the light bothering you? Because if it is then I can go into another room and do it. Everyone's asleep so it won't bother anyone."

"No. Stay here. It's not bothering me at all."

We sat like that for a while, with her using me as a pillow and me lying on my back staring up at the ceiling.  
"I'm sorry…" she said quietly, "you're busy with work, I'll let you get back to it. After all, I should be old enough to know they're just dreams."

"No. It's okay. I can take a break."

Relaxing against me once again, she asked, "Gaara…can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?"

"What's the real reason why Naruto is here?"

"To shadow me and see what a Kage has to do everyday."

She sat up then and gave me a skeptical look, "Come on. You don't think I'm stupid do you? I saw through your bluff as soon as Tsunade told us the news."

Sitting up and resting my arms on my knees, I said, "I don't want to tell you."

"Why's that?"

"Because you'll worry."

"Well, now you _have_ to tell me."

Sighing and rolling my eyes at her, I knew I really didn't have a choice in the matter…"You're lucky I like you…" I said giving her a sideways look.

"Spill it." she demanded.

"There's a group called the Akatuski, and they are trying to possess demon power. And the only way they can do that is by taking one out of Naruto or me. So I brought him here so that I could keep on eye on him."

"Well that's just _brilliant!_" Sakura practically yelled with sarcasm. "Why don't you just gather up all of the demon containers in a small little area and wave a flag around saying, 'here we are! Come and get us!'".

"I knew you wouldn't understand."

"What's there to understand?! You brought Naruto here, so now all this group has to do is swoop in and nab one of you…and then what? Who knows what they'll do to you…Did you even think about this at ALL!?"

"Keep your voice down. Of course I thought about this. I brought Naruto here because he's the only one in danger by this group. No one would want to host Shukaku, he's too difficult; but Kyuubi…that's who they're after. And with Naruto in Suna, I can protect him."

"Why do you have this intense desire to protect him? He's a perfectly capable ninja, he can protect himself. You don't have to put yourself in danger!"

"I'm not _in _danger Sakura. But Naruto is. And I owe him so much…it's the least I can do."

Sakura knew I was right…but she was still fighting it.  
I saw her trying to think of another possible solution to the problem.

"I hate it when you're right…" she pouted. "Just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll be careful, and if they do come here, you won't take them all on by yourself…"

"I promise."

"Good…because I've been having this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach lately." she said as she laid back down.

Laying back down with her, I snapped off the light.

"Aren't you going to do your work?"

"No. You need to get some sleep."

"Oh, and Gaara…"

"Hm?"

"Don't tell Naruto why he's really here…otherwise it'll be more than just the Akatuski you'll have to look out for."

"He won't find out. You and I are the only ones who know the truth."

"Good." she said as she sat up to kiss me goodnight.

I wanted to say it then. It was on the tip of my tongue.  
I love you…all I had to do was say it…but I couldn't.  
Who knew that three small words could be so complicated…  
I still had a month though, that was plenty of time.

"Good night." I said instead, and she laid back down and snuggled her face into my stomach and fell asleep.

_**Did you hear that boy? She's having bad feelings too.**_

_What could be causing them?_

_**I don't know…but I don't like it. I know you promised the girl that you wouldn't…**_

_That's one promise I will break. _I said as I bravely cut him off.

_**Good. Then prepare for a battle boy…because I can feel the electricity in the air. Look at the moon…it's coming soon.**_

I looked out of the window, and for the first time that night, I noticed that the moon was red.

"Blood on the moon…" I whispered into the silence of the night.

Something is coming…and whatever it is, it wasn't good.


	18. Chapter 18

**lol i have amazing people who read this story...not only do you guys give me kick-ass reviews...  
BUT Sakuradeathblossom (who i will forever thank for the picture she drew me!!!) and Dark-Neko-Princess either get naked and run around or flash guys every chance they get!  
HAHAHA you guys crack me up!  
So this chapter is for the afore mentioned ladies and also everyone else who reads this story...because you all inspire me to keep going.**

**Anyways, enough of that mushy stuff. here's the next chapter folks!  
hope ya'll like it... and before the questions start, NO this is NOT the last chapter.  
there will be more, i promise.  
:-)**

* * *

The next seven days were the longest days of my life. 

Not only did I have to babysit Naruto to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, but I also had Sakura constantly by my side babysitting _me.  
_She had been doing this ever since I told her why Naruto was really here.  
Everywhere I turned, there she was, making sure I was safe in whatever I was doing.

If I stepped out of my office, she immediately bombarded me with questions like: "where are you going?" "Why are you going there?" and she _always _followed it with a "be careful."

I was starting to regret ever telling her the truth about my plan…

But I kept my temper with them both. I knew that Naruto was just being himself and that Sakura was just looking out for me.  
In fact, it probably would have been peculiar if Naruto was responsible for once and Sakura didn't react the way she was…

I was talking to Shukaku more and more about this growing sense of misfortune that had taken permanent root in me.

_I don't like this._

_**Me neither. I haven't felt this feeling since the last time they removed me from my host and put me in that damn teakettle.**_

_Do you think I could be wrong? Could they really be after you as well?_

_**Of course they're after me! I'm one of the strongest demons in existence, who wouldn't want to control me?!**_

I almost physically rolled my eyes at my demon's ego; I was amazed that my body was big enough to host it…

_**Just a warning boy, if they do try to extract me, I will fight it the whole way…**_

I visibly winced when I imagined Shukaku fighting tooth and claw against the ritual.  
I could almost feel as his claws ripped apart my insides…

Sakura noticed me wincing and was immediately by my side asking if I was alright.  
Sighing, I turned to everyone else that was in the room and ordered them to leave us alone.  
There was a slight pause as all of their eyes shifted from me to her and back to me again, then they all slowly moved out of the room, Naruto being the last to leave.

When the door was closed behind them, I turned to her and said, "You need to stop."

"Stop what?"

"Fussing over me like I'm a child."

"I am not!"

"You are. Ever since I told you why Naruto is really here, you've been treating me like I'm incapable of being self-sufficient. You've been in my office everyday and refuse to leave my side. You are not my mother. Stop it."

"Well I'm SORRY for being worried about you!" she yelled.

"Worry for Naruto, worry for yourself, but do _not _worry for me."

"Fine." she said as her lip quivered slightly, her eyes were getting shinier which meant that she was on the verge of crying. "I'm sorry for caring about you, it will _never _happen again." Then she bowed low to me and added, "Kazekage-sama."

Then she turned around and walked out onto the balcony.

I watched her as she left. I had no desire to go after her. She had just insulted me by her actions, there was no way I was going to be the one to mend this fight…even though I knew that's what she wanted me to do.  
If she really wanted to be left alone, she would have left my office. But she had just went to the balcony, I could still sense her chakra from where I was sitting.

But I remained at my desk and called everyone back in.

As the day went on, I could still sense her chakra outside of my office; after a few hours though, when she finally realized that I was not coming outside to talk to her, I felt it fade away until it was gone.

When I knew she was gone, I looked out of my window.

Maybe I should have went outside…but I shrugged off my doubts.  
I would talk to her tonight, and if she was still upset then, I would wait until she calmed down.

A large bird flying overhead pulled me away from my thoughts.

_That's odd…_I thought as I watched it soar above Suna.

_**I've never seen a bird like that in Suna before.**_

_That's because they don't live here…_

As I watched the bird circle the village, that bad feeling jumped to life and consumed every inch of my body.

_**It's begun…**_Shukaku said, unleashing a battle cry within me.

I watched the bird carefully and waited for it to touchdown into the village, but it only circled a few times and then flew away.

_It was just scoping things out._

_**But it will be back.**_

_And I'll be waiting…_

* * *

My eyes remained glued to the sky for the rest of the day.  
I told Naruto to leave, giving him the day off so that I could scan the sky without him becoming suspicious. 

Long after the sun went down, the bird hadn't returned.  
So I left my office and made my way back to the house.

Temari and Kankuro weren't home, and I figured they were out training since I had kept them busy all day.  
Naruto was gone as well, probably out eating somewhere.  
The only chakra presence I felt in the house was Sakura's. I followed her trail to the roof where I found her staring out at the desert once again.

"You never came to the balcony…" she said sadly.

"I was going to, but then you made the mistake of calling me by my title…and if I followed you out there, it would have only made things worse."

She shook her head bitterly at me, "What do you want Gaara? I'm not in the mood for your company right now."

"I want you to promise me something."

She laughed mockingly then and turned to stare at me, "You have no idea how mad I am at you right now…do you?"

"No. I know full well how mad at me you are. But that doesn't negate the fact that I want you to promise me something. Once you promise me this, I will leave you alone."

"Fine. What is it?"

"Promise me that if something goes wrong, you will not come after me."

"What are you talking about?"

"If I was wrong and I _am_ kidnapped, I don't want you to try to rescue me. I want you to accept what has happened and move on."

"I can't do that."

"You must."

"I don't _have_ to do anything you tell me to do."

"Now is not the time to be defiant Sakura…" I said dangerously.

"You know what, FINE. I promise. Are you happy now?! Now will you go away and leave me alone?!"

I nodded at her and turned to leave, "I will be waiting for you when you're ready to talk."

"Don't hold your breath." she said bitterly.

And then I left.  
I simply turned my back on her.  
I left her sitting on the roof while I transported myself down to the street.

* * *

Returning to my office once again, I stood and stared out of a window looking up at the sky.  
I knew that bird would return tonight…it was just a matter of sitting and waiting. 

After hours of an empty night sky, a shadow passed over the moon and I spotted the bird and its owner immediately. It glided silently in the sky, and if it wasn't for my acute senses, I would have never had heard it coming…

The shinobi on the back of the bird landed quietly on the balcony and muttered, "Infiltration successful."

I smirked at the stupid man, he had no idea that his mission had just failed.

I watched in amusement as his eyes widened when he noticed me standing in front of him.

The wind whipped around us as I said, "That's as far as you go."

Shukaku groaned with excitement as the tension before the fight built, sand started to spill from my gourd and circle around me, waiting for our deadly dance to begin.

The man in front of me reached into a bag that he had attached to his hip and my eyes widened in surprise, I hadn't expected him to start this so soon.

My sand sprang to life at his action and lunged at him. He dodged my attack easily and jumped up into the air, landing easily on the giant bird's back.

A game of cat and mouse commenced.

I didn't know what he was waiting for…he was just flying around Suna with my sand biting at his heels.  
Was he waiting for backup? Or was it just him I had to fight?  
The elders had mentioned that the Akatsuki travel in groups of two…so where was his partner?  
Keeping a part of my awareness on the look out for the second member, I brought back my attention to the man I was currently fighting.

I was growing tired of chasing him with my sand. I knew the longer I dragged this battle out, the worse off I would be.  
So I jumped into the air and landed on my sand as it lifted me up to meet him on the battle ground that he had chosen: the air.

The battle was evenly matched.

Whenever he hit me with one of his explosives, I easily blocked them and attacked him with my sand.  
Before long, I found myself engulfed in my sand as it formed a ball around me. My absolute defense was now up, and I knew that it was going to be tested.

I felt the crowd grow beneath us as the whole village was waking up to the sound of our battle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Baki and Kankuro standing on the balcony of a building. Baki was ordering the other shinobi to set up their battle positions in order to reinforce me.

But there was one chakra presence that I focused all of my attention on…Sakura's.

Her pink hair stood out against the dull earth tones of Suna, and she was as close to me as she could possibly get. She was standing on the roof of the tallest building near me, her proximity worried me since she was so close to the fight; I was worried that a stray explosive would drop and hit her.

But I couldn't worry about her right now. I had to refocus my attention on my opponent, otherwise her, Naruto, my siblings, and all of Suna would be in danger.

The man stopped moving around and presented another type of explosive…but I could sense that there was something different about this one.

"I'm sick of looking at your impassive face." he said as he let the bomb drift from his hands and float between us.

In a puff of smoke, the bomb grew to ten times its original size. This could not turn out well for anyone…

Spreading its wings, it began to fall towards Suna…and directly where Sakura was standing.

As the bomb fell towards the village I swore I would die to protect, my opponent explained to me his technique and also that the bomb was his strongest and that it could easily destroy Suna with one blast.

I couldn't allow that to happen.  
I _wouldn't_ allow that to happen!

I knew I was running low on chakra, and a feat like protecting the whole village would only lesson my chances of surviving this fight, but there was no doubt in my mind…I would protect everyone.

Digging into my chakra reserves, I pulled up all of the loose sand in the village and made a giant sand shield that would block the explosion.  
And just to be safe, I surrounded Sakura with an extra one. I could feel her emotions rebounding off of the sand around her, and I felt as a wave of her worry washed through me.

When the dust and smoke settled, my sand shield was revealed to all.

I heard cheers come from down below and again my eyes widened…they were cheering for me.  
The _whole_ village was cheering and supporting me…

Encouraged by this, I easily blocked another explosive attack from my opponent.

I was once again completely surrounded by my sand, and I was breathing hard…  
That sand shield had used up more chakra then I thought it would have.

I had to think of a way to end this battle now…

But I was pulled from my thoughts as I felt something digging around in my sand.  
I watched in horror as little spiders crawled out from my shield and I knew that it was over.  
There was nothing I could do as they exploded.

The blast knocked me unconscious for a few seconds and Shukaku's roaring pulled me out of it immediately.

Conscious once again, I felt as my sand slowly fell away from me.  
It would be over soon…but I had to do something about the giant sand shield I had made for the explosion.  
If I didn't remove it soon, it would fall apart when I fainted from exhaustion and all of my work would be wiped away completely; and I would do what my mother had meant for me to do: I would destroy the village.

I felt myself slowly lose altitude.

_No…not yet._ I thought as I used up what was left of my chakra to remove the shield.  
The tension and confusion below me carried all the way up to where I was floating.

I saw Sakura shouting something at me, and Temari was holding her back from coming to help me.

I was proud of my sister then…I knew she was fighting within herself to come and help me as well. But she knew the orders I had given her: protect Sakura, no matter what. And before she was my sister, she was a loyal shinobi...

The giant sand shield was almost outside of Suna's borders and every inch it moved burned.  
Pain exploded inside of my body as my chakra was used up.  
Every inch was agony.  
Every centimeter was hell…but I was resolved to do it. I would not be the one to destroy Suna…

When the last of it was over the desert, I released it with a sigh and slumped forward.

Shukaku roared and shrieked at the realization that we were defeated, and that he was at the mercy of this merciless group.  
I knew I would not survive this.  
There was no way I could survive this.

Regret washed through me as I remembered my last interaction with Sakura.  
If only I would have known how tonight was going to turn out…  
I would have went to her on the balcony.  
I would have apologized to her and pulled her close.  
I would have held on to her and never had let her go.  
I would have done so much more…

Baki's words about treasuring every moment with her echoed inside of my head and I cursed at myself because I knew that I hadn't.

At least I made her promise not to pursue me and my attackers…she would be safe, Naruto would be safe.  
I had completed my task and returned Naruto's favor.

Blackness was creeping up on me and surrounded my vision, it would not be long now before I passed out, probably never to awaken again.

I was falling faster now…

There was only one thing left to do before it was all over.

I turned my head to look down at Sakura.  
I saw her staring up at me, struggling against my sister, tears streaming down her face and blowing away in the wind. Her pink hair was sticking to her cheeks from the wetness that had accumulated there.

"Sakura…" I whispered, and I knew that she had heard me because she paused in her struggling and her gaze intensified on me.

"I love you…"

And with that said, I let the blackness engulf me, and the jaws of the monster swallowed me whole.

* * *

I was only semi-aware of my surroundings. 

It was like I was already dead but aware of the things going on around me.

I was floating. Being carried by something that was firmly wrapped around me.  
It was almost comforting to have something holding me so tight…it reminded me of Sakura's embraces.

Then I was released and dropped onto a cold hard floor.

Then voices.  
Voices surrounded me, and I didn't recognize any of them.  
They were talking about getting the wrong Jincuuriki.  
I knew it…I wasn't their target after all.  
But apparently now that they had me, they didn't want to let me go.

A surge of chakra in the room pushed against me, and I was once again floating.  
An ooze like substance surrounded me and I was suspended in the air.

Chanting soon followed and Shukaku hissed and started tearing around inside of me.  
He pressed against my ribcage and I felt as they bent and broke against the pressure.  
Breathing was only available to me in low gasping breaths; and even those were painful.

I couldn't move.  
It felt like I was paralyzed, held in place by this cloud of ooze. But every fiber in my body wanted to thrash out.  
The pain was so agonizing I couldn't bring myself to scream, all I could do was wheeze and gulp as Shukaku poured out from my mouth and eyes.  
It felt like someone was pulling out my innards through my mouth as Shukaku's claws scraped against my eyes in order to stay within me.

He was fighting.  
Fighting for life.  
Fighting for his freedom.

_**Do something boy! **_he yelled at me.

_I can't…_I thought quietly.

He roared again as he clung to my soul for dear life, I knew he would tear it out with him.

Suddenly there was a flash of white light and my mother's face filled in the brightness.  
Then another flash and my father's face stared down at me with stern and hateful eyes.  
He was soon replaced by Temari, Kankuro, and Naruto talking to me. Their mouths were forming words, but there was no sound.  
Then another flash and Sakura was smiling at me.

Sakura…  
I hope she is safe.  
I only wanted the best for her…I hope she moves on and has a family with a husband who loves and protects her.  
And I also hope that she won't forget me and all that we had and could have had…

Shukaku was almost gone now, his voice only a fading echo inside of my head.

I felt lighter…I felt as all of his hatred and bloodlust and sordid thoughts were lifted from my body, and for one second out of my entire life, I was free…then the whiteness that surrounded Sakura's face flashed brighter and engulfed me.

I was still floating, but yet, it felt like my feet were firmly on the ground.

Looking around there was nothing…just white emptiness.

Was this death?

It was a lot more quiet and peaceful then I thought it would be…especially for someone like me.

I looked at my hand…did my existence ever really help someone?

Suddenly I felt someone's presence nearby…looking around I saw…me.

There I was, staring back at myself.

It was a surreal feeling.

I looked so small and insignificant, how could someone with such a small stature strike fear into the hearts of everyone around them?

Why was that 'Gaara'?

Did I have to be that? Had I chosen the wrong path all along?

As I was contemplating this, a soft wind came out of nowhere and blew me away…

I was just a memory now, another state of consciousness.

Something was falling all around me…It was pink sakura peddles.

Looking behind me, I noticed it was the tree that Sakura and I always sat up against at the field in Konoha.

Walking up to it, I sat down and leaned my back against the sturdy trunk of the tree.

And I waited.  
I waited for Sakura to come and join me.  
I would wait for eternity.  
I waited as the nothingness swirled around me…


	19. Chapter 19

**Oh no no no! everyone stop crying!!!  
Here! read this!!! it's happier i promise!!!**

**and just a warning, i'm heading to Florida for a week, so it'll be longer for the next update since the last thing i want to see on vacation is a computer...**

**enjoy everyone! thanks for the amazing reviews once again! and i'll post a new chapter when i return!**

**:-)**

* * *

I don't know how long I was sitting there for.  
Time was nonexistent in this place.  
Warmth surrounded me and filled every cell in my body.  
I was never cold or hot, I was just peacefully and contentedly warm… 

I was alone in this vast empty place, only when I moved was there noise.  
Besides the sakura tree and myself, there was nothing around me, but yet, it was beautiful.

I knew that Sakura would love it here.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps was everywhere.  
I couldn't tell where they were coming from, but someone was coming.  
Was it Sakura?  
Had I really been here that long?  
Would she be old and bent when I saw her again?  
Or would she still be young and vibrant like when I last saw her?

Would she even remember who I was…

A figure started to appear in the distance and I squinted my eyes to see who was invading my dwelling.  
A squat, bent old lady came into view.  
I marveled at the speed of time in this place…Sakura was now an old lady; but it felt like I had just gotten here.

What if she _didn't_ remember me?  
What if her memory was the only thing keeping me here?  
Would the tree I was leaning against turn to ash as the spacious white environment turned to black and flames?  
Would I be forced to watch as my soul ignited on fire and blew away in the wind for eternity?

I squinted harder at the growing figure…it seemed oddly familiar to me…I had seen this person before.  
My memory was like a dull kunai though, almost useless…I couldn't place the name…but her face…

Then it hit me, it was Chiyo.  
The woman who's existence I cursed for sealing the Shukaku within me.  
The one woman I longed to kill, but was forbidden to ever touch.  
My father had placed a law where if I ever physically contacted the woman I would be killed immediately.

I growled at her still growing form as the wind began to blow violently.  
How dare she disturb my rest and waiting…

"What do you want?" I asked her as I stood up from under the tree.

"Gaara…" she said in an old and snapping voice.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"I've come to right the wrong I made many years ago." she said as she finally arrived at where I was standing; but she didn't stop in front of me, she just kept walking by.

Grabbing my arm and squeezing it as she passed, she said, "You'd better get back there. They're all waiting for you."

What was she talking about?  
Get back to where?  
And who was waiting for me?  
I watched as her figure grew smaller again, shrinking into the distance until a brilliant golden wave appeared and swelled in front of her, swallowing her whole.

But it didn't disappear after that, it was now coming for me.

Not wanting to leave this place because of the fear that Sakura would never be able to find me, I began to run.  
I ran as fast as I could away from the killer wave.  
I had seen what it did to Chiyo, and I refused to let the same happen to me.  
Not yet.  
Not without Sakura.

The further I ran, the brighter the white light around me got.  
It got to be so bright, I was forced to cover my eyes.  
Then in a brilliant flash, I was halted from my running and I was swallowed up once again.

The scenery around me changed and I saw myself as a child, crying alone in the desert.  
"Get up." I told the child.  
But my younger self continued to cry, hugging his knees for comfort.  
"GET UP!" I yelled this time as the words echoed around us; but it was like the child didn't even know I was there.  
I sat down next to him and said,"You are so weak…" And I stared straight ahead of me at the deserted place.

Then I heard the child next to me gasp.  
I looked over and saw Naruto as a child patting him on the shoulder.  
"Naruto…" I said to the blonde boy.

Then I felt a heavy hand fall on my own shoulder.  
I looked back, and there was the Naruto I had left behind in the living world.

"Welcome back." he said smiling slightly and my eyes widened at him.

My surroundings suddenly came into focus.  
I was no longer sitting on the cracked earth, but was cushioned by luscious grass and there was a crowd of people standing around me.

Looking around I saw everyone I had once known…Temari and Kankuro were looking down at me smiling along with Naruto. Matsuri and Baki where there as well.

I turned my head and saw Sakura crying over the body of a dead Chiyo.  
Sensing my gaze, Sakura looked up as tears cascaded from her eyes.  
She looked from me to Chiyo, and then back to me again.

Then it all hit me, Chiyo had sacrificed her life for mine…she had brought me back from the dead.  
I was alive and it was all because of her.

Laying the dead woman gently on the ground Sakura walked over to me hesitantly.  
She kneeled down next to me and touched my cheek with her fingertips.  
She pressed and rubbed her fingers against my skin lightly, making sure that this wasn't an illusion and then she engulfed me into a hug as she cried against my shoulder and neck.

Willing my arms to move against the soreness and stiffness, I returned her embrace and pulled her into me.

"Sakura…" I whispered as we held each other.

"You were gone." she sobbed. "I thought I had lost you forever but Chiyo she…" and then she trailed off as she cried harder.

"It looks like you're forever going to be a little brother we have to look after…" Kankuro said smartly, and I knew it was his way of saying 'I'm glad you're back'.

Looking up once again, I noticed that almost everyone in the village was there.  
They had all worked to bring me back…  
My eyes widened at this realization.

Releasing Sakura, I moved to stand up but found that I couldn't do it.  
Just when I was about to give up the idea of standing, I felt a strong hand support me under my left arm…Naruto was helping me up.  
Then I felt as my right arm was slipped around someone's shoulders, and I looked over to see Sakura helping me as well.  
Naruto. My friend.  
Sakura. My best friend and lover.  
Hands pressed against my back as a reassurance and I looked behind me and saw my siblings.  
Temari, Kankuro. My family.

We moved our way over to Chiyo's body and I stared down at the woman and found that I could no longer find hate for her within me.  
She had once destroyed my life, and now she had saved it…  
She had righted the wrong she made, just like she said when she passed me by.

I felt as Sakura's head pressed against my chest and her tears soaked through my shirt to my skin.

"Let's go home." I said in a raspy voice.

Everyone around me nodded as Sakura held onto me tightly.

* * *

It was decided that the others would go ahead of us and search the area for the Akatsuki.  
Kankuro, Temari, Sakura, and myself would make our way back to Suna. Once we were home, Sakura would tend to any medical attention that I needed.  
I told Naruto that he could return to Konoha now, since I knew the threat on his life was now over.  
Before we separated, he patted me on the shoulder and said, "Thank you Gaara."  
I nodded and smiled at him. 

"I'll see you two soon for the wedding!" he said more excitedly as he ran off to catch up with the others.

The wedding…I had completely forgotten about it!  
There wasn't much time left before it…  
I turned to look at Sakura to see if we were still getting married since the last time we had spoken to one another it wasn't on friendly terms.  
She just smiled at me and nodded, her eyes red and puffy from crying.  
I nodded at her as well and then we continued our journey home.

It wasn't long after dark when we set up camp for the night.  
I kept watch, while everyone slept soundly around me.  
Sakura was clasping my waist in a protective grasp as she used me as a pillow.

While the insects chirped and croaked around me, I stared at the fire and reflected.

_Shukaku…_I thought and waited for his reply.  
But then I remembered that he was now gone, and I would never be able to hold another conversation with him again.

I felt so light and free now…  
Shukaku was gone, along with his hatred and bloodlust.  
A calm was now in my stomach instead of the constant burning of his hatred towards everyone.

I was happy to be free of the demon.

But yet…  
Some part of my being was saddened at this fact.  
I had lost my first friend I had ever made.  
Shukaku had been the one constant in my life, and now he was gone.  
For the first time in my life, I was truly alone.

It just wasn't me and Shukaku anymore... it was just me.  
A shiver ran up my spine and I didn't hold it back.  
My body trembled as coldness crept through my veins.

Sakura moved her head and mumbled something against my stomach and it tore me away from my thoughts. That coldness was immediately replaced by warmth once again.  
I placed my hand softly on the back of her head and moved my fingers through her hair.

I wasn't alone…I had Sakura.  
She was my new constant.  
I smiled at this realization, and turned my eyes up towards the sky.

The desert was close by, I could feel the few grains of sand in the wind that was blowing.

"Goodbye Shukaku." I said quietly to the breeze, and I let it carry my words to wherever he was now.

* * *

When Suna came into view once again, I had gained enough strength back to where I no longer needed help walking.  
For that I was grateful.  
By now, everyone would have heard that Shukaku was removed and they all probably doubted my capabilities at protecting them… 

I needed to show them that I was still strong and that I was still a capable leader.  
In fact, I was an even _better_ leader now without Shukaku.

As the four of us walked to our home, everyone gathered in the streets and cheered.  
Some patted me on the back while children ran around us jumping up and down.

"You've been missed." Temari leaned over and whispered into my ear. "Give them a wave Gaara."

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and then I lifted my arm up into the air.  
The cheering got louder at my motion.

"Come on, I need to look you over still." Sakura said as she gently pushed me forward.

"We'll leave you two alone, we're starving so we're going to get something to eat. Do you want us to bring you two something to back?" Kankuro offered.

"No. I have to see what kind of condition he's in so I don't know what he can and can't eat yet." Sakura said as she again took my hand and moved forward once again.

When we got to our house, she led me straight to the bedroom and ordered me to sit on the bed and to remove my clothes.  
I did was she told me to do slowly since everything was still sore.

As serious as I had ever seen her, she took my temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, and scanned my body for any other injuries I might have.  
When she was finished, she let out a sigh of relief and sat next to me on the bed.

"Everything is back to normal. You're going to be sore for a few days while the rigor mortis works its way out of your body, but other then that you're fine. Just take it easy for about a week and then you can start training again."

I nodded at her while I dressed once again.

She leaned back on the bed and sighed once again as she stared up at the ceiling.

Sitting down next to her I said quietly, "You broke your promise."

Resting her gaze on me she asked, "What promise?"

"You promised me that you wouldn't come after me." I said.

She rolled onto her side and smirked, "You broke your promise too."

"No I didn't…"

"Yes you did. You promised me that you would be _careful_. And I don't think saving the whole village from a bomb and taking on a member of the Akatsuki by yourself constitutes as being careful." She sat up then and scooted closer to me. "But, I understand why you did it."

Pulling her into as tight of a hug as I could manage, I whispered, "I'm glad you broke your promise."

A small smile graced her face as she pulled way from me.

She grabbed my hand and rubbed her fingers over mine in a soothing pattern. "That rose that you gave me broke…" she said sadly.

Confused I asked, "What rose?"

"The rose you sent me with a letter, don't you remember? It was after you returned to Suna from the hospital and I first started to write you."

"You still have that thing?"

"Of course I do!" she exclaimed. "It's the nicest thing someone has ever given me. Only it…" and she trailed off and pointed to a shelf in the room.

I looked over at where she was pointing, and instead of seeing a rose, there was just a pile of sand.  
The rose must have lost its shape when I died since I was no longer around to keep the chakra charged…

Moving my hand, I commanded the sand to once again form a rose.  
I let it to float over to us and Sakura held out her hands as the rose was gently placed into them.  
Smiling at it, she set it on the dresser next to the bed and then embraced me in a hug.

I felt as a few of her tears ran down my neck as she whispered, "You know, you didn't have to die in order for me not to be mad at you anymore."

Pulling her in tighter I responded, "Sakura, I'm sorry for what I did and didn't do. I..."

She pulled way from me then and covered my mouth with her hand in order to silence me.

"No, don't. let's just forget about the whole thing. We were both being stupid and childish that day. Let's just move on."

I nodded in agreement.

"How long do we have before the wedding?" I asked since I had no idea how long I was really gone for.

"There's only three days left…" Sakura said as she smiled at me.

" Are you still up for it?" I asked.

"Of course I am!" she smiled and laughed at me. "You're not getting out of it _that_ easily."

I rolled my eyes at her and said sarcastically, "You mean dying isn't an excuse to get out of it?"

She laughed and pushed my shoulder playfully, "No it's not. In fact, if you hadn't have come back when you did, I was going to march into the afterlife and drag your soul's sorry ass back here so that we can make this official."

We both laughed then.  
If felt good to laugh.  
And what's more, it felt good to laugh with her.

We both stopped laughing as our eyes met.  
Leaning in to kiss one another, our lips were almost touching when a knock on the door stopped our movement.

"So is he going to live this time?" Kankuro's voiced filtered through the door.

Sakura jumped out of bed and swung open the door happily, "Yep! He's fine!"

Kankuro, Temari, and Sakura all looked over at me sitting on the bed.

"Well come on then! Let's go celebrate! The town is holding a big festival tonight in your honor Gaara…"

I nodded and smiled at him, there was a celebration being held in my honor…I never thought I would see the day.

Temari mentioned something to Sakura about getting dressed and ready and they both squeeled at the idea.

Kankuro and I rolled our eyes at the same time and he walked over and sat next to me on the bed.

"Well that's going to take a few hours…" he muttered.

I nodded in agreement, "I hope this thing is going on all night, because we won't be there any time soon."

Sighing and leaning back on the bed at the same time, we both stared at the ceiling enjoying our time together in silence.

* * *

Happy shouts and cheers could be heard throughout Suna as everyone danced and drank.  
Huge bonfires were set up while the people danced and jumped around them to the music that was playing.  
Everyone was smiling and laughing, and once we arrived to the core of the celebration, the laughing and dancing escalated to a higher level. 

Kankuro was immediately dancing, looking for a girl to dance with; which he found almost immediately.  
Temari pulled Sakura out dancing as well, showing her how the dances went so that Sakura could learn them.  
I found myself chuckling at the pair as Temari tried to show Sakura a complicated move and Sakura messed it up repeatedly.

Eventually a man came over and grabbed Temari, pulling her into the dance with him.

Sakura laughed and walked over to me shrugging, "I tried."

"You did good." I shouted over the music.

"You'll have to show me sometime." she yelled back.

I nodded at her in agreement.

"Aren't you going to dance?" she asked.

"I will when it's a dance I know isn't too taxing on me…I'm still pretty sore."

She bobbed her head in understanding, "Just don't over do it!"

Throughout the night, many people came up to us and hugged Sakura and patted me on the shoulder.  
Some held conversations with us; but mostly it was a supportive gesture and they would return to the celebration.

Eventually the music toned down to a moderate beat and Temari and Kankuro charged up to me and yanked me out to dance.  
I voiced my protests, but they didn't seem to reach their ears.  
We stood in a line with the others that were dancing and started the sequenced dance that every Sunaian knew.

Normally I don't dance, but because of this new found freedom within me, I found myself not caring and joined in.  
Temari and Kankuro laughed and shouted with everyone else as the song went on, and I found myself smiling and even laughing along with them.

Life felt good now, it wasn't just a burden anymore.

I looked over at Sakura and found her smiling and laughing as she clapped her hands to the beat.

After the song was over, a much slower song began to play and I walked over to Sakura and grabbed her hand.

"No!" she protested, "I don't know how to!"

"I'll show you." I said as I pulled her up, "It's easy."

Once out on the dancing area, I told her to wrap her arms around my neck, and I placed my hands on her hips.

"Now you just shuffle back and forth." I said and she followed my lead.

"This is it?" she asked me stupefied.

I nodded, "That's it."

"Well geez! How come Temari couldn't start me out on this one?"

I chuckled and pulled her in tighter.  
I rested my head against hers and wrapped my arms around her tighter while she rested her head on my chest.

"You know…" she said as we continued to dance, "we never got to finish that kiss from before…"

I released her slightly and said, "Well, do you feel like kissing the undead?"

She hit my chest and laughed, "You're not undead! You're just _not_ dead. And that's one thing I will be thankful for the rest of my life."

I leaned in then and locked her lips against mine.  
We continued to dance while we kissed, enjoying the moment with each other.  
And to think there was almost a chance where I wouldn't be able to do this right now…

The music stopped and we stopped kissing along with it.  
Looking around, everyone was smiling at us.  
Sakura blushed the deepest shade of red I had ever seen and buried her face into my chest.

I smiled at her embarrassment and wrapped my arms around her.  
I looked over at Temari who was smiling and then at Kankuro as he let out a loud cat-call.  
I walked over to them with difficulty since Sakura was still hiding from everyone.  
By the time we were back at our seats, another lively song was being played and everyone was once again twirling and jumping together.

"What are you two still doing here?!" asked Temari as she nudged us away. "Go home! Enjoy your time alone in the house together! Kankuro and I will probably be out here for a few more hours."

I looked at Sakura who was staring back at me smiling.  
I nodded to my siblings and then motioned for Sakura to start walking back to the house.

While we were leaving, everyone stopped and cheered at me one more time.  
I bowed to them showing my appreciation, and then continued walking home.

* * *

Once back at our room, I grabbed a towel and told Sakura that I was going to take a quick shower.  
She nodded and sat on the bed pulling out a book. 

In the shower I felt as the water pulsed against my sore body and relieved the knots and aches that were still there.  
It felt like everything was washing down the drain…  
Not wanting to keep Sakura waiting too long, I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around my waist and returned to my room.

Sakura had taken the time alone as a chance to light candles around the bedroom and stood waiting for me in a silk nightgown. It was a simple pink one, but it looked amazing on her.

Smiling, I walked up to her as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

Running my hands up her sides I said, "What did I tell you about wearing clothes to bed…"

She laughed then and pulled me into a kiss.

That night I promised myself that every moment I had with Sakura I would treasure and make as happy as I possibly could.  
I would never take our time for granted again.  
I was already on borrowed time.  
I had died.  
And now I was back.  
I was given a second chance, and there was no way I was going to mess this life up like I did the last one…


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm back!  
'twas a crazy vacation, but i survived and present to you yet ANOTHER chapter.**

**it was nice coming home to all of those amazing reviews...thanks everyone once again!**

**i gotta give a shout out to my girl Sakuradeathblossom because she drew me yet another amazing pic from this story (and i WILL steal that purse from you! beat me with sticks, baseball bats, whatever! it will be MINE!!!).**

**anyways...i wish i had written some of the ideas that came to me while on vacation down because when i got home, i couldn't remember _any_ of them...so this is what you get. **

**enjoy!**

**:-)**

* * *

The day before the wedding, Tsunade, Naruto, and a bunch of other shinobi that were Sakura's friends including the Nara boy, Lee, TenTen, Neji, Kakashi, Hinata, and an obnoxious blonde haired girl arrived.  
Sakura and I greeted them at the gates, since that was the customary greeting between all of the kages.  
I had to dress in my formal wear, along with Sakura who was wearing her kage robes for the first time.  
It was just a simple white dress with a single blue stripe down each side and the sign for 'wind' on the back.  
I hated wearing my robes, but apparently she loved wearing hers because she wouldn't stop talking about them...

As the group approached, I had to grip her hand tightly in order to keep her by my side and prevent her from rushing towards them.  
I knew she was overly excited about the whole ordeal, but I could not let her break protocol because of mere emotions.

I bowed to Tsunade and welcomed her to Suna once again.  
She bowed to me as well and returned the formal greeting.  
I motioned for them to follow me into the city, which the group did gladly.

Sakura embraced her friend, who I now remembered as Ino, and I heard the girl mumble something about the heat and the sand.  
I rolled my eyes and sighed inwardly at the blonde, but I forced myself to keep my patience because this was important to Sakura.

Swallowing my agitation I said, "Water and food, as well as showers, are all provided in the rooms that you will be staying in."

Ino spun around to face me and smiled widely, "Thank you Kazekage-sama."

"It's Gaara." I said biting back my agitation once again.

I didn't think it was possible, but her smile grew even larger as she repeated my name back to me.

I knew Sakura could tell that I was agitated, but she didn't say anything to her friend.  
She just motioned for Ino to go ahead with the group, promising a night of girl-talk, and then joined me once again.

Grabbing my hand and squeezing it, she gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you for this." she whispered, her eyes shining up at me. "I know it was just supposed to be the two of us in the ceremony but…"

"It's your wedding too, Sakura." I said, cutting her off. "If this is how you want it, then that's how it will be. Just keep Ino on mute."

She smiled up at me again laughing and kissed my cheek, "I'll keep her comments to a minimum." she winked at me.

I smirked at her and noticed Naruto bounding towards us.

"GAARA!" he yelled loudly as he jumped on me, knocking the wind out of me with a strong hug.

Lee came over as well and hit me hard on my back. I assume he meant the gesture to be friendly…

"It's good to see you up and moving!" the green boy said smiling at me and sporting a thumbs up.

This was way too much for me to handle.  
The restraint on my agitation was running dangerously low...

Luckily, Sakura noticed this and ushered the two away from me. "Go get freshened up you two, there will be plenty of time to talk later." she said as she pushed them towards the building at which they would all be staying.

Naruto escaped from her pushing and whispered into my ear, "We still have to talk later."

I nodded at him before Sakura grabbed him once again and pushed him away.

Letting out a heavy breath, I gave Sakura a weary look.

"It's only for a few days," she said trying to reassure me as she rubbed her hand up and down my arm. "Besides, they're just excited about everything. Once they all settle down it won't be so bad."

"Promise?" I asked her.

"I promise." she said, smiling once again.

The moment was interrupted by loud yells from the girls that had come from Konoha, "Sakura! Come with us! We have to figure out how we're going to do your hair for the wedding tomorrow!"

Squeezing her hand, I told her to go join her friends.  
Giving me a quick kiss, she ran ahead to the girls.

I stood in the street, trying to recompose my shattered politesse, when suddenly I was bumped into by Lee's sensei, Gai.

"Hello Gaara!" he said as she flashed me a smile, "Where should I put these?"

I looked up at the mountain of boxes that the man was carrying.

"What are they?" I asked.

"Wedding presents of course!" he said. "I volunteered to carry all of them since it would be good training!"

I clenched my jaw and chewed and swallowed my words of agitated sarcasm.

"Follow me." I said as I walked in front of him to my house, my eye twitching the whole way.

When the last of the presents had been loaded into my house, as well as a few boxes that Gai was told to put at the site of the ceremony directly, I led him to where he was staying and then transported myself back to my house.

Sitting down on one of the boxes I placed my head in my hands and worked away the migraine that was building.

"She _had_ to have a big wedding…" I mumbled.

Good thing the wedding was tomorrow, and this would all be over and we would be left to ourselves once again.

* * *

A big dinner was held at my house that night.  
Luckily Kankuro and I talked Temari out of cooking for it, and she hired one of the most well-known chefs in all of Suna to cook.

The long banquet table was filled with delectable foods of all kinds as well as laughter and happy chatter.

I sat at one head of the table while Sakura sat at the other. Every once in a while we would flash each other looks and smiles.  
This apparently went unnoticed by everyone _but _Tsunade who was seated next to me and kept flashing me a knowing smirk.

After everyone had eaten and drank the wine that was served, Tsunade announced that it was time for Sakura to open her presents.

I made a beeline for the back of the room and sat in the shadows, the other guys in the group followed me as well since we knew this was a time for the girls; but leaving them alone was out of the question since we knew that it would only anger them.

Naruto sat next to me while I watched Sakura open her first present, breaking the ribbon that was tied around it.  
I heard Naruto whisper, "Can we talk now?"

Rolling my eyes as the girls pointed at the broken ribbon and squealed that it meant that we were going to have a child, I welcomed Naruto's interruption and gave him my full attention.

"I meant to do this earlier, but…" Naruto swallowed hard and finished, "certain _events_ came up."

Knowing full well that he was talking about my abduction and death, I nodded at him and motioned for him to continue.  
This seemed to put Naruto at ease a little since he was obviously nervous.

"I just want to make sure that you aren't going to hurt Sakura. She's been through so much and…" another squeal from the girls as Sakura broke another ribbon forced Naruto to stop and wait for it to quiet down. Continuing he said, "I just want to make sure your intentions are pure."

I smiled slightly at the boy next to me.  
It amazed me how protective he was of her.  
He was probably the closest thing to a father I'm sure I was going to get from Sakura's side of the family.

I opened my mouth to respond but was interrupted by more loud squeals.  
Looking over at Sakura, I noticed that she was beat red and was looking at Tsunade weirdly.  
Something was going on, but I didn't know what…it reminded me of the hospital when Tsunade was playing matchmaker.

Returning my attention to Naruto, I asked, "Do you think I'm the type of guy to be false towards anyone?"

Naruto laughed and hit me playfully on the back, "Nah. I don't think you've ever told a lie in your life! Even when you should have… I know you'll treat her well, I just have to do my duty as her friend and make sure."

I smiled at him again and returned the gesture of patting him on the back.

Another squeal was heard throughout the room and I groaned.  
I really wish Sakura would be more careful with those ribbons…

I looked up at her once again but the blush that was once there was now gone and a pale sickly color covered her face.  
I watched as she smiled at her friends, but it looked forced.  
Taking another present from the pile, she brought her hand to her forehead and steadied herself.  
I stood up immediatly and walked over to her.  
Something was wrong, and she was trying not to let anyone know; but I saw through this act immediately.

Pressing my hand to the small of her back, I whispered into her ear, "Are you okay?"

Her eyes were dull as she looked up at me, "I just need some fresh air."

"Go out to the balcony. I'll go get you some cold water to drink and I will join you out there."

She nodded at me and made her way outside.

I looked at Tsunade and the woman took that as a cue to say something as everyone immediately swarmed around us to make sure that Sakura was okay.

Pushing everyone back, Tsunade announced, "Everyone calm down, she is just a little overexcited is all. Gaara and Sakura will rejoin us in a moment. Until then, bring out the sake!"

Everyone cheered at this and resumed their party.

* * *

As soon as I closed the door behind me on the balcony, their cheerful voices were shut out and the quiet of the night greeted me as I made my way over to Sakura who was leaning on the balcony staring out over Suna.

"Are you feeling any better?" I asked her as I handed her the glass of water.  
I noticed that the color had now returned to her face and she looked like her usual self once again.

Sipping at the water she nodded and said, "I'm much better now. I think it was just all of the excitement getting to me. Plus I'm nervous about tomorrow."

"You're nervous?"

"Well…yeah. Aren't you?"

I shook my head 'no' as I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waste pulling her into me.

"If I was, I'd never let you know."

She playfully tickled my side and I flinched away from her game.

"You need to stop breaking those ribbons on the presents." I mumbled to her.

She laughed and shrugged at me, "I'm trying, but they just keep breaking."

"Hn."

Turning to face me she said seriously, "The girls said that I have to stay in their room tonight since seeing the bride on the day of the wedding prior to the actual event is bad luck, but before they do, I would like to talk to you."

"You Leaf people and your superstitions…" I said shaking my head, but then I followed it with a nod in agreement to her request and pulled her close to me once again.

The idea of sleeping alone that night was not appealing at all.  
I had grown accustomed to her company at night to the point where the years that I had spent the nights alone seemed surreal to me.

"Come on." she said as she took my hand, "let's go back inside."

I nodded at her and followed her in.

* * *

Sakura grabbed another present and opened it, and much to my dismay, broke _another_ ribbon.  
I sighed once again and resumed my seat in the back of the room.

"How many ribbons is that now?" Kankuro asked as he jabbed me in my ribs with his elbow.

"Too many." I mumbled back to him, but inside the idea of having a lot of kids made me happy and I had to stop the smile from showing on my face.

Suddenly cat whistles and girlish laughter was heard throughout the room and I looked up at Sakura who was the darkest shade of red I had ever seen.  
Trying to find the cause of her embarrassment, I looked at what she was holding.  
Apparently someone had given her lingerie as a present…

I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks and I had to turn my head away in order to hide the pink that now resided on my face.

I don't care how much I had changed…whoever had given her that present was dead.

* * *

As the party broke up, everyone started to leave the house and return to their rooms.

The girls were dragging Sakura out of the door, but she pulled away and said that she would join them later, but she had to talk to me first.

The girls reluctantly left with the threat that if she stayed here, they would come in during the night and kidnap her.

Temari and Kankuro were picking up the mess that was left behind and Sakura offered to help them, but Temari just shook her head 'no'.

"Not a chance. You two go talk about whatever needs to be talked about before tomorrow. We can handle this."

Sakura nodded and then pulled me to the window.  
Apparently she wanted to go out on the roof to talk.  
I followed her lead and sat down next to her staring at the full moon that was directly in front of us, it was large against the vastness of the desert.

As soon as I sat down, she pulled me into a kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.  
The kiss lasted for a few moments until we had to break for air.

"Much better." she said as she snuggled close to me as protection and warmth against the cold night wind. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

I smirked as I wrapped my arm around her to protect her further from the cold.

"What did you want to talk about?"

She sighed and pulled away from me. She looked me right in the eye and said, "I want your permission as the Kazekage to work at the hospital as a fulltime medic shinobi. I'm a medic nin after all, and Suna's medics are in need of a good teacher. I knew that the medical program was behind here, but I didn't realize how far behind it was until I saw them work on Kankuro when he was poisoned. I want to work, Gaara. I want to be helpful. I just don't want to be a wife and sit at home and wait around for you to come home everyday and pop out a kid every year like I'm expected to do."

I laughed slightly and said, "What made you think that that was what you were supposed to do? I never said that."

She shrugged and said, "The elders implied it."

"Well, you let me worry about the elders. You can do whatever you like. I would be more then happy for you to work at the hospital in order to improve our medical staff there."

Satisfied with my answer, she rested her head on my lap and stared up at the stars while I leaned back on my hands and looked at the stars as well.

"Sakura…" I said quietly after a few moments. "What exactly happened when I was kidnapped?"

I felt her body stiffen at my question and she turned her head away from the sky and directed it out towards the desert.

"Why do you want to know?" she asked quietly, and I felt as a tear soaked through the pants that I was wearing.

"Because I need to. I want to know what happened instead of it being a mystery to me. I'm tired of people tiptoeing around the subject like it never happened. No matter how hard you avoid it, it still happened."

She sighed and sat up while wiping her face.  
She lowered her head and played with her hands the entire time she retold what happened after I was defeated.

She told me how Kankuro went after me and was poisoned and how she had saved him.  
She told me how Naruto, Chiyo, Kakashi, and herself, along with Gai's team went after me.  
She told me about the battle between Sasori and herself and Chiyo.  
She told me everything…

It was hard to hear it, but I remained silent and didn't move a muscle throughout the whole thing.

When she was finished, she looked away from me and I could see as the moon illuminated the tears on her cheeks.  
Wiping them away with my thumb, I thanked her for telling me what no one was willing to.

She looked at me and her eyes filled with tears once again, the water threatened to spill out, but she was holding them back.

"There's more." she said as her voice quivered.

"Tell me." I said gently, trying to not make it sound like the order that it was.

Taking a deep shaky breath she said quietly, "When I went to visit Leaf with Temari, I wasn't feeling well. Tsunade examined me herself and she…" she broke off there and sniffed.  
She closed her eyes and the tears finally broke free of the barrier that she had made for them.

"She what?" I prodded, becoming impatient.  
Whatever the news was, it was big and I wanted to know.

Sakura only looked at me, her eyes searching my face for something.

Grabbing her arms forcefully, I squeezed and demanded, "She _what?!_"

Sakura broke down then and cried into my chest as she let everything spill out in one large exhalation, "She discovered that I was pregnant! I had no idea because it was too early for any signs but she found it almost immediately…I'm so sorry Gaara! I wanted to tell but I didn't know how to tell you, and I was going to tell you when I got back to Suna but then we got into that fight and then you got kidnapped and then afterwards I wanted you to just focus on getting better and not worry about me and…" at this point she could no longer talk as she sobbed into my chest grabbing onto my shirt.

My eyes were wide and my arms automatically wrapped around her, but I had no conscious knowledge that I was doing so…my mind was fixed on the news that I had just gotten.

Sakura was pregnant.  
She was pregnant with _my_ child.  
And she didn't tell me...

A wide array of emotions coursed through me.  
I was happy.  
I was scared.  
And I was angry.

Eventually she ran out of tears and she pulled away from me.

"Talk to me…" she said quietly searching my face once again.

"I don't know what to say…" I said shaking my head.

"Say something! Say anything! Just don't sit there!" she said yelling.

I opened and closed my mouth a least a half-dozen times before I finally got some words out, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to tell you at the right time. I was afraid if I caught you at the wrong moment you would be mad and call off the wedding and throw me out onto the streets…"

"Why would you think that?" I was hurt that she could even imagine me being so callous and cruel.

She shrugged and said, "I honestly don't know…"

We sat in silence for a while.

"Are you happy?" she asked me, breaking the silence that hung around us.

"I'm so happy that I don't know how to express it. I…_we_ are going to be parents…I never thought in a million years that this would ever happen to me…"

She smiled widely at me.

"I _am_ hurt that you were afraid to tell me though. And I'm even more upset that you broke your promise to not come after me when you knew full well that you were pregnant. What if something happened to you or the baby Sakura!? What then?!"

"What good is sitting safe at home when I know you're out there dead or dying?" she fired back.

I shook my head at her, "You should have stayed here where it was safe."

She crawled near to me again and pulled me close to her.

"Tsunade examined me once we returned and nothing is wrong with me _or_ the baby. And most importantly, you're back home as well. So everything worked out in the end."

I pulled away slightly and rested the palm of my hand on her flat lower belly.

"How far along are you?"

"I'm about a month." she said as she placed her hand over mine.

I pulled her to me and kissed her senseless.

Breaking our kiss I asked, "Any more news for me?"

Sakura shook her head 'no' and resumed the kiss. 

* * *

We sat in silence for a while, basking in the news of Sakura's pregnancy as we held each other close and stared up at the sky.  
Sakura's soft laughter pulled me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head and said, "It's nothing."

"Tell me." I said as I shifted my position to face her.

Smiling and letting out a deep breath she said, "It's just ironic that the purest love I've ever known exists in the man that was never loved."

I smiled at this as well.

Looking at me she added, "Until now."

"It's all thanks to you." I said.

Sitting up once again, Sakura said, "I'd better get going to Ino's room. Otherwise she'll come knocking on the door and wake all of Suna up."

I nodded at her reluctantly.  
I didn't want her to go before, and now that she had given me the news of her pregnancy, I _definitely _didn't want her to go now.

Bending down and giving me one more long kiss she whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow at the wedding." and then she started to walk towards the window.

"You'd better be there." I called after her.

She turned around and smiled at me.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

And with that, she disappeared inside of the house.  
I watched her as she walked down the street and was pulled inside of the housing building by Ino and the other girls.

* * *

Not tired at all, I decided to take a walk through the streets.

The night was quiet and the streets were dark and empty.  
Everyone was sound asleep by now.

I felt a presence and immediately recognized Tsunade's chakra. "I take it she told you." she said.

I turned to face her and nodded.

The woman smiled at me and said, "I'm happy for you two."

"They're both healthy, right?" I asked her.

Tsunade smiled and nodded at me and confirmed what Sakura had said earlier.

"I would like you to examine her throughout the pregnancy." I said to her.

"I would be honored." she said as she bowed towards me.

I rolled my eyes at her action and said, "You know I hate that…"

"I know, but the occasion called for it."  
She started to walk away then and said, "I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you have plenty to think about tonight."  
And with that she was gone and once again I was alone.

I returned to the house and went to my room.

Sakura's absence depressed me and I found myself staring up at the ceiling in bed thinking about things to come.

I must have nodded off at some point because the next thing I remember was Naruto jumping up and down on my bed yelling that it was time for me to get up and get ready for the wedding.

Sitting up, I pushed him out of the room using my sand and rubbed my eyes.

Reflecting on the night before, a small smile returned to my face.

I was going to be a father soon.  
And today I was getting _married_…


	21. Chapter 21

**Ugh. i _hate_ weddings! so this chapter was probably the hardest one for me to do...  
Sakuradeathblossom, your constant running around naked has now become a form of celebration in Suna...see if you can find it.  
and to Dark-Neko-Princess: remember that creepy old men ALWAYS have the best candy...especially the kind that comes out of the backs of large white vans or deep in the woods. some of those guys even have puppies for you to see...  
:-P just kidding!**

**anyways, thanks EVERYONE for the reviews! i just looked at my stats and i have 200-something reviews!  
that amazes me...i never thought my story would be embraced like this...  
oh no, i'm getting all misty-eyed...so without further delay... the next chapter!**

**:-)**

* * *

I passed through our wedding as if it was all just a dream. 

The room in which the ceremony was held was secretly decorated by Sakura's friends with potted plants, bouquets, and flower peddles.  
I was dressed in my formal Kazekage robes along with the hat, as was Sakura. But Ino had done her hair up with a bunch of cherry blossoms that were intertwined together.  
She was a goddess.  
And she was smiling during the whole ceremony…

The ceremony was short, as are all Suna marriages.  
All it requires is for the two people getting married to bite the tips of the other's finger and then press them together.  
Once that is done, the blood pact has been made and the two are officially married.

As we pressed our fingers together, everyone in the room cheered and threw flower peddles at us.  
Cheers were heard from outside of the building as well since all of Suna had gathered outside for the event.

Hand in hand, Sakura and I walked out of the building and presented ourselves to the villagers.  
Upon our sighting, their cheers grew even louder as people jumped around and threw sand in the air as celebration. Some villagers started dancing excitedly, while some even stripped off of their clothes and ran and jumped into the water pools; which was rarely done since water was such a precious commodity. When someone did such an action, it was meant to show the person or persons they were doing it for just how happy they really were, to the point where they didn't care about the necessities of life because their happiness would sustain them.

Sakura laughed and smiled at everyone and waved enthusiastically.

Together we walked up the stairs towards a balcony that was used to make official Suna announcements. I had to now make a speech, much to my dismay, because it was part of the ritual.  
Tsunade was waiting for me on the balcony since she had to make a speech as well since she was Sakura's leader and had to denounce her as a Leaf shinobi.

When we had reached the top, the cheers slowly died down and everyone awaited our speeches.

Tsunade started, "Citizens of Suna! I, Tsunade, Hokage of Leaf would like to commemorate this joyous occasion with a gift to present to Kazekage Gaara and Kazehime Sakura.

Two large boxes were then brought by Gai and Kakashi onto the balcony.  
Sakura stepped forward towards one and I towards the other.  
We simultaneously unwrapped them and in front of us stood two budding Sakura tree saplings. One had a bright pink flower, the other had a blood red flower.

Sakura ran over and hugged Tsunade tightly, and I walked over and shook her hand as I bowed.

Again the people cheered as they all stared at the two trees, in which some had never seen the likes of before.

Raising my hands into the air to silence them, I said to Tsunade, "A greenhouse will be built on the grounds of my home in order to house these gifts and insure that they thrive, much like the relationship between our two countries."

I then turned my attention to the people and added, "Another greenhouse will be built in the city where all of the flowers that were brought from Leaf for the ceremony will be planted so that all the people in Suna can enjoy them as well."

Cheers went up again at this news.

Turning my attention once again to Tsunade, we both bowed to each other.

Tsunade's face then turned serious as she took Sakura's Leaf headband from her and scratched a line across it. "Haruno Sakura," she said in an authoritive voice, "I denounce you from Leaf. You will now be treated as a foreign shinobi whenever you return."

I stepped forward then and presented her with a Suna headband and said, "Sabaku no Sakura, I present to you a Sand headband. You are now a citizen of Suna, and will be treated as such."

Sakura bowed and took the object from my hands and tied it around her forehead.  
Offering her my hand, she took it and stepped to the front of the balcony with me.

"Citizens of Suna, I present to you your Kazehime, and my wife, Sabaku no Sakura!"

Cheers echoed throughout the desert as everyone cheered.  
Sakura bowed low to them and then to Tsunade and I.

Grabbing her hand once again, we both bowed to everyone once again and then left the balcony with Tsunade.

The ceremony was officially over…and we were finally married.

* * *

A week later, all of the excitement had died down and Tsunade, along with Sakura's friends, all returned home. 

The two Sakura trees were now in a greenhouse that had been built, and Sakura made sure that they were taken care of properly.  
She called them her 'training babies'.

It was still hard for me to grasp the fact that we were married now.  
It still seemed surreal to me…  
After all that I had been through, how did my life take this radical turn?

I found myself longing to go home everyday while I sat in my office and tried to juggle all of the paperwork as well as repress the elders' growing egos.  
It seemed now that Shukaku was gone, they felt that they could overstep their positions and challenge me in whatever I did.  
I had to show them that I was not weak, that I could still be the monster that they had once seen me as.

They had to be retaught their positions…

But that was hard for me to do since everyday Sakura came by and visited me at my office, usually bringing me lunch and lecturing me on taking better care of myself.

It was a nonstop barrage of lectures on better eating habits and more sleeping hours.  
I was starting to get comfortable with sleeping, but after years of never sleeping, it was hard for me to fall into this new habit.  
I didn't even like to sleep now that I had to do it.  
Whenever I woke up, my head hurt and I felt worse then I had prior to falling asleep. Not to mention the nightmares that constantly plagued me…

On more then one occasion, Sakura had lectured me on such things right in front of the elders; further lowering their fear of me.  
And I found it extremely difficult to scold or threaten the elders with her around since she had this annoying way of replacing my rage and agitation with a peaceful warmth.

However, one day I had had enough.  
I finally snapped at them all.

During a meeting, the elders were hounding me on my recent decision to add on another wing to the hospital, saying that it was unnecessary and that I was only doing it in order to appease my wife.

What they failed to see was that this new wing could be used not only for overflow rooms, but also as a lab in order to create and practice new healing techniques that would only strengthen our increasingly improving medical care.

Sakura had chosen this exact moment to burst through the doors, without knocking, and placed my lunch down in front of me. Standing over me, she waited until I took a bite out of it.

The elders were all smirking at me, and one bravely said, "Who runs this country Gaara? You or your wife?"

That's when it happened.  
Something inside of my head snapped and everything in my eyesight was shaded in red.

Reaching my hand out to the man, my sand quickly entered the man's open mouth and ripped out his tongue; dropping it down in the center of the large round table that we were all sitting at.

All of the elders gasped and jumped up from their seats and Sakura screamed.  
The elder that had just been attacked writhed on the floor as he slowly died by choking on his own blood.

I got up and casually walked over to him. "_I_ run this country." I said, glaring hard at the dying man. "And it's Kazekage-sama to you, _not_ Gaara."

I returned my attention to the old men around me and said, "You have all been overstepping yourselves and I suggest that you return to the way things were before Shukaku was removed. Otherwise you will all die in worse ways then this man here. Shukaku may be gone, but I will have no qualms in destroying each and every one of your wretched little lives. If even _one_ of you doubts my ability to run and protect Suna, then remember this moment. I am the Kazekage, and you will all treat me as such. Sakura is my wife, and is therefore higher then all of you. If anyone talks about her in such a disrespectful manner again, you will _wish_ for death long before I am through with you. Is this understood?"

All of them nodded their heads at me as fear once again resided in their eyes.

"Now leave us."

They scurried out of the room, and the door was slammed behind them.

Using my sand to pick up the now dead elder, I threw him out of an open window and down onto the streets below.

Turning to face Sakura, I saw her standing there staring at me in fear and anger.

"Why did you do that?!" she yelled.

"There are certain protocols here Sakura, and you must abide by them."

"You didn't have to kill him!"

"Yes I did. I had to prove a point."

"And what was the point?!"

"I had to show them that I can still be the ruthless man that I was before, and that not even you have power over me. When we are at home, you are free to treat me in any way and act in any way that you see fit. But when you step into this building, you have to remember that you are my wife. You may be in a higher position then the elders, but you are still under me, and you will act accordingly."

Biting her tongue, her gaze fell to the floor.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I added softly, "I value your opinions and wish that you continue to give them to me. But when your actions make others think that you are manipulating me, it becomes an issue." I walked over to her and lifted her gaze to meet mine, "Please do not make me do this again."

She nodded once and then quickly left the room.

Ever since that day, the elders treated me as they should and no longer challenged my position or Sakura's control over me. Sakura also remained a model of how the Kazehime should act while she was in the main Kazekage building and never rudely disrupted me again…

* * *

Months flew by, and I watched as Sakura's stomach started to bulge.  
It seemed the more the baby grew, the more my doubts grew as well.  
It seemed that my doubts and my fears were intertwined with the baby, and the closer the due date came, the more I doubted my fathering abilities. 

I became standoffish once again, and I could see that it hurt Sakura.

I avoided her like the plague and often stayed nights in my office where she didn't bother me.

One night, I was in the room where the four statues of the previous Kazekages were displayed in.  
All of the lights were off since everyone had left for the night, and the statues were bathed in the cold moonlight.  
I stood in front of my father's statue and contemplated my upcoming fatherhood.

The sound of the door opening tore me out of my thoughts and I heard Sakura's quiet voice say, "Gaara, what's the matter?"

"Nothing." I said shortly.

"There's something wrong. You haven't been yourself lately…"

"I _am_ being myself Sakura. I have always been like this."

"Not with me you haven't."

"Is there something you want? Or have you come to pester me with more questions?"

"What did I do to make you so angry with me?!" she yelled as her voice cracked.

I knew she was crying, I didn't have to look at her to know this.  
It hurt.  
It hurt to know that my doubts and fears were causing her pain...but this was something that I had never been confronted with…I didn't know how to handle the idea of being a father.

I gave her sideways glance and said, "I am not mad at you."

"Then what's wrong?! Why are you acting like this?!"

"I'm…" I started, but didn't finish my thought.

"You're what?" she asked from the doorway.

"Scared." I finished as I took my gaze off of her and stared at the floor.

I heard the door close as she walked up to me.

"Of what?" she asked softly.

"Of this." I said as I placed my hand on her stomach. "What if I'm not a good father?"

"What are you talking about? Of _course_ you're going to be a good father…"

I shook my head and motioned towards my father's statue, "I've never had a father figure in my life. I don't know how one is supposed to act around his children or what kind of role he plays in that child's life. My only memories of my father are those of pain and hatred…"

"But that's why you are going to be a great father." Sakura said.

I looked at her confused, and she continued, "Because your father was such a failure, it will make you work harder as a father to our child in order to _not _be like him. You will go out of your way to make sure the our child is loved and knows that he is loved and important in our lives."

"How do I do that?" I asked quietly.

"By loving him."

I closed my eyes and turned my head away from her, "And what of the villagers? What will they think of our child?"

"What do you mean?"

"They can do math Sakura, they know that this child was conceived while Shukaku was still in me. What if they view and treat our child like a monster? What if they isolate him from themselves, just like they did to me growing up?"

"They won't."

"How can you be so sure?" I snapped at her.

"Because I won't let them, and neither will you. You know what it's like growing up like that, and you will be sure that it does not happen to our child."

"And what if I can't?"

"Then at least our child will know that his parents, as well as his aunt and uncle love him and will always be there for him."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?" she asked confused.

"What if this child has some aspect of Shukaku within him? Shukaku killed my mother, what if the birth claims you as well? I can't bare the thought of losing you in such a way…and it would be all my fault…"

Taking my face in her hands, she directed my gaze to hers and said, "You did not kill your mother Gaara, your _father_ did. And nothing is going to happen to me, I'll be fine. Our child is a normal, healthy, growing baby. Shukaku doesn't even factor into this. Stop worrying so much and enjoy the moments that we have…"

Pulling her into me tightly, I pulled her as close as her stomach would allow.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me? Because you're worried about becoming a father and about our child and myself?"

"Yes." I said hoarsely

"You should have told me, all this time I thought it was something that I had done."

She gave me one more squeeze and then said, "Let's go home."

Taking her hand I nodded in agreement.

She left the room first, with me close behind her.  
As I closed the door behind us, I took one last look at my father's statue and thought _I will show you how a father should treat his children.  
_And with that, I closed the door behind us, leaving behind my father's memory as well as my uncertainties and qualms.

* * *

As we walked home through the dark empty streets, a wisp of sand brushed across my cheek and sent chills up my spine. 

Sakura stopped walking and stared at her stomach in confusion.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I don't know, but the baby started to move around violently all of a sudden…"

Placing my hand on her stomach, I felt as the baby moved and pushed against its prison.

Another soft breeze sent sand down my arm and over Sakura's belly, causing the baby to move around even more.

_Mother…_ Looking at Sakura's stomach I thought, _You know who that is, don't you little one?_

I had to get Sakura away from me.  
Remembering my last encounter with my mother, I didn't know what would happen to her.

Grabbing her hand and pulling her hurriedly along I said, "Come on. We need to get home…now."

"Gaara what's wrong?" she asked as she ran behind me.

I opened the front door and all but pushed her into the house.

"Stay here, and don't leave. I will return shortly."

"Gaara, what's going on?" she asked worriedly. But I didn't answer her, I transported myself away from her and out into the desert where my mother and I could have a conversation or confrontation without her walking into the middle of it.

_What do you want mother?_ I thought harshly.  
I was not at all pleased with the fact that I still had to deal with her haunting, even after Shukaku was gone.  
I had hoped that along with him, she would disappear as well.

**Is that the way you talk to your mother? **she asked me loudly.  
Her voice was all around me and the wind picked up considerably.  
Sand blew harshly around me and slowly materialized in front of me and took the shape of my mother.

**I came to see the baby, **the sandy creature said before me.  
Her mouth moved, but the words didn't come out of it, they echoed all around me.

I shook my head 'no'.

"Leave Sakura and our child alone."

**I mean it no harm…I just wanted to introduce it to its grandmother is all. That way it knows who I am so that I can…**

"Control him and use him as your tool." I finished for her.

My mother smirked at me then and said, **So that I can visit him without him being afraid of me.**

Stepping closer to me, she continued, **Your wife is very beautiful, and I can tell that she loves you greatly…and that you love her equally as much. **

It chilled me to see how vivid my mother was in front of me.  
I watched as her face changed with the emotions that her voice was displaying.  
This was the closest I had ever come to ever seeing my mother, even though she used to visit me repeatedly as a child.

She turned away from me and said,** I am jealous of your love.**

I was shocked.  
I didn't know what to say to her. I just stood there as she turned towards me again and wrapped me in her sandy arms.  
The sand rubbed against my skin roughly and any other person would have cried out in shock and pain; but not me.  
I was used to the feel of sand since it was constantly on or around my skin.

I did gasp at our contact though…my mother was hugging me.  
My _dead_ mother was hugging me…

All of the scars that I now had on my body, including the numerous ones on my back, screamed out at her grotesque display of affection.  
My body was rejecting her, but I still couldn't bring myself to push her away.

**I'm glad to see that all that you've been through has not made you heartless to the point where you will not let even one person in…**

I still couldn't move away, no matter how hard I willed myself.  
I was standing engulfed in my mother's arms in complete silence…

I felt as her sandy body shifted and as her grating lips pressed against the engraving on my forehead, causing it to burn.  
She pulled away from me and backed away slowly, the wind picked up and slowly began to break away her form.

**The child will know who I am. He has a part of Shukaku within him and he will never be like the other children, for he will be stronger than them. I will not pester him like I have done to you, but he will know that his grandmother is supporting him, just like the rest of his family…**

And with that, she left.  
The wind died down immediately and I was left alone in the desert.

I collapsed onto my knees and shook violently, she had just confirmed my worst fear: the child had a part of Shukaku within.

He would be different.  
He would be isolated.  
He would be hated…

And Sakura…  
There was now a large chance that she would not survive the birth.

The thought of losing her and once again being alone caused my chest to tighten, and a painful moan escaped my mouth before I could stifle it.

I quickly transported myself away from the spot and into my office.  
Grabbing a blank scroll, I furiously wrote down a request for Tsunade to be present during the birth and labor.  
If anyone could save Sakura, it would be Tsunade.

I sealed it and walked over to the birdhouse myself, picking the fastest bird in Suna and sent it on its way.

Knowing that I had just done everything I could to ensure Sakura's future…I silently walked back to our home to find Sakura waiting for me at the door.

"What's wrong!?" she asked me urgently. "What happened?"

I shook my head and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Nothing." I said.  
I couldn't tell her about what had just happened.  
If these were the last few months of her life, she deserved to live them without fear…

"Nothing…" I said again softly, pulling her closer to me.

I couldn't lose her…

Not now, not ever.


	22. Chapter 22

**you all are going to HATE me when you see how i ended this chapter...  
hate me, but PLEASE don't kill me...i'm almost done with this story. i'd like to finish it before i die.  
:-P**

**thanks AGAIN for the awesome, amazing, kick-ass reviews everyone!  
i only see one more chapter after this one though...that's so sad! now what am i going to do when i'm bored?!**

**:-)**

* * *

The few weeks before the actual due date, I was on edge.

I knew that any day Sakura could go into labor, and Tsunade wasn't due to arrive for another week and a half yet…  
If Sakura went into labor, then Tsunade would not be around to help her, and she would surely die.

Every night I refused to sleep, I would not sleep until everything was behind me; and I watched over Sakura's sleeping form making sure that she was alright.  
I would whisper to the baby as she slept and begged our child to wait until Tsunade arrived.

I never thought it would happen, but I found myself relating to Yashumaru and the feelings that he harbored towards me; because if this child took the life of Sakura, I don't know if I would ever be able to love or forgive it…  
I hated myself for these feelings, and I would pace in our room in order to erase them.  
I kept telling myself that Sakura loves this child and that she would gladly lay down her life in order for the child to live, just like I would…but I would also lay down my life so that they could _both_ live.

I begged the gods of the desert to take my life if a sacrifice was needed in order for this child to be born.  
I prayed that every night over Sakura as she slept.  
I would place my hand on her now very pregnant belly and would feel as our child moved around within her as I begged it to be gentle during its birth.

Each day went on for eternity.

Each passing hour was one hour closer until Tsunade arrived..

All of Suna was buzzing with the prospect of our child.  
They had received the news of Sakura's pregnancy shortly after the wedding, and a large celebration was held once again by the villagers.  
They were all excited and eagerly awaited the arrival of their next possible Kazekage.

* * *

The night before Tsunade was to arrive, the lack of sleep finally caught up with me…or rather, Sakura _noticing_ my lack of sleep had caught up with me.  
She ordered me into our room and wouldn't let me come out until I slept.

Knowing full well how badly her hormones were raging, I decided to go quietly and not argue about it…I saw what she had done to Kankuro when he mentioned that she had to wear paternity clothes…and I didn't feel like being in a broken heap on the floor.

As soon as I got into bed, all of the stress and nervousness caught up with me in a sudden wave of exhaustion, and I soon fell asleep.

When I rolled over, I found that it was night already and that Sakura was sleeping soundly next to me.  
I wrapped one of my arms around her, which no longer reached all the way around due to her stomach, and went back to sleep.

I woke up cold.

I reached out for the blankets, but found that they had all fallen onto the floor.  
Groaning, I reached over Sakura's side to grab them, but she wasn't there…feeling her spot, I found it cold as well, which meant that she had been gone for a while.  
One thing her side _did_ have was a cold, wet spot.

Confused, I got out of bed in search of my wife.

I heard small noises coming from the bathroom down the hall and went to investigate. When I opened the door a crack, I found Sakura bracing herself against the sink shaking and covered with sweat.

"Sakura what's wrong?" I asked as I swung the door fully open.

She turned and looked at me with a panicked expression, "My water broke!" she said and I stared at her in panic.

My stomach dropped to the floor and bile rose to the back of my throat.  
_No…_ I thought to myself _not yet…Tsunade's not here yet! _

I ran to our room and grabbed a blanket off of the floor and returned to the bathroom and wrapped Sakura in it.  
Picking her up bridal style, I sat her on the couch in the living room, instructing her to stay there, and then I rushed to Temari's room banging on her door loudly.

My sister swung her bedroom door open suddenly, her hair was a knotted mess on top of her head.

"What?!" she whined tiredly, I could tell that she was extremely pissed off that I had woken her up.

"Sakura's in labor." I said, slightly out of breath.

Temari's face went from annoyed to excited as she squealed at me.

I pushed her back into the room and shut the door behind us. "There's a problem…" I said.

I had to tell someone about our child.  
I had planned on only telling Tsunade, but since she wasn't here, I trusted Temari to keep the secret instead.

"What's wrong?" Temari said, trying to get passed me to go to Sakura, but I kept pushing her back.

"Gaara! What is your problem!?"

"The baby has a part of Shukaku in it. Sakura's life is in danger…"

Temari stopped all movement and stared at me.

"Does she know about this?"

I shook my head 'no', "I didn't want to tell her, there was no reason to get her upset about it."

"So that's why you wanted Tsunade to come…" she reflected to herself.

"I need your help." I said.

"Anything."

"I need you to rush to Leaf and get Tsunade, you can get there and back the quickest by using your wind techniques. I would go, but I don't want to leave Sakura alone. Tell Tsunade about the problem and get her here as soon as you can."

Temari nodded, understanding my position completely. She grabbed her fan, not even bothering to change out of her pajamas and jumped out of the window.  
In seconds, she was a speck on the moon.

Satisfied with my decision, I rushed back out into the hallway only to bump into Kankuro.

"Oi Gaara! Sakura is in labor in the living room!"

"Baka, I know!" I said as I pushed him out of the way. "Go to the hospital and get some medics and bring them here."

Kankuro nodded and then moved to the front door, rushing out down the street.

I returned to Sakura's side and found her pale and in pain.

"Something's wrong!" she said as she grabbed at her stomach and groaned.

I went into the kitchen and got her a glass of water and a damp rag so that she could wipe her forehead with it.

Returning to her I asked, "What do you want me to do?"

She ignored the water and the rag and said, "Help me up, maybe if I move around it won't be so bad."

Supporting both of her arms I gently helped her stand up.  
Her legs collapsed under her and I caught her as she fell.

She moaned in pain once again and I witnessed as the color that was left in her skin drained away completely until her skin was lucent in the dark room.

I looked at the couch and saw a large puddle of blood where she had been sitting.

_No…_ I thought and I felt Sakura lose consciousness and fall completely into me.

The medics that I had sent Kankuro to get rushed in and saw me supporting Sakura's now unconscious body.

Rushing towards me they grabbed her and did a few quick tests on her.

"Something wrong." one of them said to everyone in the room.

"We need to get her to the hospital…" another one said and looked at me.

I nodded at them, panic plaguing my body and mind," Do anything that needs to be done! Just make sure that she's okay…"

They all nodded and picked her up, rushing her out of the house and to the hospital.

I wanted to rush after them, but my body was frozen.  
I stared at the blood on the couch and floor and I hated myself for every drop that had been spilt.

_This is all my fault…_I thought. _If she dies, I will never forgive myself._

"GAARA!" Kankuro yelled, breaking me away from my thoughts.  
He was standing at the door, holding it open and waiting for me.  
"Let's go!" he said impatiently.

I nodded and rushed out the door and headed to the hospital.

* * *

They wouldn't let me in the room with her.

Her screams echoed down the hallways and I covered my ears as I held my head.  
Ever since I can remember, people's screams used to be comforting to me.  
They were what I lived…_use _to live for.  
But every scream that Sakura made was pure hell to me and I wanted nothing more to be deaf at that moment.

I squeezed my eyes shut and restrained myself from rocking back and forth in the chair that I was sitting in.

Kankuro just stared wide-eyed at the doors that lead to the room that Sakura was in…suddenly he spoke, breaking the silence between us, "This…this is the nightmare I used to have when I was little…this…this is exactly how it was like when mom was having you…"

I squeezed my eyes tighter together and I dug my nails into my scalp.

_Hurry up Temari!_ I screamed in my head as another piercing, agonizing scream erupted from Sakura.

A doctor emerged from the room, his white robes covered in blood.

"I need a blood donor." He informed us.

I stood up immediately, "I'm the same blood type as she is."

"Quickly, come with me." he said as he motioned down the hall. He lead me to a small room and set things up quickly.

Grabbing my arm roughly, he hurriedly jabbed the needle into my vein and I watched as my blood drained down a short tube and into a large bag.

When the bag was full, the man removed the needle, grabbed the bag and rushed out of the room.

I didn't want to move.  
I couldn't move.  
Sakura was dying…I could feel it.

Her screams were getting worse, but at the same time, they were becoming weaker…

My eyes became very wet all of a sudden, and I tried to blink the wetness away.  
As I did so, small wet droplets spilt out of them and hit the hospital table that I was sitting on.

Bringing my hands up to my face, I caught a droplet and stared at it curiously…I was crying.

I clenched my hand over my heart and collapsed in on myself.  
I sobbed quietly and my body shook with grief.

Minutes passed, and I was no longer crying.  
I was just sitting there staring at nothing…

I couldn't move.  
I couldn't think.  
I just sat there, and listened as Sakura screamed.

And screamed…

And screamed…

Running footsteps broke me out of my hell, and I ran out of the room and into the hallway to see who it was.

Temari and Tsunade were running towards me, Tsunade had a worried expression on her face.

"Where is she?!" she asked.

I pointed to the room as another scream came out of it.

Tsunade rushed in there and left Temari and I standing in the hallway.  
Temari pulled me into a hug and squeezed tightly.

"I got here as soon as I could…" she said.

I just stood there, retreating inside of myself once again.

Temari pulled away and stared at me for a few seconds.  
"Come on Gaara, let's go sit down" she said as she moved me to where Kankuro was still sitting, only now he was hugging his knees on the chair.

I sat down, and Temari sat down next to me.  
She rubbed my back and whispered reassuring things into my ear, but I didn't hear or feel any of it.  
I just wanted Sakura to stop screaming.  
I wanted our baby to be healthy and normal.  
And I wanted Sakura to survive this…

Suddenly, Sakura let out the loudest scream that we had heard yet, and then everything was silent.

Too silent.

I stared at the doors, waiting for something…ANYTHING to happen.

The doors slowly opened, and Tsunade stepped into the waiting room.  
She was wiping her forehead and she was also covered in blood.

"Gaara, come here." she said, motioning to me.

I stood up and dread overwhelmed every cell in my body…

I didn't hear Sakura anymore.

And I didn't hear a baby crying…

I forced myself to keep moving forward.  
I didn't want to enter into the room where Sakura was because I was afraid of what would greet me…but I put one foot in front of the other, and eventually entered the area that she was in.

My eyes widened at the scene before me.

The room had been cleaned up, so the brightness of the white room caused me to squint slightly.  
Sakura was sleeping soundly as her heart monitor repeatedly beeped strongly in the quiet room.  
Tsunade walked into the room ahead of me and picked something up. Walking over to me once again, she motioned for me to hold out my hands and set a small warm bundle into them.

I looked into the blankets and saw that there was a baby wrapped in them.

"Congratulations Gaara…it's a boy."

I stared astonished at the wriggling baby in my arms. "But he didn't…there wasn't any…"

"Crying?" Tsunade finished for me.

I nodded at her.

"Here, support his head more." she instructed me.  
I did as I was told and the baby immediately stopped fussing so much.

"He didn't cry. He just came out and opened his eyes and glared at everyone…it reminded me of your glaring habit. But there's nothing wrong with him…he's absolutely perfect."

I looked over at Sakura, "Is she…"

"She's fine now." Tsunade said, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "We almost lost her there, but she pulled through like a champ. She's just resting now, she shouldn't be sleeping long. I'll leave you two alone."

And with that she walked out of the room and left me in the room with a sleeping Sakura and our child.

I walked over to Sakura and watched her sleep silently thanking the gods that she was alive.

Sitting down in the chair next to the bed, I unwrapped the blankets slightly and stared at my son.

He stared right back at me with calculating eyes that were sea green with a yellow ring around the pupil.  
The yellow was no doubt from Shukaku.

The small hairs on his head were red, and I smirked at this.

"Hopefully you don't take after me _too_ much…" I mused quietly to him.

There was a soft knock on the door and Temari and Kankuro poked their heads in.

They opened up the door fully when they saw me and openly stared in shock at the sight in front of them…I can only imagine what they were thinking; and I'm sure if I saw myself in the mirror I wouldn't have believed it either.

"I was expecting to see an emotionally ruined little brother…" Kankuro said, amazement still in his voice as he looked down at me.

"Is that…?" Temari asked as she pointed to the bundle of blankets in my arms.

"Is this your nephew? Yes, it is."

Temari squealed and held out her arms, in which I placed my son.

Kankuro looked over her shoulder and smiled at the baby.

"He just like his dad…" he mused, "he's glaring daggers at me already."

I just smiled at the two of them, this was without a doubt the happiest moments in my life…

A low grumble came from Sakura as she started to wake up.  
I stood up and walked over to her, leaving Temari and Kankuro with the baby.

"Gaara…?" she said groggily. I sat down on the bed and smiled at her.

"The baby…! Where is it?! Is everything okay?!" she said getting worried and looking around for the baby.

I pointed behind me at my siblings and said, "He's fine. He's beautiful and healthy, just like you said."

"He?" she asked as her eyes welled up with tears.

I nodded at her and wiped a tear away. "You had us scared there…" I said as I remembered the tears that I had shed earlier.

She smiled and said, "Well, I have to keep you on your toes. Otherwise life is just too boring."

I smiled at her and shook my head.

Temari walked over and handed our son to Sakura.

"Here's your mommy…" she said and I watched as Sakura looked at our son for the first time.

Tears rolled down her face as she smiled down at him, "He looks just like his father."

"And will hopefully take after his mother." I added.

"Come on Kankuro, let's leave them alone." Temari said as she grabbed the back of Kankuro's shirt.

"But…" he started but was already out the door before he got another word out.

Sakura smiled at them and then smiled at me.

I leaned in and gave her a kiss, and then gave our son one as well.

"See? You're already being a good father…" she said.

I turned my head away from her to hide the slight blush that was starting.

"Have you thought of any names?" she asked me, changing the subject.

I nodded at her and said, "How about the name…"

* * *

**A/N:  
here's where we play a fun little game called: "Name Gaara's Baby!".**

**seriously folks... what should i name the kid?! let me know what you guys come up with!**

**:-)**


	23. Chapter 23

**i'm thinking about writing an AU story next...since that will be a good challenge by making Gaara and Sakura real life characters and not just anime characters. i'm also thinking on doing something with Gaara's mother's diary that was mentioned in one of these chapters...  
**

so thanks once again everyone. it's been a great ride...

**:-)**

* * *

A few days later, our son was presented to the village. 

I was nervous that they would reject him, but cheers once again echoed throughout the desert as Sakura held him in her arms while I had my arm wrapped protectively around her.

Eventually I told her about what are son was and why the birth had went so badly. Upon hearing the news, she held him closer and reached out to hold my hand. She explained to me that she had been having dreams about our son somehow she knew that they weren't really dreams and that there was something special about him.  
She was upset that I hadn't told her, but she understood why I hadn't as well.

Sakura's strength amazed me.

Within twenty-four hours after the birth, she was back to her old self again and walking around as if she hadn't almost died.  
This was all due to Tsunade's care and medical attention of course…  
But still, her ability to bounce back and recover made my insides swell with pride.  
I don't know why she had ever thought herself weak…she is the strongest person I know.

Our son was silent and observant.  
He hardly made any noise and never cried, of course, he had no reason to cry.

He would constantly watch and analyze everything.  
Nothing escaped his gaze, and Temari often teased me with stories of when I was a baby and how I would do the same exact thing.

He would sometimes fuss in Sakura's arms, and the only way to get him to stop was for her to hand him over to me.  
As soon as he was placed in my hesitant arms, he would stop fussing and stare contentedly at me or whatever else was around him.  
I would often find myself locked into staring contests with my son…some of which he would win.

Sakura would often say, "Like father like son…" but no matter how much he resembled me, I could see more of Sakura in him then anything. I saw her in his eyes whenever he stared at something; he didn't stare at it in anger or hatred like I had done, he was more curious about the object and simply wanted to learn more about it.

One night, I was sitting in bed doing paper work while Sakura slept soundly next to me.  
Her naked body was draped in blankets and bathed in moonlight.  
I found myself distracted from my work as my gaze often drifted to her as I watched her sleep.

A soft breeze blew through our bedroom window and washed over me.  
But there was something different about this wind, because as much as I felt it, it didn't seem to touch anything else because the covers on the bed and even Sakura's soft hair didn't move at all.

There was also a familiar scent to the wind…it smelled strongly of hot desert sand and blood…  
_Shukaku…_ I thought.  
I knew that I had to go out there and see what the meaning of this wind was…maybe Shukaku hadn't been taken by the Akatsuki after all…

I crept out of bed silently, making sure not to disturb Sakura, and went to check on my son before I left.

When I looked into his room, I saw him being disturbed by the same wind that I had…only he was reaching his small arms out to it and trying to grab it with his chubby hands.

I walked over to his crib and looked at him. His gaze broke away from the invisible wind and rested on me, begging me to take him with me.

My son and I always had a way of communicating with one another…probably due to the link that we had with Shukaku. I seemed to understand him more then anyone else. Whenever he fussed, I immediately knew what he wanted…whether he was hungry or tired or needed to be changed…I knew what he needed before Sakura or my siblings could figure it out.

I rubbed my fingers over his forehead and whispered, "I'm sorry…I didn't want you to bare this burden as well."

But he only tried to reached for my hand and grabbed my finger, squeezing it; as if to say, "it's okay".

Picking him up and wrapping him heavily in blankets in order to protect him from the harsh cold wind, I transported us both deep into the desert.

And then I waited.

It wasn't long before I felt a huge chakra presence, one of which I knew all too well…it was Shukaku.

The giant sand demon slunk toward us and then sat down near us with a thud that shook the ground.

_**Hello boy…**_ he said as his mouth twisted into a grin.

"Shukaku…" I said smirking right back at him. "You're free."  
Oddly enough, it felt good to see the demon that had once plagued my existence.

_**They tried to place me in a new host…but he soon broke under my power. **_

My smirk grew into a full smile as I envisioned one of those Akatsuki members breaking under Shukaku, writhing on the ground in pain as Shukaku tore him apart from the inside out.

_**What are you holding?**_ Shukaku's voice broke me away from my thoughts.

My smile faded and I unwrapped my son from his blankets and held him up for Shukaku to see.  
Upon seeing the demon, my son didn't cry out shrink away, he just stared at the beast in wonderment and curiosity.

"Our son." I said answering Shukaku's question.

The demon gaped openly at the baby and then gave him a skeptic smirk.

A tendril of sand came out and took my son gently from my arms.  
I knew that Shukaku wouldn't hurt him, my son was a child of the desert, just as I am; and although Shukaku would never openly say it, he held a deep respect for the beings that thrived in this barren land.

Shukaku floated my son close to his face and studied him.

_**Hmmm, you should tell this creature that it's not polite to stare at his superiors…**_

A small noise escaped from my son and I smiled when I recognized it as laughter.  
I watched as the baby reached out and grabbed Shukaku's nose.  
Shukaku withdrew his face immediately and growled threatingly at the boy.  
I readied myself to defend my child, but was quickly unnerved when I heard Shukaku's growling become a loud echoing laughter.  
But it wasn't the maniacal laughter that had often plagued my mind, it was a loud belly laugh that I had never heard escape Shukaku's mouth before.

_**What is his name?**_ Shukaku asked as he placed the boy in his hand and played with him using some sand.

"We named him Aiji." I said, smirking at the scene in front of me. I had never thought I would ever see Shukaku openly playing with a baby…

_**Hmmm, Aiji…meaning beloved child. It suits him. I sense a lot of that pink haired kunoichi in him…I take it she is the mother?**_

I nodded at him and replied, "Yes she is. We're married now."

_**I must say…you're life has turned out better then all of the other hosts I've had combined.**_

"Look at yourself." I mused at him, "playing with a baby…"

Shukaku stopped his actions immediately, and leaned in close to me in a threatening way.  
However, the dense mood was destroyed by my son giving the demon the meanest glare he could muster…

One look at the baby's glare, and Shukaku was reduced to laughter once again.  
_**Apparently all of those changes you went through while you were still my host rubbed off on me as well…  
**_Looking at me once again he continued, _**He will make a fine Sand shinobi.**_ _**I take it that is what he will be…**_

I nodded at him once again, "Sakura and I have discussed his future, and we both want him to become a shinobi for his country, and will hopefully follow in my footsteps as Kazekage."

Shukaku returned his gaze to my son and said, _**He has a great inner strength. He will be a fine leader. **_

Lifting Aiji with another tendril of sand, he held him in the air between us and said, _**Aiji, you are a part of me and are therefore part of this desert, and for that I will grant you my protection. You will be a controller of sand just as your father is and will forever find yourself protected by it.**_

With that said, Shukaku placed Aiji into my arms once again.

I bowed deeply, thanking him for this gift.

Shukaku nodded at me and turned to leave. _**Take care of yourself boy…I'm returning to the desert where I belong. You may find me summoning you once again…but until then…**_

"Until then." I said, nodding and smirking at him.

When I returned to my home, nothing had changed.  
Everyone was still sound asleep…I placed Aiji back into his crib and stayed by his side until he fell asleep.

I never told Sakura what had transpired that night.  
As Aiji and his talent with sand grew, she just assumed that it was just inherited genetically through me.  
It was purely a secret that Aiji and I kept between the two of us.

* * *

About a year and a half later, Sakura was pregnant once again.  
Only this time I had no doubts or fears about it… 

Nine months flew by and we soon had another son, who we named Yuu, because he fully inherited his mother's gentle spirit.  
His emerald green eyes looked upon everything with a gentle nature and he constantly reached out to the world with an innocence that I had never known.

Between my duties as a Kazekage, my duties to Sakura as a friend and husband, and my fathering duties to our two children, my days and nights were completely wrapped in bliss.

Suna was thriving in ways it had never known.  
We were now completely independent and our treaty and relationship with Leaf was so strong it was almost like they were just another extension off of us, and not a separate village.

Years flew by and our house was brimming with the sound of children's laughter…After Aiji and Yuu, Sakura and I had three more children: our son Sachiko named after his constant smiling and laughter; our son Takeshi named after the risks he took while he played with his siblings; and our youngest, a daughter that we named Sabaku no Suiren since she was strong both physically and mentally like her mother but still had an elegant grace and beauty to her…just like a lily.

In addition to our children, there was also Temari's daughter Bara; who had the attitude of her mother but the laziness of her father…that Nara boy.

Kankuro also had his hands full with his wife, Ino, and son, Haru…  
I was a little uneasy about his relationship with Sakura's best friend, especially since she annoyed me; but overtime she grew on me and I was happy for my brother.  
But mostly I liked watching as he was beaten repeatedly over the head by Ino for his immaturity and stupidity…

* * *

I was amazed at how great my life had turned out for me... 

I was married to and in love with Sakura.  
Our four sons and daughter were healthy and strong, and all showed great promise in becoming some of the strongest shinobi Suna had ever seen.  
My siblings were both happy and were busy with families of their own.  
I had been recognized by all of Suna, and they had given me the title of the greatest Kazekage in the history of our village.

Late one night, I was enjoying the silence in the house that was hardly ever heard anymore.  
Everyone was sound asleep, and I walked outside to enjoy the cold night air.

The greenhouse that was built and housing the two Sakura trees that Tsunade had given us as a wedding present caught my eye, and I found myself walking to it.

The heat and humidity inside of the building caught me off guard, but I soon forgot the drastic change in climate as I stared at the two trees in front of me. They had both thrived under Sakura's constant care and I smirked at a smaller sapling that was growing between the two.  
Apparently the two trees had germinated over the years, and I found this to be very fitting compared to our actual family.

I walked up to the smaller tree and studied the flowers that were blooming on it.  
The flowers were pink with red mixed into them…

A smile spread across my face as I reflected on the intermixing colors…  
_Red and pink…_I thought. _How fitting…_

A noise behind me broke me away from my reflections, and I turned around to see Sakura standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sleep heavy in her voice.

I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, "I'm fine." I said, squeezing her tight into me.

She sighed against me and returned the hug.

"Thank you…" I whispered.

"For what?" she asked into my chest.

I loosened my grip on her and said, "For loving me."

She pulled me into a kiss and said, "Thank you for trusting me."

Kissing her once again, I broke away and said, "Come on, let's go to bed."

Smiling at me, she grabbed me by the hand and walked with me into the house…

* * *

As I reflect on how good my life has turned out, and how much I have gained over the years, I have concluded this: I would gladly suffer through those first few years of hell in my life over and over again just as long as I got Sakura and my family in the end... 

**The End.**


End file.
